Should I confront him?

[Clare144]

Hi, am hoping I can get some objective opinions about a problem I have with my husband. He's become involved in a peaceful protest group, don't want to say who but they stage demonstrations and protests nationwide which my husband attends. I don't have a problem with that in itself, I agree in principle with the cause he's protesting about but I do worry about his safety as there are always opposing sides at the demos and violence from the other side is commonplace. My husband has always maintained he stays well away from any trouble and I've never had cause to doubt him, until now. He's been chatting a lot by text with one of the other lads from the group and my husband has mentioned in the past this lad is a little more extreme than most and it started to ring alarm bells that they were chatting all the time. Maybe I shouldn't have but I was worried so I read some of the messages while my husband was asleep and they were discussing possible trouble at the next protest and how they were going to retaliate. I'm really gutted, so disappointed that he's let himself get dragged into something he knows isn't right for the sake of bravado, because that's all it is, showing off to his new mate and I doubt he'd even have the guts to follow it through if it came to it, not that I would want him to. So, do I confess that I looked at his phone and confront him about it? I feel on the back foot because I snooped, we've always had trust and I'm not sure who has broken it more, me or him. What would you do in my situation?

[michelle23]

If you are worried about his safety-you should speak up. You don't want him to get hurt and if he is not the "violent type" (never been in a fight) there is a good chance he will get hurt.
You should tell him you looked through his phone because you are worried about him and you did it for the right reasons. If he gets annoyed with you about that-tell him you can discuss the breach of trust later and stand your ground that you want to talk about this fight now.