Should I Worry?

[Saga]

My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. Whenever we hang out, we have a great time together. I feel like he's into me when we're together, but when we're not, sometimes I wonder. These are a few reasons:

He is an only child. His mother is disabled and single and relies on him to take her everywhere. His grandmother also relies on him. This often interferes with our plans- they'll ask to be picked up or taken somewhere when we're supposed to go out and they really could wait until another time, so our relationship is based around his families wishes since he never tells them no, or at least asks to reschedule. I'm also never invited to family events at his grandmother's, and she did lose her husband last fall, and his mom, aunt, and uncle are all single so maybe they just want it to be a family thing? I don't know.

During his finals (this semester and last) he went an entire month without seeing me because he said he had procrastinated and had so much work to catch up on. We live 20 minutes away from each other...and I understood the situation and offered to even bring him lunch a few times to spend time together and he STILL insisted he was too busy. He's got 3 more years of school and I'm not sure I can handle this annual Nov-Dec/April busy-ness. I understand studying is important but you've got to take a break at some point!

Due to his family, he doesn't hang out with friends often, but over the course of 8 months I have only been out with his friends once. He mostly has female friends, which, well I mean of course I'd prefer they were guys, but I can't change that. I would at least like to meet them. He told me one of these friends asked him to plan a get-together for her birthday, and I asked if I was invited or it was just a thing with his high school friends. He said "well, it's her birthday, and she's picking all the people, so, you know." But if she asked him to plan it, I'd think I could still go, especially since this girl has a bf. But I didn't push it. He'd told me he couldn't get everyone together so they weren't going to do it. Then I saw (through facebook, of course) that he'd gone to a movie with the girl, her bf, and another female friend. I'm not sure if anyone else was there- that's all who was tagged.

If you're curious, yes, we are exclusive, and no, we're not having sex, although I'm definitely eager. We both live at home, and he's "not allowed" to spend the night with me (he's 22 btw...yeah) so that brings up new issues. I don't know. I like him but I'm just not sure about some things. What do you think?

[TeeJay19]

It doesn't seem like your relationship is a very high priority for him. You're not asking for anything unreasonable, just to be able to hang out with your boyfriend on a regular basis and get to know his friends and family. Seems like family, school and friends are more important to him though. That's fine if you're both on the same page, but it's pretty obvious you're not. You should talk to him about your concerns and ask him how serious he is about your relationship. If he's not willing to give you the attention you want then I'd find someone who is, you'll be much happier.

Also, 22 years old and he's "not allowed" to spend the night with you? He's 22 and he's allowed to do whatever he wants. I can't believe he puts up with that. He sounds like a bit of a doormat to me, and a mama's boy.

[JamesWS]

Thanks for your post.