I am never the girl that guy wants to date...

[pepper]

Hi,

So I am never the girl the guy wants to date. This last guy would always try to hit on me and we even made out a few times. He told me later all he had was a physical attraction to me and nothing more. I always feel like guys never want to date me. Why is this?

[cruisectrl]

It's kind of hard to answer, as we don't know what you look like, or what your personality is like. But maybe the problem is, the type that goes after a girl like you is the shy type? Or possibly you aren't socializing in the same crowd where guys would be interested in you.
The thing is, most guys, probably 90%+ are terrified of asking girls out, but all girls just assume if a guy doesn't ask her out, he's not interested. Have you tried asking a guy YOU like out? I'm sure they would be happy to go out with you.

[pepper]

It's kind of hard to answer, as we don't know what you look like, or what your personality is like. But maybe the problem is, the type that goes after a girl like you is the shy type? Or possibly you aren't socializing in the same crowd where guys would be interested in you.
The thing is, most guys, probably 90%+ are terrified of asking girls out, but all girls just assume if a guy doesn't ask her out, he's not interested. Have you tried asking a guy YOU like out? I'm sure they would be happy to go out with you.

Hey thanks, but the last guy I liked told me he could never have feelings for me. He said he was only physically attracted to me and nothing more. We have stuff in common...and we got along great. He said we didn't have that spark. Yet he always tries to get physical with me.

[lindalinda]

pepper
Have your chins up!
Guys like confident girls.
I am sure there will be guys who like you.
Remember to smile a lot
Do not make out so soon with any guy who asks you out!

[pepper]

The last guy told me we had no intimate connection but he would always try to make out with me. I know there is a difference between physical attraction and emotional but we started hanging out again and we made out again. He told me he is scared of hurting me because he doesn't feel any romantic feelings for me. Do you think it would be too much to ask him to go on 1 date? I know it is forward but he says he cares about me, we have stuff in common and he is always trying to fool around with me? Maybe if he could see me in a romantic setting then he could see he does have feelings for me.

[Lulu]

I have a friend that was in this situation. She would hook up with this guy but their personalities were so different that no one imagined them together except her. She didn't take HERSELF seriously enough to expect respect- no backbone or feistiness about her. Not a challenge- a man wants a woman who will challenge him a little. Give him a hard time and call him out when he is acting like a punk @#$@! Girls that are TOO nice and easy going are boring..... that is the equivalent of "no spark".

[pepper]

I have a friend that was in this situation. She would hook up with this guy but their personalities were so different that no one imagined them together except her. She didn't take HERSELF seriously enough to expect respect- no backbone or feistiness about her. Not a challenge- a man wants a woman who will challenge him a little. Give him a hard time and call him out when he is acting like a punk @#$@! Girls that are TOO nice and easy going are boring..... that is the equivalent of "no spark".

So do you think it would be a good idea to suggest going on a date? We have known of each other since middle school (we're 24 now). So we could have fixed ideas of who we are. I really think if he saw me in a different setting he might see me differently (I was a bit of a dork in high school). we do have a lot in common and our personalities do go well together....and no I am not crazy for thinking this.

[cruisectrl]

I would say no, it sounds like he doesn't want you for you. Even if it does work out in the short time, it won't in the long term.

[sadie_genie]

You are generalizing. Maybe you met one guy or just a few who doesn't want to date you and then you assume, there is essentially something wrong with you. That is wrong. Just because one or a few guys aren't interested (maybe because of bad luck or you are hanging out with the wrong crowd), doesn't mean guys in general don't want to date you.