Help 6 years and its over...

[dr1310]

Hi every one...

Ok well my situation is very complicated me and my girlfriend (x) have been together for nearly 6 years and 3 weeks ago we broke up i guess because i never saw how controlling i was and i was more parenting her then being as her boyfriend and also the relation ship never progressed. She Asked me to give her a week to get her thoughts rite and see what she wants but i kept pushing as in texting her and calling her until she just said she doesn't want to be together any more, after that had happened within about 20 mins i got deleted off face book all pictures been taken off and what not, a week later she texted me and said she had to do it this way as that was the only way she could do it... I was there for her 24 hours a day 7 days a week when ever she needed anything for the whole relation ship i know i have messed up the relation ship i am still in love with her but i don't really think she feels the same way,

After a week of the break she txted me and wanted to discuss about what happened not to get back together but just so i know why she just broke off all contact with me and what not and i understand that she needed her space,

After that she has just been texting me normal friendly txts and occasional phone call but it feels very weird now i feel like i need time for myself, I msged her and Told her that i feel like i need time for my self and i respect that you need time for yourself and when the time is rite we can talk about it, I have given myself until the beginning of next month if i still have feelings for her i will let her know and see what she say but for the time being i will not contact her at all , as i feel like she has both the icing and the cake , she txts me when she feels like it and she goes and does her own thing so it doesn't feel fair for me,

Can any body give me some advice i am just stuck in a loop and its hard as most of my friends are friends with her

Thanks every one

[IncognitoSir]

Sounds like she just got feed up but had you guys talked about your controlling ways previous to the break up?

[dr1310]

Not really she had never really mentioned anything about it, i mean i now see what i have done wrong as i been thinking about it practically every day, you think not contacting her for a few weeks would be ideal?

[IncognitoSir]

Well first, it's apparent you guys had a communication problem. The only reason you realize you were being controlling or better yet, doing something wrong is because she broke up with you. She has to communicate those things to you so that they can be corrected. That doesn't excuse your actions in any way but when you guys talk, you need to mention that, nicely might I add. I do find it hard to believe she NEVER mentioned she had a problem with you being controlling though, but hey whatever you say bro. Yeah, give her some space and take time to clear your head. You need to take steps to change your controlling ways and be ready to explain your methods of change when you meet with her.

[dr1310]

She had never really had a serious talk about it i just thought it was fine, but i know it's not. Thanks for your advice really good to hear some one else views on it

[IncognitoSir]

The fact that she still has contact gives you reason to believe the relationship is salvageable.It's gonna take a lot of work on your part, g'luck bro.