Confused; as per usual.

[Twin flame]

Hey All,

I will try and keep this quick and just look to people for their thoughts; which would be greatly appreciated.

A long story cut short;

I was dating a girl for about 8 months and we fell so deeply in love, so much so it scared me that I could feel so deeply for another human being. She had words inked into her skin that she said were in reference to me (but could have been for her brother who passed away).
I was totally shocked by how I felt for her, the depth and strength were over whelming and confusing. When we kissed time stood still, I wanted to become one person with her. You may think I am crazy but I could often sense her from far away and she would comment on my ability to tell her what she was thinking. These may or may not be normal feelings but the depth and strength were new to me and I am no spring chicken.

My confusion surrounding my feelings meant I kept pushing her away time and time again and she got fed up and ended it just less than two months ago. By pushing her away I meant just keeping distance, I was never disrespectful I just let too much distance come between us. That is what I think ultimately led her to decide on wanting to be away from me and I totally understand why.

I knew the end was coming and I declared my love to her but by then it was too late; the break had to happen. Which I now understand and again I have totally respected the fact she asked me to step back from her life and I have.

Since she ended the relationship she has contacted me at least 4 times via text & email but all just lame reasons, like asking when we were last intimate as she is having surgery and the docs wanted to know (eh?) and then for her “how to deal with epilepsy” card back (which I posted).

We met up about 3 weeks ago she had borrowed an item of my clothing that was a gift from my mum so I wanted it back, she had covered the jumper in her scent (I now know this was a huge mistake ). I kept the talk light and asked how she was doing and her family was etc… but right there and then I fell back in love with her. She bit her lip when I teased her and was very playful in her body language as she always was, the people and sounds in the park slowly disappeared until there were just us and again time stood still which it always has done when we are together.

I was very strong and I made my excuses and left after about 15 minutes. The last thing I asked was “do you have anything you want to say or do before I go this could be the last time we meet” she just said “don’t say things like that”.

I had to call to the local supermarket where she came and followed me around the store where we chatted and again we said goodbye.

She has texted and emailed me three times since we met and the most recent being a few days ago from an old email address we set up together to share our thoughts and feelings to each other. She titled the email “Do you ever come here?” It was obvious to me to get me to read all our old thoughts and feelings.

My sister says to truly know if she loves me I should wait it out and see if she comes to my door as everything she sent is just fluff; any old reason to contact me; nothing I can go on to know her feelings.

I have to be careful with my own well-being as my sister says she could be curing herself by contacting me (What makes you bad makes you better).

Well after all that I wanted to know what your thoughts are on why she is still contacting me?

I have respected her decision to end things and I am dusting myself of and trying to moveg on but this is just confusing me as my feelings are so very strong for her.

So I tried to keep it short and failed miserably

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps she's not getting attention from anyone else so she's picking on you. Perhaps she's trying to get a reaction from you. Hard to tell.

[deannam]

I will be honest with you - if you felt so strongly for her, why did you push her away? Women don't like this...I'm not surprised she left. I would have done the same.

You have to close this door now. It's for the best. Learn from your experience for the next time. If you like someone, do not push her away. Life is short. Don't overdramatize the connection, either. Yes, you had an amazing connection, but there are other amazing ones out there too...they will come to you, and this time you will know how to act.

[Twin flame]

Perhaps she's not getting attention from anyone else so she's picking on you. Perhaps she's trying to get a reaction from you. Hard to tell.

My sister says just to sit it out and see where she goes; the messages have given very little away. If she contacts me again I will ask her to stop doing it.

[Twin flame]

I will be honest with you - if you felt so strongly for her, why did you push her away? Women don't like this...I'm not surprised she left. I would have done the same.

You have to close this door now. It's for the best. Learn from your experience for the next time. If you like someone, do not push her away. Life is short. Don't overdramatize the connection, either. Yes, you had an amazing connection, but there are other amazing ones out there too...they will come to you, and this time you will know how to act.

Thank you for the response,

I was totally thrown off by my feelings; trying to understand them and in doing so I wanted too much space. There were other things in her life which made me want to keep my distance to keep us both safe (her ex).

I have learnt so much and I have accepted my mistakes in this and I have learnt a very valuable and painful lesson. I am trying to close the door; I accepted and respected her decision and not once have i contacted her since she asked me to step back from her life.

She has contacted me on at least 5 occasions now and it’s not allowing me to grieve properly and move on. I still love her so dearly but I won’t force my emotions on to her; she knows how I feel.

I am just trying to understand why she keeps contacting me.