finding a girl...

[noumenal]

I am a 22 year old nerd (though most wouldn't guess it) and I am having difficulty finding a female I am compatible with. I honestly don't know where to even begin to look. Bars and parties don't attract the kind of females I am interested in. The random approach at the coffee shop, bookstore doesn't work either. I am an introvert so I don't have the largest social circle nor do most females seem to like this fact. I've tried the online thing and every time it is impossible to build rapport and everything fizzles out. Although, I did meet one girl online by chance who I liked more than any other girl I've ever met and if I had been given the chance, it probably would have been a good thing. We talked to one another constantly for 3 months, but due to the distance considerations and a few other things she didn't want to pursue a relationship. We only talk occasionally now.

I'm looking for an intelligent Christian girl (one who takes it seriously). I attend church most weeks, but it isn't the best place to initiate that sort of thing. What I am doing now certainly isn't working (banking on luck...). Any advice would be appreciated.


Thanks

[basilandthyme]

Noumenal, I'm not surprised that you've had no luck with long distance or approaching a girl at a cafe or bookstore. These two approaches would probably have the maximum failure rates of all methods of dating.

Have you tried Christian online dating sites looking for local girls? Is there a church social group? (If not, why not get one started!) What about via your hobbies?

[Love'sReject]

Basil, that's surprising because you've frequently made suggestions for approaches such as Noumenal has tried.

The Christian dating site is a good idea.

[noumenal]

Noumenal, I'm not surprised that you've had no luck with long distance or approaching a girl at a cafe or bookstore. These two approaches would probably have the maximum failure rates of all methods of dating.

I never even would have tried a long distance relationship until I met this girl. That's how much I liked her. It was within a day's drive. But oh well. Still not really over it hence my posting on here. Sometimes I wonder if telling her how I feel would change her mind, but I don't want to hurt her.

I've only tried approaching random girls that appeal to me a few times. Definitely not a good method for someone like me. I don't exactly radiate warmth and kindness.

Have you tried Christian online dating sites looking for local girls?

Yes, I have. Same problem as with other dating sites. No ability to establish rapport online and I also have extreme difficulty finding intellectual girls.

Is there a church social group? (If not, why not get one started!)

There are infrequent social events...But as a senior in college I have an extremely difficult time breaking into these well-established "cliques" that already exist. I was going to join some bible studies but they are all separated by gender...

What about via your hobbies?

My hobbies aren't usually shared by females or are solitary. I play guitar, chess, and play tennis or golf occasionally in the summer. I also read a lot (mostly non fiction). I am usually just focusing on school...

[Love'sReject]

Dude, guitar is the WAY to chicks! Acoustic?

[noumenal]

I can pretty much play anything, but it certainly hasn't ever attracted me a female. It's not like I can whip my guitar out on the spot and woo them haha.

[Love'sReject]

One of the douchey but sure ways of getting chicks is playing acoustic guitar. Just play it on campus and BAM! Girls flock to guys with acoustic guitars.

[noumenal]

One of the douchey but sure ways of getting chicks is playing acoustic guitar. Just play it on campus and BAM! Girls flock to guys with acoustic guitars.

Douchey seems like an accurate description. I'm not sure I could lower myself to that level, but I guess I could consider it.

[basilandthyme]

Accoustic guitar shows that you're not an average guy. It shows you're willing to look outside the square.

My guitar playing daughter (who plays electric and accoustic) is very interested in a bass guitarist at present. They bonded over their love of guitars. Naturally, you'd have to get into a place where you are with other musicians for this to work. Or find yourself a singer. Or a keyboard player. Someone who you can bond with via music.

[basilandthyme]

Basil, that's surprising because you've frequently made suggestions for approaches such as Noumenal has tried.

The Christian dating site is a good idea.

Long distance and cold approaches? LOL. I'd like to see you quote me giving those suggestions!

[Boisdevie]

I once went out with a girl who played guitar. She really was a cunt.

[Love'sReject]

Accoustic guitar shows that you're not an average guy. .

WRONG. Acoustic guitar is one of the quickest ways to sell out for rock stars, and for us regular guys it's one of the douchiest things a guy could do. Acoustic is the gay man's guitar. It gets girls, though.

[HeartIsAching]

I am a 22 year old nerd (though most wouldn't guess it) and I am having difficulty finding a female I am compatible with. I honestly don't know where to even begin to look. Bars and parties don't attract the kind of females I am interested in. The random approach at the coffee shop, bookstore doesn't work either. I am an introvert so I don't have the largest social circle nor do most females seem to like this fact. I've tried the online thing and every time it is impossible to build rapport and everything fizzles out. Although, I did meet one girl online by chance who I liked more than any other girl I've ever met and if I had been given the chance, it probably would have been a good thing. We talked to one another constantly for 3 months, but due to the distance considerations and a few other things she didn't want to pursue a relationship. We only talk occasionally now.

I'm looking for an intelligent Christian girl (one who takes it seriously). I attend church most weeks, but it isn't the best place to initiate that sort of thing. What I am doing now certainly isn't working (banking on luck...). Any advice would be appreciated.


Thanks

You go to church most weeks and can't find a girl?!

Dude, seriously? Back when I went to church, that place was always crawling with eligible females. Maybe try a different church?

You say you're a nerd - what sort of nerd? What activities, what hobbies, what interests do you have?

[Love'sReject]

Is it a Calvinist church? Because if so, no wonder.

[Love'sReject]

You go to church most weeks and can't find a girl?!

Dude, seriously? Back when I went to church, that place was always crawling with eligible females. Maybe try a different church?

You say you're a nerd - what sort of nerd? What activities, what hobbies, what interests do you have?

Back then, girls liked nice guys and dating was a simple thing.