not attracted to me anymore?

[irishsweetheart]

my fiance and i have been together for two years, our wedding is set to take place in june 2012.
lately our sex life is very lacking, probably averaging out at once every two weeks. it has slowly went from at least once a day(when we first met) 3 or 4 times a week .....ect to what it is now. last year our relationship was a bit tumultuous and we broke up for a month and i moved. he got out of the military and moved to be closer to me. i will admit i gained a few pounds after i moved, i have a thyroid condition. im at work alot and i have kids we live together.he seems happy however i have needs that i want to fulfill and he seems like he would rather do anything else but make love. im to the point where it is making me very depressed. i am at a loss for what to do. please help

[MerryH]

Have you talked to him about it?

[DonJuanInc]

Well, I can see why there aren't any replies yet... touchy subject. I will be as honest as possible while being constructive:

If you admit you gained a few pounds, you've probably gained more than a few pounds. I have also yet to meet a person who puts on weight that doesn't have a thyroid condition - I'm not saying you don't legitimately have one, but if you do, do your best to seek medical help for it. Have you changed any behaviours, eating patterns, exercise routines or anything that would cause you to gain weight?

Based off of your story here, and please keep in mind forum length posts are hardly enough to give an accurate diagnosis of relationship issues: I would say it's a combination of a change in your physical appearance from putting on weight, and a decrease in your emotional vitality from feeling down on yourself due to the issues you're going through, plus the stresses and responsibilities of work and raising children.

If it's at the point where you're on an online forum asking for advice, you should definitely bring this up with him if you haven't yet. Don't let him give you excuses - when you love and are attracted to a woman there is ALWAYS time for sex. If you have young children it can be difficult, so keep in mind those type of obstacles are definitely a factor, but not a reason for letting your sex life go to shit.

[irishsweetheart]

have tried a bit....but the convo doesnt get very far before he brushes it off as a minor issue or we get interrupted by kids or something else

[irishsweetheart]

its def a legit condition, i have been to the doctor i used to have hyperthyroid and i could eat whatever i wanted , now i have hypothyroid which has made me gain weight and i have been trying to lose by healthy diet and exercise to little or no avail. im not obese or anything by anymeans lol but im about 15lbs over weight for my height and build

[bulrush]

We need your ages to even have a clue what is wrong.

i will admit i gained a few pounds after i moved, i have a thyroid condition.

How does a thyroid condition prevent you from exercising? If you say you gained "a few" pounds, that means you gained a lot more than a few.

have tried [talking to him] a bit....but the convo doesnt get very far before he brushes it off as a minor issue or we get interrupted by kids or something else

You let the convo get interrupted. Set things up so you two won't get interrupted. Be more proactive. Send the kids to a neighbor's or relative's house for 2 hours. Then have your conversation in a private place. If he's having ED troubles, many men are embarassed to talk about it. They never used to have trouble getting a boner, now they do, and it's a VERY big change to them, which is hard to deal with. You need to just ask him if he has trouble getting an erection, or if his libido is zero. Make sure you say you love him and accept him even if he is having problems.

Heavy exercise will help libido (I'm there myself). Meds can help ED.

[irishsweetheart]

he is 32 i am 27. i talked to him today he said that he doesnt know what is wrong he just isnt ever in the mood anymore, he said that it wasnt me and he thinks something may be wrong with him. idk what to do.....

[Cerby]

If he thinks it something wrong with him, then ask him what his plan is to identify and address the problem is.