Mixed feelings. Frustrated.

[danwin]

I am a professional male in my early twenties. I have been dating a nice girl nearly 10 years my senior for the past three years. It's going well, because she sort of acts my age anyway and we get along well. We currently live together. I have been having the following problems:

One, she is very very competitive. Competitive to the point that is seriously puts me off. We played monopoly one time. She landed on one of my properties ONCE and quit before storming off to bed. Gaming (i.e., the ropleplaying kind) is one of my hobbies and it is difficult to do with her because she always has to 'win'. We used to play Word of Warcraft. She stopped playing when she realized that I had somehow earned 7 XP more than her. She never played again.

Two, she has very low self-esteem. This has led to a life of being plus-size, which is fine with me. Even the size she was when we started dating, I was still attracted to her. over the past year or so, she has gained a large amount of weight and, as horrible it is to make me say this, I feel less attracted to her. This has made it harder for me to get intimate with her, and she resents me for not wanting to do so more often.

Three, she becomes very, very jealous. The other day I took a (female) friend of mine out to lunch because she was having a bad day. When my GF found out she became very upset and accused me of cheating on her. Nothing I can do or say will change her mind. She thinks that I don't love her anymore or that I'm just using her. She also tends to become paranoid, doing things like checking my browser history to see if I'm trying to hook up with other girls online. I had to put a password on my computer so she would stop going through my hard drive. I have a sinking feeling that inevitably she will somehow find this very loveforum thread and use it against me as proof I don't love her.

Right now I just don't know what to do. She won't talk to me, she has become so insensitive and sometimes she just annoys the hell out of me. I feel so frustrated and I feel guilty because I don't feel as attracted. And her self-esteem issues and over-competitiveness are a huge turn-off.

I don't know if I love her anymore. And if not, I don't know what to do.

[oldskool83]

i think your writing it on the wall. if your question if you love her anymore you dont. you need to talk to her about this. write everything and present it as a speach. somthing is not healthy you gotta talk and tell her how you feel. maybe joiin a gym together as an opening statment?