Fetish's (whats normal, what isnt?)

[alexandraboo]

I love my boyfriend very very much and I love him for him. I try very hard to accept him sexually and I do for the most part. I have mixed feelings most times since he has opened up to me about why our sex life has been so awkward and boring our whole relationship, He has a fetish for mature women, not only that, but a fetish about a scenario of having sex with his mother (NOT HIS REAL MOTHER) just a woman in life that would be. He isnt attracted to his mother at all!! Its to the point that every time we have sex he thinks about me as his mother and an older woman. We have been together 2 years now, and this is just coming fully to light now. I have told him I accept it and that its no big deal. But the thought of my boyfriend this obsessed with something like this really gets to me, I think about it often and I am not sure what I can do to alleviate the bit of bad feelings about it I have left.
The obsession is a bit out of control I would say, If he has to think about it all the time, and look at porn about it all the time, I cant help but think when we are making love, that is what he is thinking of me. I was just wondering if there is any guys here with a strange fetish like this, and how harmful it can or is to a relationship. What is he thinking? He holds back a lot, I always thought he was very secretive, now I know why. He was petrified I wouldn't accept him. Don't get me wrong, I love him more than anything. He means the world to me, I just need to get over these ill feelings once and for all to better our relationship.
Do you think its unhealthy that he has to think about me being his Mom every time we have sex, not only that but an older women, I feel he is not even wanting me, just a body to act out his fantasies sometimes. It really hurts. He showed me the videos that turned him on, some older woman pretending to be his mommy in a video, touching herself and what not. He thinks it was a mistake to show me, I don't, because now I understand a little more, but Pleasee helpp, I need advice! and legit advice please, no criticism!
P.S I am not leaving him or giving up on him. He is my absolute lover, I really know I want to be with him for the rest of my life.
I just need something to calm my mind about it.

How normal is this type of fetish!?

[alexandraboo]

Also if any mods feel the need to move this to the intimate section I dont mind! Wouldnt mind ladies point of view either!

[James Banes]

Gross! That's not normal. He needs psychiatric help. There isn't a kinder way to put it.

[Mathias]

Gross! That's not normal. He needs psychiatric help. There isn't a kinder way to put it.

This isn't actually true.

It's definitely weird, but people have strange sexual fetishes. That doesn't mean he's mentally unstable.

As for advice here, he needs to take your feelings into account as well. Clearly you've bent a lot to what he needs and wants here. He should reciprocate and be with YOU intimately, rather than a mother figure all the time.

Certainly, you can help him out occasionally and do that for him, but not all the time.

[surfhb]

Either its his mother or not? Which is it?

[Mathias]

Either its his mother or not? Which is it?

She explained that pretty clearly. It's some sort of authoritative, older female that's not his mother.

[James Banes]

She explained that pretty clearly. It's some sort of authoritative, older female that's not his mother.

It's probable the dude is lying when he says he's not attracted to his mother. Having a mother fetish creeps most women out enough. So confiding about being sexually attracted to his mother would revolt most women. What kind of guy would admit he's attracted to his mom if it were true?

It's not merely an older woman fetish; nor is it merely a bossy woman fetish. It's a mom fetish. The fact that he regrets showing her the mommy porn says a lot too.

This guy needs psychiatric help.

[Mathias]

It's probable the dude is lying when he says he's not attracted to his mother. Having a mother fetish creeps most women out enough. So confiding about being sexually attracted to his mother would revolt most women. What kind of guy would admit he's attracted to his mom if it were true?

It's not merely an older woman fetish; nor is it merely a bossy woman fetish. It's a mom fetish. The fact that he regrets showing her the mommy porn says a lot too.

This guy needs psychiatric help.

Guys regret showing any porn to females.

You're throwing a lot of assumptions on this, and it's actually hurting the OP. Since you don't know the whole story, and don't know sexual psychology, you're just guessing - and it doesn't do any good here.

[surfhb]

She explained that pretty clearly. It's some sort of authoritative, older female that's not his mother.

