What do I need to like to be normal?

[Love'sReject]

Obviously, being an iconoclast is the surest way to drive one to the point of suicide. What are the best things of today that are required to like in order to be normal?

What's sane is what everyone else likes and liking anything outside of that is to be insane, so it is also an issue of SANITY to be told what to like.

[basilandthyme]

The only thing you need change for success is to learn tolerance and acceptance of people's different interests and views. While you persist in throwing teenaged insults at things you disagree with, you'll be entirely undatable and probably not worth having as a friend.

Having said that, I don't know why you bother asking. I'm fully expecting you to give a Smart Alec response to this post and we all know that you won't take on board any suggestions.

Out of curiosity, have you ever been tested for Asperger's Syndrome? It could explain why you can't relate to other people's points of view.

[Love'sReject]

I'm not going to disagree. What you said is all perfectly valid.

Hadn't thought about the Asperger's, so I'll definitely look into getting tested.

[basilandthyme]

Start here http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism.htm

[Love'sReject]

Scored low enough that that quiz suggests not likely being Autistic..

[basilandthyme]

Ha! I scored a 36. I agree that I'm a bit Aspie. My dad is like me and my son has Autism. My hubby scores low

[basilandthyme]

Scored low enough that that quiz suggests not likely being Autistic..

Good. That means it should be easier for you to understand the changes required.

[Love'sReject]

I'm actually concerned: it would seem less likely that you would be in any way Autistic and that I would be more likely. Odd....

[basilandthyme]

I'm actually concerned: it would seem less likely that you would be in any way Autistic and that I would be more likely. Odd....

Since meeting my hubby - who has great social skills - I've spent the last 20 years learning and copying what to say and what not to say. It's constant learning and adjustment and requires willingness to change. And I should add that I think I'm only borderline Aspie- I doubt I'd get a dx.

My mother once told me that since getting to know my son and his autistic traits, she now understands me and my dad better.

[Love'sReject]

Well, you haven't revealed your social life in any post on the forum that I've read yet..However, from your posts and the fact that you have a husband, it would seem that the MAJOR thing in being diagnosed as Autistic is something you don't appear to suffer from: severe social problems. Makes me wonder if one can even be BORDERLINE Autistic..

[basilandthyme]

Makes me wonder if one can even be BORDERLINE Autistic..

Do you not realise this is a spectrum disorder? Hence the name ASD (autism spectrum disorder) All have one or two traits of autism.....some people have a few more traits...some people have a quite a number of traits and others have enough traits to get a diagnosis. When one has enough traits to get a diagnosis, it can be from mild Aspergers to severe Autism. And then there's things such as PDD-NOS where one doesn't have all the traits required to get an ASD dx, but have something clearly wrong.

Relating to men (and boys when I was at school) was one of the things I could do relatively easily because men say what they mean. I can understand and relate to men. And men seem to like girls who say what they mean and don't bother with games. Which meant that they were OK with me.

Women, on the other hand took me a long time to learn to relate to. Many women have all these subtle things going on which I still don't understand. I still can't figure out how to get involved in the groups of school mums who go the cafes after dropping the kids at school....but that's OK because I'd prefer to come home anyway....small talk is very tiring.

I have problems with being too literal and if someone has a straight face when telling a joke, I will miss it. My family laughs each time I misinterpret what someone says due to me being literal. I get so passionate about interests that I can block out all around me and the place will start to fall apart. My husband sometimes needs to remind me that I've talked enough on one subject and need to talk about something else now. I'm a visual learner, so if you try and explain something to me in words, all I hear is bla bla bla

If you want to argue against my thoughts further, please first tell me what your experience with ASD is. eg; How many different people do you know who have it? (the more people you know who have it, the more you will appreciate the diversity of an ASD) What studies or books have you read on the subject of ASD? Because if you're totally clueless but still wanting to argue, I won't waste my time responding.

[Love'sReject]

Wasn't trying to argue, just plum forgot. Having never taken a psychology course, I still have the same misnomers about disorders like Autism (but not those cruel stereotype kinds of misunderstandings)

[dem862]

There is an epidemic of virgin men. Also would expect to see more women who are complaining about loneliness, but there are never any on here. There is some kind of societal trend going on, but I haven't figured it out yet.

[pcmaster]

There is an epidemic of virgin men. Also would expect to see more women who are complaining about loneliness, but there are never any on here. There is some kind of societal trend going on, but I haven't figured it out yet.

I think the problem is you have to actually believe and imagine being happy before you even get there. The problem is - its hard to imagine something that you never really experienced. But you can imagine being lonely because its your reality and thats where you end up instead.

I did watch this youtube video, its kinda long but opens eyes abit about dating and aproaching girls /watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TZLGZecG5cQ

[Love'sReject]

Well said, pcmaster.