Taking a break...

[JordanW]

I don't know where to turn.

I am a 23 year old male living in Queensland. My partner and I have been in a relationship for 6 months, not a long time I know, but during this time we have not only become lovers, but best friends, or so I thought.

I was never a popular person at school, nor did I have a lot of friends so when I feel a particular connection to a person, I tend to grasp it and make the most of it.*

As of recently (in the last 12 months) I have been diagnosed with depression. My G.P had prescribed me Aropax, a common antidepressant and for the first 5 months of the treatment, I felt the drug was working for me. I had never felt better, I had a renewed sense of confidence and my anxiety levels were almost non existant. On the 6th month on Aropax, I began to date K.

K is a beautiful, kind and caring person who has been through a lot in her life and deserves the world. I had previously known K for years beforehand so we were already good friends and the transition to a relationship was easy and felt right. The first 3 months of the relationship was bliss, we connected on so many levels and before I knew it, we had both told each other that we loved one another. From that point on I knew, we knew we were soul mates.

About 4 months into the relationship I noticed a change in K. She wasn't as happy and as chirpy as she usually was, we had stopped passionately kissing, *ceased sleeping together and she just seamed all round unhappy.*Because of my condition, if find it very hard to approach this type of thing and am not good with talking about my/our problems.*

This, 4-5 months into the relationship, is when I started to notice the effects of the Aropax wearing off. Slight depression returned along with feelings of anger towards myself and K because of the way our relationship was heading.*

I would regularly get angry (but not abusive) and fly off the handle at silly things and on more than one occasion, punch holes in walls. I would regularly get emotional in my head and text message K after we had gone to bed about how sorry I was and how bad of a person I am and how she should leave me (by this point we were sleeping in separate rooms as a result of my snoring).

1 year into the Aropax treatment, and 6 months into Our relationship, suicidal thoughts overcome me and I began contemplating suicide and ended up taking a high dosage of Temazepam which did nothing more than make me sleepy, rather than the intended outcome.

When K found out that I had been having these thoughts, she took me aside and said that we should take a break from our relationship. I couldn't believe that I had heard those words come out of her mouth, I was devastated. She continued that she wasn't happy in our relationship and hadn't been happy for 3 months. K explained that she had been trying to make It work, however this is the first I had heard of it, she had not approached me earlier to work things through with her. I knew we were in trouble but not that she was that unhappy.*

I need K so much, she is my soul mate, and I think at this point in time as I begin another Antidepressant drug to replace the Aropax, I will need her even more. She is now cold towards me, very distant and won't discuss what is and has happened.

What can I do, I need her more now than ever. I understand she needs her space and time to work things out. But I can't loose her, she is my world...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's over, let it go. Stop taking prescription antidepressants and start smoking weed.

[smackie9]

Stay away from drugs! Drugs mess up your brain. Those antidepressants mess up the chemistry in your brain, that's why the affects are temporary. Get into a very healthy diet, exercise, loose weight, stop drinking, have a good dose of positive activities and good friends. A GF cannot give you a life, only you can give yourself one. You cannot depend on someone to give you happiness. Make the necessary lifestyle changes and there will be no need or very little need for drugs. Once you change and take better care of yourself you will improve your life and your relationships.