I do not want to break her heart.

[JackHawaii]

This morning as I hear the birds singing, the Hawaii water happily crashing upon the shore and the laughter of those early morning joggers, I sit here confused and very sad. I have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for 1 whole year now. I fell completely head over heels for this girl at the beginning of our relationship, I even thought about marrying her and having kids. She was there for me every single day for 6 months when I got deployed and that is something great! However, being in a long-distance relationship can be like a mirage...

When you are in a long-distance relationship and you have never really "lived" with that person for more than 5-7 days, it can be an eye opener once you decide to move in with each other. This happened to me. From a long-distance relationship standpoint, I felt like she was absolutely perfect. She was beautiful, smart, creative and very caring to me so I decided to fly her out here and live with me for 4 months. It is sad that the more I got to know her, the more I realized that even though I love her, I cannot marry this person. Even though we have had many wonderful memories together during that 4 month time, I remember on many many occasions telling my self, "I dont need this sh**!, I cannot wait until she leaves".

This is why I am so sad this morning, I love her but I have to break it off.

I feel SO bad because even though her and I talked about our concerns with our relationship, I decided to "fake" it for the remainder of the 4 months so that it would not be a living nightmare. She is now flying home and I have to face the music.... I have to break up with her when she gets home without shattering her heart. Even though we have had our troubles, on the inside she is a sweet girl. The timing was not right I guess you can say. I am having apprehensions to break up with her because I do not want to hurt her.

Please help me.

[devonbrown]

She is going to be hurt no matter what, no way around that. You led her on instead of telling her that you wanted out when you figured it out. You took the easy way by "faking" it for the 4 months she was there.
Now, you decide since she is leaving it will be easy for you to end it with her. And you decide to take the coward's way AGAIN and wait for her to get home and THEN break up with her.

You don't care about this girl at all, you only care about yourself. Be a man and break up with her before she leaves and let her know what a chicken you are.

Good luck.

[HeartIsAching]

You should've done it before she left.

That said, do it as soon as possible, do it in the most personal way possible - phone. Don't text, don't email, CALL her and have a personal contact when you do it.

Don't pussyfoot around - tell her the truth, it'll hurt less than making some stuff up. Tell her why.