general opinions needed for a friendddd please :P

[Rhainnonxx]

okay so a friend of mine and her boyfriend broke up for a few months but than got back together, in the time that they were broken up he dated a lot of girls and had sex with some of them, she loves they guy and wants to stay with him but she doesnt know how to get over what he has done, and i dont really know how to help her. in my opinion the fact is that they were broken up and she could have done it too but didnt and that was her choice.... i completely understand how hurt she is, and she said that she doesnt hate him and isnt mad at him but it hurts and she cant stop thinking about it and it kills her inside. idk how to help her or what to tell her. i mean they were broken up and its so obvious that the girls were all nothing to him and he was trying to drown the pain, so i want to tell her to just get over it cuz there is nothing either of them can do, other than him try and make her feel safe and loved and earn her trust back, and it seems like he is willing to do that. i think its just that she thinks about it and it makes her sick and she cant get over it and that he has been with other girls. any advice to help her get over it would be much appreciated!!! thank you

[Layna]

Funny, I guess I'm in your friend's position minus the getting back together, although that might be in the cards in the future and I have thought many times about what it would like be. And I completely understand her. From my point of view, there would be three issues - 1. is he going to do this again? 2. does he want ME or is this just convenient again, am I really special at all? 3. did I ever mean that much to him if he could 'replace' me that quickly?
And these three things I think are very, very hard to get out of your head. I could easily imagine that they pop up again out of nowhere even months down the line. Of course they were broken up but it hurts a lot all the same and I guess that third question will be very much on her mind. But like you say, the only thing that can be done is for him to earn her trust back and make her feel loved, and for her to work on it as well by not going over it all the time. There isn't really anything else that can be done.

[Rhainnonxx]

Layna:
Exactly! its like i totally get it and how bad she is hurt and i wanna help her so bad, but the only thing that can fix it is time and effort, which is one of the hardest things to have faith in because there is always the fear that she wont ever be able to forget it, but if couples can make it through cheating im sure they can make it through this, i feel that right now i just need to support her and help her get her strength and confidence back because she has to see that none of those girls even hold a candle to her. her boyfriend even told me that he never made love to those girls it was only sex, and it was only to fill a void, and that she is the only girl he has ever made love to and would ever make love to. i wish i could help her more but thats up to him to make her see that and all i can do is keep convincing her to give it time and it will heal eventually.

[Layna]

Yes, from your side, that is the only thing you can do - reassure, reassure, reassure, and maybe get a little 'harsher' on her if she's giving him too hard of a time. It'll probably get quite repetitive hahah. :p But it's great you're so supportive, I don't know what people would do without their friends

[Rhainnonxx]

yeah im afraid she is gonna keep hashing out with him and beating him up over it, and push him away beacuse it will be too much for him because he is already beating himself up and if she does too much on top of that, i just hope he treats her right this time.