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Thread: Am i wasting my time?

  1. #1
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    Am i wasting my time?

    Ill try to keep this short, so if theres any thing i didnt address ask,im new to this haha. So i saw my friends cousin at his wedding and the next day asked who she was, he gave me her name and i added her on facebook. After a month of trying to frow the balls to ask her out i finally sent her a message. She said yes and we planed a double date with her cousin and wife the following week. We texed everyday till the date,she would text me first somedays and others i would text her, not one sidded. The date went great(dinner,movie(held hands) lots of fun and laughs and ended with a kiss.After the date the texting became one sidded, she never texted first, and her texts became more "bland" you could say but still a conversation.Then after a few no responses over a period of days i quit all together and thought she want into it i guess.

    A month goes by of no talking and all of a sudden i get a text from her saying "hey! sorry i havent texed you in awhile, ive been crazy busy,How are you?" We talked, the i addessed how i didnt think she was into it bacuse of the no reponses, she said no thats not it, she was just busy.So we go out again,jst us two, and have a great time, and it ends with a hug and a kiss, which she intionated. Now it seems the texts are one sidded again and a few no responses, we also made plans a week after the 2nd date to got to the steelers game,which i already got the tickets for.am i wasting my time?

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    Nah, you're not in a relationship, so there is no implied communication. Take her to the date, and start working toward seeing her a bit more frequently. If you're "official" and still don't feel like she is communicating with you, then bury it.

    No communication for a month after the first date isn't a good sign, she might have been busy, or trying to work something out with someone else. It isn't important, you can either try, or not try, you choice.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  3. #3
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    Am i wasting my time?
    It's not clear yet but I'm thinking she may be. Why do you keep texting her to have a conversation instead of just asking her out for more one-on-one getting to know you? I'd be bored if someone kept wanting to just chat through the written word after I'd already met with them twice. Have you tried asking her to something else before the Steelers game comes around? Try that (if you haven't already) and step up the kiss/hug at the end of the date to more kissing during the date. If she isn't responding to you then I'd say yes, you're wasting your time.

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    In her defense she does work 2 jobs. Its just confusing to me. And she lives a hour away.Keep the advise coming thanks!!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeepzcb09 View Post
    In her defense she does work 2 jobs. Its just confusing to me. Keep the advise coming thanks!!
    Well if she doesn't have time to be with you then I'd say yes, you're definately wasting your time.

  6. #6
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    Not necessarily. It sounds like she prefers you to be the initiator, which is the traditional male role, but you prefer a more balanced approach. Some women like to feel flattered by male attention. And honestly so many males are very aggressive, that women get used to not having to do much. If you are interested in her, it is a positive sign that she texted you first after a month, and also that she initiated a hug and a kiss. I think this is the 'green light' that some women talk about on here, so it is up to you to keep the energy going. As for texting, I have found them to be more useful just to send them from time to time to keep you on her mind, and not expect much if anything in return. The occasional phone call is usually a good idea, even if you just leave a message.

  7. #7
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    UPDATE! she invited me to a family function on thursday,cousins b day party. It went really well we hung out on the couch and watched a movie and talked, nothing serious though.We were holding hands and sitting pretty close, i guess you could say half assed "snuggiling" up to each other lol.The night ended with another hug and kiss.Should my next move to be to tell her how im starting to feel about her? Is it too soon? She is coming over to my place for the first time next week for a movie night.

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    Hug and a kiss. Wow. Keep going at this speed and by 2015 you might even have got to the stage of seeing each other naked.

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    thanks for the advise buddy

  10. #10
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    My advice is don't read too far into it - assume when she says yes to another date that she wants to go on that date with you.. and go on the date with her. Take your cues from how she acts when she is around you, not when you're apart.

    Could be she's seeing another guy or two and not sure who to choose, so she doesn't want to get too involved until she's had more time to get to know you or them - if that's the case, it's not your business. If it turns into a relationship and it still seems one sided, that's when it's time to talk to her about how it makes you feel. Until then, you'll seem clingy if you act hurt about her not texting you all the time.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeepzcb09 View Post
    UPDATE! she invited me to a family function on thursday,cousins b day party. It went really well we hung out on the couch and watched a movie and talked, nothing serious though.We were holding hands and sitting pretty close, i guess you could say half assed "snuggiling" up to each other lol.The night ended with another hug and kiss.Should my next move to be to tell her how im starting to feel about her? Is it too soon? She is coming over to my place for the first time next week for a movie night.
    Do you have any idea how she feels about you? If the answer to that question is "no" then fur chrsssakes, don't be telling her your feelings. Besides: you've not seen her enough to actually know that you're anything other than you like her company or that you're somewhat infatuated with her. She knows you at least like her or you wouldn't keep asking to be with her. Leave it at that for now until you see some "feelings" from her. You'll scare her off if you start confessing premature tinglies.

  12. #12
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    /how old are you guys?
    you are the guy is your job to make her crazy about you and stuff,

    you r to lay-back. and act like its her job to make you crazy about her.

    maybe she is not really interested anymore,

  13. #13
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    Don't tell her how you feel about her, under any circumstances. The one who does that first usually gets rejected first. Just keep it light and fun. Don't be too available.

  14. #14
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    You may be wasting your time. BUT she may just like the guy to make the first move. Some guys can be proper twats and take you on a date just for thee 'fun' side of things. She may have been in a horrible relationship which means she Might have a very low self esteem and by making the first moves she feels like she's being naive and putting herself in a vulnerable or similar situation. You can never tell a guys motives after one date so she might just be thinking things over. Continue to make the first move, maybe offer to call her for a bit? If she is still being short with you after the next few weeeks then she may just not be into you, but finding it hard to say it to you.

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