Rebound reaction or real feelings?

[countrygirl08]

I recently got dumped by a guy that I really really liked and I know that I'm not over it. My problem right now is I keep dreaming and thinking about a friend of mine. This friend and I have a very unusual relationship. Unusual in the sense that although we never dated he and I have been very much more than "just friends" in the past. He was also the first person to truly break my heart because there was a time when I really wanted to be with him but he just wanted to stay friends. I accepted that and after giving myself time to heal, he and I started being friends again. And that's all we've been for almost a year. He was dating someone and so was I. Our strict friendship has been and is an amazing thing. We are super close and get along great. We have not let our actions in the past interfere with our now great friendship. He is one of the most important people to me. But now since I got dumped by my boyfriend I keep thinking about my friend in a romantic way again. This bothers me because I know that my friend and I are so much better as friends and I really don't want to go down that road with him again. But part of me does. And I'm wondering, is this just normal rebound talking or am I not as over wanting more than friendship with my friend as I think I am?

[The Chief]

This sounds to me like rebound feelings coming around. You said it yourself that you are better as just friends. And in my experience, going backwards is usually never a good thing. You are just hurt and want to avoid the hurt feelings by feeling loved by your friend. You should avoid that. You need to get over the feelings of the breakup first. Allow yourself to mourn the loss of the relationship, but not for too long. Be sad, cry, listen to sad songs. But don't let that go past a week or two. After that, start involving yourself in activities. Go out with friends. Go to the gym (A HUGE help when feeling down or depressed), pick up a hobby. Basically do anything that will get you out of the house and your mind off the loss. It's the healthiest way to work past it. If the chance is there, have a fling. but DO NOT have a fling with someone who is a really good friend. It can only lead to trouble.

Good luck!