Can this relationship be saved? How can I revive my feelings?

[JieLynn]

I will try to keep this as short as possible, but it is a pretty long and complicated story.

I'm 20, a college student. My boyfriend is 21, also a student. We just passed our one year anniversary.
During the first 8 to 9 months of the relationship, everything was fine. We had fun together, we were happy. Looking back on it, I feel like we were missing a deeper connection. We connected superficially, but we never got beyond that. We never talked about our beliefs or perspectives or life goals much and now I feel our understanding of eachother is lacking because we never learned to communicate that way before.

Rewind, a couple months ago. We were at a party, and this situation had happened several times before. My boyfriend always wanted to drive rather than take a cab, except since I am the only one of us who has a car, we always take my car, which has always been fine with me. Except my boyfriend drinks and drives my car. I'm fine with him driving my car on one drink. But he is having 3, 4, sometimes 5 drinks, and then driving my car home. When I told him to stop drinking, he would get angry at me, and claim that I didnt trust him to know his own limits, he insisted he wasnt drunk. Finally, that night, when we were walking to the car we were arguing about something petty. He made a general statement about something that I disagreed with, and it seems that whenever I disagree with him he thinks I'm trying to be condescending and prove that I'm smarter than him. And perhaps it seems that way, because I do get frustrated when we disagree and I feel like he doesn't even listen to what I say. Anyway, he was angry about me for this when we got in the car (I couldnt drive, as I had been drinking, since we had planned on him driving). While driving, he actually hit another car. Luckily, there was no damage and we avoided trouble, but this was a huge wake-up call to me, and i was absolutely furious because I had asked him several times to stop drinking (and the accident was definitely caused by him not paying attention and not being able to judge the distance between us and the other car). We didn't speak for two days and he avoided me. I thought it was because he was so ashamed of himself.
When I finally confronted him, I was so upset that I was emotionally ready to end it right there if I did not get a sincere and heartfelt apology and he didnt take responsibility for what happened. At first, he seemed to think he had done nothing wrong. He was still mad at me for being "condescending"! I was livid, and I gave him my ultimatum and expressed my feelings, upon which he seemed to realize what I was saying, and he broke down completely, apologizing sincerely.
But ever since then, I feel there has been some sort of emotional disconnect in my mind. I didnt get the reaction i wanted from him until I dragged it out, and this was really disappointing to me. I feel like since then, I've lost faith in our relationship.

shortly after, I left for spring break to volunteer for two weeks in Colombia. I had a great time, and i tried to communicate with my boyfriend while i was gone over the internet. He was very upset that I was gone, and he became really jealous and possessive, getting angry when one of the other volunteers, who was male, became my facebook friend and posted on my wall. He got angry and sarcastic when I told him I didnt want to skype because I was trying to be social with the other volunteers I was living with. He was basically very clingy and emotional during this phase, and I was not in the mood or the state to deal with it at all. I ended up choosing to avoid it altogether, after I explained to him why what he was doing was upsetting me. Our one year anniversary fell during this break, and he sent a large bouquet of roses to my apartment in colombia, from the United states. During the second part of the break, he was better, and not as possessive.

I came home to find a completely changed boyfriend. He had bought me tons of gifts, and was doing everything he could to be romantic and to "make up for his behavior" in the past. I see he really is sincere in this, and i dont doubt his intentions or that he really loves me. I know he wants to do whatever he can to make the relationship better, as he has been able to sense the distance between us. the thing is, after both of these things, I feel so emotionally drained and disconnected from the relationship. Im tired of talking about it, I dont want to spend time with him, I dont want to think about our future. I feel we dont relate well, we dont connect emotionally anymore, and we never connected intellectually in the first place. A lot of that is my fault, as I feel I have withdrawn from the relationship and closed myself off.
I dont want to break up, I know he really loves me, and we used to be very happy. We had plans of moving in together next fall, but I'm started to balk at that idea after all this. I want to be able to regain faith in our relationship and in our ability to be compatible, but I have no idea where to start. And I cant help but think maybe its not worth the effort. I just dont understand, we had such a great relationship, and so quickly it fell apart. I will be leaving for 2 months at the end of May for a summer study abroad program, so we don't have much time together to figure things out before I go, and even less time to figure out whether or not we will be able to share an apartment next year.

[Bonfire]

This is what dating is all about, figuring out whether someone is compatible with you for the long haul. In most cases, couples aren't compatible after the initial physical attractions slowly wears off. That's why we go through so many relationships. We keep going til we meet that special someone that clicks with us in every level. There are many who just settles however.