did i cross the ine bad...

[rds91]

hey ladys so i had a poor convo. with the girl i was dating. she is gone now due to the convo and i wanna know if i was far accross the line or i did what had to be done.

The situation: she had a BF that she fought all the time with and was ready to dump, i appeard and alwas put a smile on her face so she left him and we started to hang out. to make it clear i never forced them appart it was over and i was there at the same time.

so we started to hang out every day for a month we had sex 3 times and once was on the first date a week into hanging out. it was made very clear we were working for a relation ship, it started to go wrong when i took her out for dinner about 3 weeks into hanging out. dinner went well we talked had a nice time and i said i wanna go relax and watch a movie or chill some were me and you, she said she was gunna go talk to her ex and give him his stuff back, i was furious abut the fact i got ditched after a date for her ex but they are still "friends" and talk. i told her the next day i dont have a problum with you talking to him cuz i wish i could talk to my ex but what ever.

issue 2. all her friends are guys and they are close friend but what bugged me about this was week 4 i take her out for dinner and after that she told me she is gunna watch tv with her guy friend, he spent the night they slept on the couches i was OKAY with that, few days later same thing but she let it slip more friends were at her place on the couches, so he slept in her bed with her!!!!

resolution: the convo was i feel second place to your friend you say we are working for a relationship, but i have a problum with other guys in your bed... i was told she is all mine by her the second week we dated. i cant tell if i crossed the line or if she had a diffrent idea if it is ok to be in a sexual relationship and have other guys in her bed, being a guy if im in a sexual relationship with one girl friend or not no other girl will ever sleep in my bed with me.

now i dont want her but i guess i need to find out how to resolve this kind of situation without killing a relation ship with a girl i cair about, how do i bring it up. do i just say i have a problum with other guys in our bed is i obviouly do or do girls see what she did as a clear relation ship no no.

[dreamer_piscean]

now i dont want her but i guess i need to find out how to resolve this kind of situation without killing a relation ship with a girl i cair about, how do i bring it up. do i just say i have a problum with other guys in our bed is i obviouly do or do girls see what she did as a clear relation ship no no.

To me, i think this is a 'respect' issue you are dealing with. If your gf let other guys onto her bed, and she doesn't think there is any problem with it, just walk away from her. If she really is someone u care about, tried talk to her by telling her your feelings and you don't feel good about her doing that to you. Also can tell her what would she think if you did that to her? If she really care and loves you, she would stop doing that, if she doesn't, you have the answer already. She is the one that kills the relationship, not you.

[countingtoten]

if you are in a relationship with someone, or in the beginning of a relationship with someone, you don't share a bed with anther guy. regardless. i think that this girl is trying to make her self esteem feel better after a breakup. walk away from her. the fact she jumped from ne relationship straight into another is not really the best if signs either.

[rds91]

I already have walked away but I feel used lol. You are correct tho it is a respect issue I'm dealing with. Im mad at myself cuz I belived what she said and she blamed me calling me insecure and if I did my job right it wouldent be the case. What she ment by that I have no idea but it stuck with me . We never fought and she can't tell me any thing I did wrong. I'm glad that it's not somthing normal for girls to do.

[smackie9]

She is just clueless. She thinks she can still keep things the same like when she was single while in a relationship. There has to be relationship boundaries, and accommodations have to be made when sharing your life with someone....and yes like the other poster said, it all comes down to respect. Good thing things didn't work out bc she is a twit. Also to note, stop chasing girls that are in relationships.....saying it's ok to date them because they have problems with their BF is no excuse.....it says a lot about a person that is willing to cheat. Use better judgement next time.

[rds91]

altho true there was a title that relation ship was over a long long long time ago. my intentions were to be friends from day one cuz that title was there and what happend was is she fought with him every day and i was always with her and her friends, she asked me for advice, and started to tell me very personal things about her life. the bigest problum for mer is i think it was a rebound for my self as i did somthing i said i would never do and that is have sex without having her as my gf. clearly this was one massive bad idea from the start but it helped me move past my ex, somthing i have been working on for over a full year.

your right tho smakie some poor judgement was used in this. at very first i asked her out and she said NO i have a BF but then after spending time with her friends never just her. she broke up with him and came over to me.

[Wakeup]

altho true there was a title that relation ship was over a long long long time ago.

As long as she is still with him, hasn't broken up with him, then it is still a relationship that she is in. How crappy the relationship does not mean it is "over" in the sense that you are taking it.
The very fact that she stays when it is so crappy is a sign of codependency.. which should be a red flag about her that you didn't heed.

my intentions were to be friends from day one cuz that title was there and what happend was is she fought with him every day and i was always with her and her friends, she asked me for advice, and started to tell me very personal things about her life.

I suggest in future that you stop women who are in relationships from using you as their emotional tampon and bestest FEMALE friend. Advise them to have that discussion with their bf and if they can't resolve it, then she should get the gurl ballzzz to leave the dude.

the bigest problum for mer is i think it was a rebound for my self as i did somthing i said i would never do and that is have sex without having her as my gf. clearly this was one massive bad idea from the start

As you've learned

but it helped me move past my ex, somthing i have been working on for over a full year.

So? Now instead of having your ex in your head, you now have this new girl in your head and you're confused and hurt about what happened with her. When you rebound like you did, it doesn't help you at all because you fail to see the red flags in the new person you are pusuing so you end up repeating history.

your right tho smakie some poor judgement was used in this. at very first i asked her out and she said NO i have a BF but then after spending time with her friends never just her. she broke up with him and came over to me.

Now she is rebounding. Have you googled "Rebound Relationship" so you know what doing that usually means to one, or the other, or both of you?

[rds91]

Thanks the reply upon dying that this rebound would end up putting me is the same spot I was I would disagree with as my first gf. Ended on a positive not as she put it. I dissagred with this because I did nothing wrong to her at any point and she just moved on and I had to live with the face I lost some one I Cair about and always did as the only thing is did me wrong by was leaving me with no reason she could give me. This one is easy to get passed as she did me wrong and I can see that so I was over with it that day for th most part.

[rds91]

Sorry I'm on my phone replying to every thing and it is auto correcting everything Wrong