What to do to make my ex girlfriend back

[santi611]

Hello Everyone!

First time to post here. I'm seeking for any advice about my (ex) girlfriend that falls out of love at me.

here's my story:

My (ex) girlfriend for a short period (2 and half months) just recently broke up with me. She said the same thing “falling out of love with me”. After hearing her say that, I feel like I am a real bad person and a total jerk. I ask her why and said she doesn’t even know and doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. She wants me to leave right away but didn’t listen to her request. I keep asking her more questions like did I done something wrong?, What’s her problem that maybe we can talk about it?, What drives her to fall out of love with me etc... but didn’t answer back. She got irritated more when I ask a lot of questions because she’s already tired from her internship and want to go to sleep. All I do is begging her that time to give me a chance so even if I still want to talk to her I am still concern that she’s already tired and have to wake up early for her internship in a hotel. So I decided to leave instead and say this to her ”do what you like”. After that I didn’t contact her till now.


Right now, I am still hurt and thinking if she really meant everything she says to me wondering if I’ve really done something wrong. I told her that I’ll change and be better for her.


I want her back but she told me that it’s not gonna happen anymore and told me she wants to focus on her daughter instead. I keep insisting to her to give me a chance but says no, though she says If ever we become together again it will happen again (realizing now that I didn’t put a lot of attention to her and make her feel unappreciated because of work and I admit that it’s my fault). I am confused if she still loves me even if she says that she fell out of love at me. What should I do? I plan to stay out of her for 2 months by not calling or sending any text messages and instead focus on improving myself.


Is 2 months really long enough to make her feel that I move on and make her feel that I don’t care and love her anymore that everything is ok to me? But my mind keeps on asking will it work or is it really late for me if I do that? Shall I move on instead or continue to stay out of her for months and court her again? One more thing, she’s much older to me by 5 years and feels like there’s no hope if I approach her again and say the same thing. I don’t know what kind of approach shall I give to her if ever I ask her out?.

My friend advice me that I should not contact her for at least 3 weeks then call her and tell her that I’m sorry for causing her the pain of the break up and I agree with it (even if I disagree) and say something that “thinking with a lot of thought its best for us to have that kind of conversation” (appearing that I agree with the break up and show her that I am strong and matured enough to go on my own life without her and in fact rejecting her). Please help. I want her back seriously. She says to me before that she’s not the type of woman that falls back to her ex. What should I do? Please help. Any help would be appreciated.


Santi

[michelle23]

Hey Im sorry but I only read the first paragraph.

Two and a half months is infatuation-not love. You will get over her. Give yourself a month or two, cut all contact with her and accept its over. You will be ready to meet someone else soon.

You and she are probably just not compatible. 2-3months in nothing. Trust me. You will understand when you have been with someone 3 years.

[pcmaster]

Your ex seems to be much more expierienced than you. Basicaly you are just a stupid fish ourside the pound. Start to bread again and forget the bitch. As sooner you will start to pay attention to other girls as sooner wou will find a new girl and be happy again.

youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=KriZHsiiYPg&feature=endscreen

[santi611]

should i contact her still about telling her that I'm ok with the break up that I already accepted it or completely ignore her forever? and if ever she instead the one that contact's me what approach should i do?

thanks!

[michelle23]

no you dont contact her at all and if she contacts you-you ignore her. you need to get over her so you can move on and meet someone else. dont waste time on someone who does not want you.

[smackie9]

You don't have to do anything wrong to be dumped by someone. Sometimes their feelings don't develop and that happens naturally. Love can't be forced, it can't be created and just because you are in love doesn't mean they are going to be too. Other factors to sudden breakups are, that you were a rebound, they want to try things again with their ex, they discovered they like the same sex, or they have another interest. Dude she told you she doesn't want to be with you anymore and you should respect that.....don't ever contact her again. If she changes her mind she will contact you. But don't hold hope.....start moving on and go out with some girls.

[stan92964]

Just because someone rejects doesn't mean something is wrong with you ... but more than that you need to be with some-one that wants to be with you. You cant help feeling the pain from a break up but you can do some research and learn what makes good relationships work and not only do it better next time but learn how to make a better choice to begin with.

[VerticalMoon]

If she feels she fell out of love with you after just two and a half months, then her feelings for you must not have been that deep to begin with. You had your chance to be with her and try to make things work out. It didn't. What that means is it was meant to be, and there's somebody better for you out there. Don't waste your time on somebody who doesn't care enough for you. There are other girls in this world.

If she comes back on her own accord asking for another chance, and you're still single and feel up to it, then you can give it one more shot. Don't expect that to happen though. Just do your best to heal and move on.

And no, there's no point in telling her you're okay with the break-up. The best way to get that message across is to stay away from her. Besides what she thinks should be the least of your concerns at this point. If you start dwelling on that, it will just hold you back from moving on.

[santi611]

Thanks guys for all the advice! I truly appreciate it!

I got some few questions that bothers me.

I don't know if I am just a rebound to her. My ex and I are openly discuss everything like talking about our ex. In my side I hardly talk about my ex because I feel it's not important anymore and I already move on and don't want my (ex)girlfriend to feel jealous and compared while on her side she keeps talking about her 2 ex. It's ok to me if she talks about her 2 ex cause to me it doesn't matter anymore and its already part of her past and her previous boyfriend was the father of her kid which she broke up last year. We started our relationship just this year, January. Even if we talk everything about our past it makes me think sometime if she already move on from her 2 ex. So I ask her, if she already move on and says YES! but there's something in me that she's not yet forgiving and forget about what her 2 ex done to her. The other one just cheated on her and her second ex, is already married but she chose to continue to have that kind of relationship without expecting if they will be together or not and got pregnant from that guy.

I love her and even her daughter. In our first month together we already have some misunderstanding like she think and feels that I don't put much attention to her because of work so I decided to balance my time and make her the first priority. Weeks past and I notice that she's becoming more ill tempered maybe because she got her period that week. I do my best to comfort her.

We use to talk about sex also. She's asking me how am I in bed and tells me that she wants to have sex with me. It's a turned-off to me if a woman shows more aggressiveness or rush into things though we had sex twice. After 2 weeks she begins to ignore me without knowing what I've done wrong so I approach and ask her. She told me that she feels my time for her isn't enough so i decided to visit her more and spend more quality time to her.


I feel like I am being compared to her previous ex. Last week she told me thru text message that our relationship was different in her previous ex bf's that she feels no excitement and doesn't see any "spark" from our relationship and she ask me to give her some space when she says that my heart broke thinking what I've done wasn't enough and showing how much I love her wasn't enough and it hurts cause I'm being compared too. I tried to contact her after that message asking her what did I done wrong to her and what does she wants me to do but didn't reply back. After 2 days without communication at her, I decided to visit her. I was surprised the moment she sees me she ask me why am I in her house? I didn't answer her back cause I know she's mad and tired from her training. She went to her room to change while me and her daughter were talking in the living room. That same day, she told me that she fell out of love at me and wants me to leave.

Am I just a rebound? cause that's what I realize now back in our relationship. I told her before that I don't like to be compared to any of her ex that every relationship is unique and ask her to trust me cause she's thinking that I am flirting someone else which I didn't do. Did I spoiled her much by showing and telling her how much I love her even if she's telling me it wasn't enough?

[smackie9]

Dude just accept that things didn't work out.