Girlfriend doesn't love me the same as I love her

[Simpo]

So me and my girlfriend had a long talk about our relationship since she is moving back down South (Aberdeen to Edinburgh) for the Summer due to summer break (3 months) from uni. We originally were going to just see each other every 2-4 weeks but some problems came up. She told me that she doesn't know if she can handle the distance since she hasn't in previous relationships. She also said that at the moment she doesn't feel like she loves me as much as she did but still cares about me and doesn't want to break up. She feels our relationship is at a weak point just now and can only get worse due to the distance.

I love this girl soo freaking much it hurt like hell hearing this and I broke down in tears but having her their to hold me lessened the pain. Things were feeling a bit off but I didn't think much of it and thought it was just something we needed to talk over and then it would be fine. I think she is perfect in every-way for me, we have soo much fun when we're together and I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. The only thing I can fault is that she doesn't seem to show or put in the same amount of effort to show that she loves me when we're not together (i.e. lack of communication when we're apart)

We are on a break until next weekend to kind of see what things would be like not seeing each other and we are going to decide after we see the new superman film if we are just going to be friends or try and continue the relationship.

Additional info: We have been together 6 months, been through a lot, she has hurt me in the past and may think she doesn't deserve me, we have had a break before and it worked out, its only a 2 hour drive away, i may love her more than she loves me, she is my first love, we still care about each other but not sure if the love is the same on both sides...

Any advice or opinions are greatly appreciated

[michelle23]

If things are this difficult only 6 months in-the chances of it working out long term are slim. