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Thread: When to tell boyfriend about my visual disability?

  1. #1
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    When to tell boyfriend about my visual disability?

    I can't see at night although I can see Ok during the day. A doctor made a mistake during my LASIK surgery. This means I can't really date at night or go to night clubs. I can see indoors at night though. And I can see perfectly during the day. When do you think I should tell him to explain why I can only go out during the day? Will he run away as fast as he can? Will I forever be doomed to be alone.

  2. #2
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    One of my best friends has a very similar disability-she was born with the condition though and she can't go out on her own at night because she only sees shadows at best, although during the day she is able to go out on her own (in familiar places mostly). Her condition is genetic, incurable and could lead to blindness as the years go by. This never stopped her from dating and eventually getting married to a wonderful guy who really loves her, understands her condition and takes care of her in a way that does not make her feel bad about herself. She was of course very self-conscious when going on dates and always dreaded telling the guys about her illness.

    She would go on dates during the day and explain her condition to them from the very beginning. There were guys who never called again but there were also guys who did. You are not doomed to be alone and my friend (who suffered from very low self-esteem because of her illness) was not either! Truth be told: the guys who are worth it will empathise and won't be put off by your disability.The guys who only want an easy ride wont call again but would you want them to? The point is that having a disability of any kind should not make you feel that you are a lesser person: you can and will find love as long as you love yourself and do not allow your disability to rule your life. Good luck! :-)

  3. #3
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    I don't see why it'd be much of a hindrance.

    If you were dishonest about it and I found out, I'd probably not call back. Tell 'em up front.

  4. #4
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    I have night blindness- no driving at night whatsoever. I've never had a problem with dates- I meet them, at first, during the day then if we go out at night, he picks me up and drives. Not a problem.

    Tell him up front. I don't see it as being a big issue.
    If you carry old bricks from your past relationship to your new one,
    you will build the same house that fell apart before.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    When was the last time you did something for the first time?

  5. #5
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    Personally i would advise being straight up from the beginning and telling them this way you weed out the waste of time guys and the real possibility ones, you have nothing to be ashamed of this was done to you.
    Keep yourself surrounded by genuine people and fakers who run screaming dont deserve a second thought.Some men already assume women are liars bla bla blah and some are, dont screw up a possible by keeping it secret you are who you are nothing should deter that from you.
    A mistake is always forgivable, rarely excusable and always unacceptable.
    Robert Fripp

  6. #6
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    Tell him after you get the teeth pulled from your small weird vagina.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by PainfulLonging View Post
    When do you think I should tell him to explain why I can only go out during the day? Will he run away as fast as he can?
    When ever you want. I don't see why he would run away.
    You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    Tell him after you get the teeth pulled from your small weird vagina.
    Didn't realize who the OP was until you posted this!!!
    If you carry old bricks from your past relationship to your new one,
    you will build the same house that fell apart before.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    When was the last time you did something for the first time?

  9. #9
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    It seems like something that you would want to address even before being official boyfriend/girlfriend. Especially if because of it you change your habit. He might start wondering why you never want to go out at night. I dated a girl that just didn't feel comfortable driving at night (don't know if it was a medical condition or just a fear), so I drove everywhere and it was no big deal.

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