Ex boyfriend critically ill

[zonay]

My ex boyfriend was trying to contact me from a few days but I didn't answer his calls. Last night I came to know that he had a mild heart attack a week ago and his condition got worse in past 3 days so he is in Cardiac Care Unit. I have a lot of love and respect for him. And I'm shattered by this news. But I don't know what to do now. I got married 6 months ago. I still have extremely strong feelings for my ex and if I contacted him it will be too hard for me to simply cut off once again. My ex moved to another country so I can't visit him. We don't have mutual friends either who would convey my regards to him. The only way to know about his health is to call/sms him myself. But I'm afraid I won't be able to control my emotions and he is very much into me as well. Since our break up and my marriage he's been trying to contact me. So if I contact him now he might take it as a *permission* to call me in future which I can't allow. He is a heart patient now and I don't want to be rude with him. On the other hand I want to contact him because his heart problem could be very serious and God forbid he might not recover. I don't want to live with the guilt that I left the most loved person of my life alone in his misery. May God gives him swift recovery.
Any advice will be highly regarded.

[steviej]

Why did you marry someone else when you still had such deep feelings for your ex?

[MerryH]

You have your reasons for cutting him out of your life, and it's great that you can recognize that it would be a mistake to let him back in. So in that case, I think you should keep him out. Cutting someone out of your life is a final, definite thing. There's no flip-flopping.

Don't feel guilty.

[jb1111983]

Tell your husband about your ex's condition and ask him if he's fine with you calling your ex. If he's a nice man I'm sure your husband would approve of it since your ex is in such critical condition. He'd also appreciate you asking him first instead of you going ahead on your own. But never ever tell your husband you still have feelings for you ex. Don't let him ever know that your ex is the most loved man of your life or your marriage is in trouble. Instead tell him you're over your ex and that your husband is the love of your life. I know I'm telling you to be dishonest here but I hope in time you'll really love him even more than you loved your ex. I agree with steveij though that you shouldn't have married your husband when you still had strong feelings for your ex. I'm feeling sorry for your husband now. No man ever likes to be a second choice. No matter how much we love you we'd rather never see you again than live with you when we know you love someone else more than you love us.
I think you should contact your ex but only if your husband approves of it or for me it's cheating. Anything can happen to him. But make it very clear to him that you will not call him again and don't want him to ever contact you because you're happily married (really?) and don't want to lose your husband for anything. If your ex is a decent man he will never contact you without your approval. He'll just be happy that you cared for him enough to give him one last call.

[devonbrown]

I definitely agree to not hide it from your husband. Just send a text to your ex and say something like I heard you were ill and I wanted to let you know that I am praying for your safe and quick recovery. Don't get into a conversation, just a message. Or send him a get-well card. Let him know that you are thinking of him and want him to be healthy. But keep your distance if you can't control your emotions.

Good luck.