Girl i dated will try again but now im confused

[dsmith2004]

Any advice would be gratefully received.

Dated a girl for 4 months. We are both in our early 30s and in late November she all of a sudden told me she was confused about what she wanted and that we shouldnstop seeing eachbother. Up to then things seemed good but we never really talked about them, just went with the flow. There was no big plans and we met probably once or twice every week.

So i took time out, hurt but willing to be open to going back to her if i still felt strongly for her. And i did and contacted her two weeks ago to go for a drink. We did and had a great laugh and were comfortable straightaway. She was sorry that she reacted so quickly and i told her how i feltband asked her to consider giving things another go. She told me she really liked me but had been confused.

So we had coffee this morning. She doesnt want to pick up where we left off. I never thought we could. She wants to take things slow, enjoy each others company and see. I really like her and i am willing to be patient. She says she really likes me but is still confused. I have told her that i will work with her but that i am not willing to be used as a fallback option if it is a case that she simply thinks she can do better. She acknowledges this is fair enough. She knows i want more than friendship.

So now I am confused. I want to work with her to give this a shot and have fun. We have agreed to be positive and open minded. My question is how to i give this a chance without crowding her? How do i respect boundaries and help things develop without pressuring her. Any thoughts on the whole situation would be gratefully accepted

[basilandthyme]

Dsmith, what is her definion of 'take it slow'?

My gut feeling is that she's not ready for a relationship and that you'll end up being hurt again. Besides that, I believe that when dating it's important to be yourself and not get all caught up trying to not scare someone away.

[smackie9]

My gut feeling is that she's not that into you. She sees that you are a great guy, but her confusion is the fact that her feelings never progressed, that she just isn't feeling it. She knows you are crazy about her, but she doesn't want things with you to get out of hand if in the end she decides it ain't happening. I guess she is giving it another chance to see if there is something there somewhere. I think this is a fruitless venture....if there isn't spark, and excitement being with someone...you are pretty much just friends.

[DonnyDac]

Hi dsmith2004! Why not try inviting her out with you when you're going out in a mixed crowd of friends and make sure you include some attractive women in the invitation? If she sees you interacting with others and making easy conversation and eye contact with all of them, she may see you in a different light, see your value and then and WANT your attention. At that point, don't give it to her, just flirt a little and keep things light-hearted. If she doesn't want to lose you, then she'll start making the moves.

If the above doesn't work, then move on (I know it's not that easy) because you deserve more!

[Elias Alucard]

Yeah I seem to have this problem with women.

[m8check]

I think she is not sure with what she wants.. or perhaps not sure if she really want to take your relationship to the next level.

[Boisdevie]

Take things slow = I'm not going to shag you anytime in the next decade. So don't even think about sex because it's not even an option with you.