Trusting while not together

[bc3499]

My gf and I are spending new years apart. She's planning on going out with her friends to a big new years eve party.

I'm having negative thoughts that she is going to flirt etc. with other guys there. She normally wouldn't do it but I'm afraid when alcohol is involved (although it hasn't been a problem before). I don't have a reason to believe these thoughts but I just can't get them out of my mind. I need to be more trusting. Ideas on how to get these negative thoughts out of my mind?

Thanks!

[Lady1121]

How old is she? If she's young she probably will sorry to say

[Junket]

Some girls like the attention of new, hard, dripping cocks.

[bc3499]

Wow thanks for the reassurances :-P She's 23.

[sookie6]

If you think she will flirt it's probably because you know she does when she goes out.

You're both young and unless you've made some kind of serious commitment to each other (engagement or miving in together) I think you should nicely ask her to behave when she parties and leave it at that. What else could you do? Have a fit? Enter a tiresome argument? Ban her from going out? Spy on her?

You see, you don't have that many options. Stop torturing yourself..that's for sure.

[Junket]

Wow thanks for the reassurances :-P She's 23.

I'm sorry that was a bit rough.

I think people just need to be a bit wary about their partners during these younger years, just advice in general.

[bc3499]

I'm sorry that was a bit rough.

I think people just need to be a bit wary about their partners during these younger years, just advice in general.

Yeah, she hasn't done it before we started dating or since, and didn't misbehave whenever we went out with friends. And plus she's going out with her friends, which are also my good friends (girl friends) so I think they will be able to look after one another.

Do you think it's a good idea to text her periodically during the night to see how everything's going? Obviously not a lot because that would be stupid and clingy but just a few to keep me in her mind.

I'm overthinking this situation like mad, must stop.

[sookie6]

not a good idea. remember:

INSECURE=NOT SEXY

[bc3499]

not a good idea. remember:

INSECURE=NOT SEXY

You're right, not sexy at all. I'll just tell her to be careful, I'm sure everything will be fine but there's that nagging voice in my head that says "what if..." argh

[Junket]

You're right, not sexy at all. I'll just tell her to be careful, I'm sure everything will be fine but there's that nagging voice in my head that says "what if..." argh

Tell the nagging voice to shut the f*ck up.

[Kberg57]

You said you have no reason to think those thoughts, then dont! If she has never given you a reason to not trust her then there should be no reason for you to think she would go out and flirt with other guys.. or as Frasbee said "likes the attention of new, hard, dripping cocks"... Not all girls are whores and age does not matter either... A girl can be faithful, no matter how old she is.. I have actually gone through this exact situation.. But in mine, I would be the girlfriend going out to party and drinking, and having the boyfriend not trust me.. So my advice, don't keep it in.. It will just make it worse.. Express your feelings to her, its okay to be reassured that nothing would happen. The worst thing to have happen in a relationship is for someone to not trust the other. Hope that helps from a girls perspective...

[vashti]

Are you serious? Just keep yourself busy, and keep your mouth shut! Why should she suffer when this is a problem of YOURS, and not hers?

[Nineball]

dude don't make any contact with her on how she's doing or if she is okay. you will then be perceived as a dad and that is definitely a no-no.

i think it's normal to have these thoughts in any relationship, even if your trust is rock-solid. just don't let them plague your mind. now you're probably going to be drinking on new year's too...and when alcohol is mixed with your emotions, that is a bomb waiting to go off. you have to keep yourself in check.

and who's dumb idea was to spend new year's eve apart? what happened to your new year's kiss? i mean i wouldn't worry about her kissing some random guy at midnight. don't let that enter your head.