Ex Issue

[kiri]

I have been dating with my boyfriend (first boyfriend actually) for year and half and i have always felt little insecure about his ex.They have been dating for a year,they lost virginity to each other,but the relationship didnt end well and they didnt communicate as far as I have known. She went to college,found somebody else and broke up with him,leaving him heartbroken.When we met,he still wanted to get her back,which didnt made me feel very good because i immediately fell for him. But i respected that and waited. We built nice relationship but there always have been these little things that drove me mad. He called me once with her surname(when he was cross but in bed for gods sake),he once asked me if it is okay if she commented her picture that she smiles beautiful,that he want to met her and see how her hair looks like now (she is f.. ginger) and so on. I thought that is just some left feelings and it will go away because he claims he loves me and i feel that he do.. but kind of not fully.When we met i was seventeen and i was already decided where i want to go to college,and it was my big dream to go to particurarly this one,which is in the same city like his ex college.Everybody suported me because they have known I have worked on myslef for a long time and art college was my goal.He was really worried about it,that his another long-distance relationship wont work but i spare some money and told him i would visit him every week,which I am actually doing right now.It tooks me five hours every week to go home and much money and i wanted to be worth it. He calmed down and told me we can make it and he believes me. But recently i found his ex photo on the phone. He told me I am overreacting because i cried and wanted to go home immediately. And the day after he admited that he texted her like two weeks ago when he was drunk,that "bridges are not burned. and she could write him when she had some news ". She replied that he should leave her finally alone and that makes me think that there has been some more communication which i dont know about. I dont know what should I do,I dont feel very happy now and I also know i love him. I feel like naive idiot.
What should I do?
(Btw I am 19,my boyfriend is 24 and we see each other every weekend )

[Jeany]

I think you should talk to you bf and clear the real score between him and his ex, look at him in his eyes and tell him to tell the truth because he is being unfair to you. But you should be ready for his answers.

[kiri]

I dont think I am ready for these answers..:/

[Jeany]

do you believe or do you feel that he loves you more than his ex? If you do fight for him but if not let him go. don't lie to yourself. I know you won't be happy without him but You won't be happy either if yeah you're with him but you know deep inside that he love someone else or he doesn't love you with all his heart.

[kiri]

true,true..I am afraid that he loves me but is just untactful idiot,well all of his past relationships didnt end up well,he is not friend with any of his exes,he makes fun of them most of the time. He wants me to be his best friend.. but how I could understand that things? I am woman and I feel bad when he talks about different ladies. Also i fell weak,becouse he has relationships before and I.. well I was in love,had kind of boyfriend but it was far from serious.

[Fruitsss]

THats why u need to meat-date-get to know, before u get into a relationship.
And all of those are times that u need to use to get to know the person.
ANd it give u the opportunity to see if its a match for u and if there s any red flags .

So red flags are not to just look at it and ignore or talk about it and act like its gone cause u talk about it.
Some red flags are just there for u to run and break any contact with the person cause its not a good one.

And if u already saw the red flags while getting to know or dating u dont need to go for a relationship with that person to make it worse. so once you knew he was not over his ex u should have leave him.
And focus your interest in something or someone else.

Cause waiting some weeks, months, doesnt mean the person will get over their e that soon.
Use your head!!!!!!!!!!!
So u knew it all but u thought u will come in his life and make him to only remember u.
Well u r wrong.

So leave him or stay and take his shit.
U will not win this bullshit. His mind his with his ex not with u.

[Fruitsss]

Never date a person that doenst have his life right.

Messing with exes or having baby mamas or messing with them
having exes stalking them and crap ,just broke up,etc. thats for real guys that u need to run away from!

They are a mess and will bring their mess into your life.
And often they have been like that for ages so they have no plan to ever change.or to have a decent life.

[Fruitsss]

Dont only listing to what they tell u , use your damm head to for the reality that u see and that can be possible.
Love yourself first and be careful who u trust with your heart. stop being desperate for guys u like.

If its not good for u , say no to it.