Getting over an internet friend

[fisher458]

So about 5 years ago I met this guy through a film site and we started talking on msn, facebook etc. At first it was fine, but then about 2 years ago I started getting really attached to him. He lives in Australia (and I in Canada) so there really weren't a lot of common times that we were online. I would stay up all night talking to him on the weekends and instead of going out with my actual friends, I would stay in in hopes of talking to him. I'm kind of shy and quiet and I thought he was the same, but then I realised that he was this smart, charming guy and I was this pathetic loser who stayed in my room all the time. It sort of made me depressed to know that he is a lawyer, is engaged etc and I'm all alone and just starting uni with really no idea of what I want to do with my life. I kind of hate myself. And it hurt me to see his facebook and all his pictures, statuses, friends, tweets etc.

I'm not sure if I'm in love with him or jealous or lonely or what, but he is literally always on my mind. Last year I cut him off for like an entire year, but I still felt the same and missed talking to him so I don't know if that really helped. I'm back talking to him and I'd still like to be his friend, but not if I'm always going to feel like this. I just want some advice on what I should do.

[Boisdevie]

|This is not normal behaviour. You need therapy. Your quote 'I kind of hate myself' says it all doesn't it?

[uap5765]

You can look up to him and see him as a role model, if you are really that awed by how he's living. And if you would look up to him and try to be like him for a few minutes, you would think, "I should find out what I want to do with my life." or something similar.

Obviously, you seem to be somewhat infatuated by the guy and you don't even know (since you didn't mention anything) if he feels the same way you do. If nothing good and only bad comes out of it, then you should try cutting communications again and try to live your own life. Go out, party with friends, adventure and look for new hobbies/interests, study in uni and enjoy college life. There's a lot of other things you can do besides talking to him. I bet he would also be happy if he sees you living a healthy and good life like him.

[fisher458]

You can look up to him and see him as a role model, if you are really that awed by how he's living. And if you would look up to him and try to be like him for a few minutes, you would think, "I should find out what I want to do with my life." or something similar.

Obviously, you seem to be somewhat infatuated by the guy and you don't even know (since you didn't mention anything) if he feels the same way you do. If nothing good and only bad comes out of it, then you should try cutting communications again and try to live your own life. Go out, party with friends, adventure and look for new hobbies/interests, study in uni and enjoy college life. There's a lot of other things you can do besides talking to him. I bet he would also be happy if he sees you living a healthy and good life like him.

I'm pretty sure he does not feel the same way I do haha. I told him how I felt not too long ago and nothing really came out of that. I thought it would make things better, it didn't. I think the main problem is that I am so unhappy with my own life. The only good that comes out of it is that I'm happy when I am actually talking to him and I enjoy his company. (Although a little too much probably. Last night I was up until 4 am, just waiting on his next reply.) If I do decide to cut him off, should I talk to him about it? Or just do it? It's actually a little bit more complicated. I have this other friend who lives in Uruguay and apparently the same thing happened to him and he advised me to not block my friends. I guess I just want somebody to tell me what to do haha

[uap5765]

You should tell him about your current situation, that you're having some problems in life because of your communication with him. And that although you really liked talking to him, you should temporarily stop to fix some things. I'm sure he'll understand. This way, you wouldn't think of "what ifs..." or "he might worry" or something. You told him about it, he knows why you're leaving for a while... block anything connected to him and fix your life.

[fisher458]

thanks. I've given it a try. Hopefully this time goes better then last time.