Gut feeling something is wrong

[DarkHelmet82]

I dont know whats wrong with me, but I have this gut feeling that something is going on with my girlfriend. In previous posts i have stated she has been under a lot of stress.. however, I just have a weird feeling in my gut that something is going on. I trust her but my gut never lies to me. I havent spoken to her in a couple days. Any advice on how I can handle this?

Do I just ignore my feelings? Do i say something? Am I just being paranoid and selfconscious (as usual?) I do tend to overanalyze but I am hardly ever wrong. Honest advice or input is apprciated. Thanks.

Edit: I am NOT taking it personal, or assuming. Its just a feeling I have deep down, and not sure how to handle it.

[Mathias]

How old are you? (serious question)

[Nicholas_V]

dating someone new can be challenging at the beginning - especially if they are significantly younger than you. Dating someone who's diagnosed bipolar must be really hard. Give it some time - maybe you're reading too much in this, maybe you're not. But don't beat yourself up and don't let the thoughts fill up your head - wait for things to get clearer. It's a learning curve.

[anothermatt]

Identify the problem: You need some sort of reassurance that everything is OK. Identify the solution: Ask for some sort of reassurance that everything is OK.

That's what I'd do. "Hey, babe, I've got a feeling something is wrong. No, it's nothing you did; it's just a feeling. I don't know why I have it. I'm just telling you that I do, and I need to talk to you about it. I'm not asking you to do anything, really, just know that I feel that way and try to be understanding about it."

[DarkHelmet82]

mathias I am 28 she is 23...
Yeah i think the bipolar may contribute to the weirdness.. I am OK with it, i think ill take your advice in anotehr post and maybe buy a book on it.
Matt.. heres the issue.. I have done that and If i keep saying it it makes me look insecure, needy, and selfconcious. I want to be there for her.. but I think at this point its up to her to tell me no?

[DarkHelmet82]

also i dont have any real reasons for having a gut feeling.. its just one of those things.... hard to explain

[Nicholas_V]

go out for a walk or do some physical activity (other than sex, that is) - it will probably take these thoughts away for a while, and it will certainly make you feel better

[Dune]

What's your gut telling you?

Something's bothering her? - Then is it because of you or not? Recalled doing anything that would've made her tick? Girls are notorious for noticing something we don't even think twice about.

[Mathias]

mathias I am 28 she is 23...
Yeah i think the bipolar may contribute to the weirdness.. I am OK with it, i think ill take your advice in anotehr post and maybe buy a book on it.
Matt.. heres the issue.. I have done that and If i keep saying it it makes me look insecure, needy, and selfconcious. I want to be there for her.. but I think at this point its up to her to tell me no?

Completely agree with you here. If you ask her, it's going to drive her away.

You need to work through this one yourself, unfortunately.

[DarkHelmet82]

my gut is just telling me something is up.. could be she wants to end the relationship, could be she still has feelings for her ex (which we talked about a little bit and said she didnt), maybe none of the above.
I didnt really do or say anything out of the ordinary, so I dont see how i could be the cause of her acting this way.. but that doesnt mean much. Im trying to stay cool, I am the type of person who has a hard time dealing with unknowns... not sure why.
like I said I am not taking it personally.. I just wish I could do something thats all

[Cinnabella]

How is she acting?

[devonbrown]

Since your gut can not specify what the problem is, there is not much you can really do. Base your actions on her actions and your communication with her. Otherwise, you may wind up breaking up with her over indigestion.

Good luck.

[DarkHelmet82]

How is she acting?

somewhat distant, and very quiet.

I feel like she wants to end it.. but thats just paranioa... nothing based on that except a gut.. lol

[jb1111983]

Our gut feelings a lot of times can be right but not always. It would be unwise to make an assumption and come to conclusion based on your gut feeling alone. Just stick around her and reassure her that you're there for her if she needs you. She sounds like really stressed out over something and will appreciate you being considerate and understanding about her situation.

[Horseyguy]

Mate I have been there so many times with Karen I have lost count of the times I've sat here trying to figure out what's going on. I've never been with someone that blows so hot and cold but all the second guessing was just doing my head in (as you know)

Way I broke the cycle was to just let it go, focus on me and what I'm doing, I'm there for her if she wants me but outside of that I just live my life, focus on my work, catch up with my friends etc when I'm not seeing her

Finally figured the realtionship was going to end the way I was carrying on, I was being insecure and based on the way she was being I guess that was understandable but the reality is nothing was wrong, that's just the way she is!!!

Sometimes I don't hear from her for a couple of days but I've learned to accept that and now I don't feel insecure about the relationship

You can act on your gut but I suspect that's just going to force the issue and if things are rocky it might force it into the too hard basket for her, I'd be stepping back from it, give her some space, keep the contact going and just try and have a good time when you are together

Once her shooling is out of the way she might be in a better space and will see the relationship as a positive thing and you can work with that, but if she's stressed out at the moment any negativity that's being generated by the relationship this early in the game could be a problem

If you know you have done nothing wrong then stay cool, let it run for now and try and sort it out when she's in a better place than she is now, in the meantime try and have some fun, don't dwell on this and try not do let it do your head in

Bottom line is it will either fix itself or it wont but if you try and force a fix and she's not in the right space it might backfire