LOL...no she didnt. wanted to have sex with your mother and a women who is old enough to be your mother are 2 different things.

a fetish about a scenario of having sex with his mother (NOT HIS REAL MOTHER) just a woman in life that would be

Hes fine.....totally normal.

[James Banes]

Guys regret showing any porn to females.

I'm pretty sure most guys wouldn't feel so bad about showing regular porn to females as they would porn involving mommy fantasies

You're throwing a lot of assumptions on this, and it's actually hurting the OP. Since you don't know the whole story, and don't know sexual psychology, you're just guessing - and it doesn't do any good here.

Don't people throw assumptions on every advice forum? Does anyone else know sexual psychology? Doesn't anyone else guess when it comes to the other threads?

Why is throwing assumptions and guessing okay in the other threads but not this one?

It's impossible for me to know the whole story. It's impossible to know the whole story in any of these threads because they only give the point of view from the OPs not their lovers. These threads are about dealing with the viewpoint of the OP. It doesn't hurt to give my opinion since she's not forced to agree with it. I cannot hurt a situation when I am not forcing my opinion on it.

I don't need to know sexual psychology to know fetishes like voyeurism, scat porn, and mommy porn are unhealthy. If it's an older woman fetish then that's okay. A thing for mommy fantasies is not okay.

[asdfg789]

if my female partner tells me she needs to imagine i'm her father to get turned on, i'll run away

[surfhb]

I don't need to know sexual psychology to know fetishes like voyeurism, scat porn, and mommy porn are unhealthy. If it's an older woman fetish then that's okay. A thing for mommy fantasies is not okay.

Respectfully.......Go **** yourself! If its between 2 consenting adults its perfectly healthy- for them. Talk about assumptions

[alexandraboo]

I respect all of your guy's opinions about it, he is not attracted to his own mother, he is more just imagining a fake scenario where another women is his mother. It is a LEGIT mommy fetish, which leads to him liking mommy looking older women that fit his fantasy. He has told me he feels its out of control, I told him he shouldnt beat himself up over it as he said he cant control it, it just turns him on he cant change it. He will refuse to go get help for it, he is to shameful, I am surprised I even heard about it, but I am glad I did, he was always so silent during making love to me that I was always worried about what I was doing wrong, if I was good enough and what not.... It wasnt that at all, it was that he was trying to play out his fantasy in his head. He says he thinks about it every time we make love. I know its unhealthy, but is it a common thing with men? I dont even think I have a fetish, other then to be with the man I love. I feel kinda betrayed, he wishes he could be with his fantasy woman (who is his mom in his fantasy) more then me, he just knows his fantasy is un-attainable. He realizes its nothing he can ever have, the most he has is me making a huge effort to role play and help him with his fantasy. And I do. I even watched the videos that he showed me are what turned him on the most, and I learned from it to role play for him good. I try very hard to turn him on and get his little fantasy stress out for him so he doesnt have to turn to porn as often to relieve it. He was an only child, with a single mother, his mother was a very loving protective mother. His father wasnt around and he was hurt about it. Every movie that has a sad son\father moment, he cries, but all the other sad parts he doesnt.

[alexandraboo]

I dont know if this would help make the situation a little clearer, but the videos he watches and watched are called mommy afton, if you google them they come up.

[alexandraboo]

It's probable the dude is lying when he says he's not attracted to his mother. Having a mother fetish creeps most women out enough. So confiding about being sexually attracted to his mother would revolt most women. What kind of guy would admit he's attracted to his mom if it were true?

It's not merely an older woman fetish; nor is it merely a bossy woman fetish. It's a mom fetish. The fact that he regrets showing her the mommy porn says a lot too.

This guy needs psychiatric help.

First of all, he is a sweet man, he cares for me so much and loves me more then anything. He is a great father, and he trusted me to not judge him. I think it says a lot, since most men suffering from the same issue would probably not come forward and tell their partner about it! You must have never had a chance to trust a woman like that before. Most men dont.