thoughts? advise? perspectives? anything?

[soneone]

theres alot to say so ill try to cut some corners. i havent exactly lived the american dream of a life. i was molested by a "male" when i was 5 for a month everyday by my babysitter. 15 i was homless, drinking constantly, stealing, and writing graffiti (just rukus).

when i was 18 i met this beautiful girl named thalia. me and her instantly hit it off. we got together and were together for 4 months. i ended up going to jail for 7 months, and she stayed with me and wrote me letters. when i got out i just kept doing the same shit for about 2 years while we were still together.

she ended up getting pregnant and i was homeless at the time (couch hoping). i wanted to turn my life around and get a job and a place to live. so within a month i got a job, a car, and an apartment. instantly stopped the bullshit i was doing, but i remand drinking.

anyway fast forward to april 2009. i wasnt working and drinking constantly and we were living with her parents. she got a job and all her co-workers pretty much hated on me really bad, and eventually put thoughts in her head that theres better than me out there.

so she broke up with me. when she did i still lived there for 3 months. but i went crazy after that. we didnt have sex we didnt do anything together. i was there pretty much to watch out son while she worked. she started going out at night and i couldnt sleep because of obsessing over what she was doing.

i started doing things ive never done before and thinking in ways i didnt even no existed. i cried constantly, thought about suicide. i got drunk one night and she got me thrown in jail and when i got out she had a restraining order on me.

what im getting at. is ive developed PTSD, OBSESSIONAL THINKING, AND BIPOLAR TYPE 2... due to exessive drinking after our breakup. the ptsd from the depression of losing her. its been 4 yrs shes had other men in her life and i know because my son tells me, and so do mutual friends.

ive been sober for 5 months now and was in rehab and had a counselor for awhile. but lately its gotten extreme again. i cant stop thinking about her. dates on youtube videos or certain places put me in such a depressed mood.

im 26 yrs old pretty decent looking guy and have a great personality. very funny and artistic. but i havent had a girlfriend since her. i just need people to talk to. im on meds for the bi-polar and ptsd. but its soooo hard sometimes. my son will randomly bring up stories to me. not like i induce him to tell me. please if anyone has advise or would just like to talk. id appreciate it.

[soneone]

i guess another thing. is i havent been happy since weve split up. I HAVE A SCARY THOUGHT IN MY HEAD THAT I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN. that makes me not even want to go forward in my life. i dont go anywhere, do anything. and dont even try and meet new women.

[TeensCosmo]

Don't let your thoughts eat you out.
The first thing that you have to do right now is to get back right on track. Start living a healthy life and set standards for your life. With the skills that you have, try to get a job. Get stable on financials. You say you are pretty decent looking guy and you have a great personallity. Don't let it go to waste! Set some time for your life, focus on your life first, and sooner or later, you will find someone that will be able to be there for you.

AND NO. There is no such thing as you will never be happy again. You can be happy even if you're single. There's a quote that I stand by, "If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy in a single relationship". Trust me, There is no way to happiness, but happiness is the way.

[soneone]

thanks. im trying to live again. i think facebook might be the most evil thing thats got me bringing old thoughts up. i should just back all my pics and delete it. ill be fine then ill get a thought about her and look at her facebook and then my night is ruined. thanks again! good advise!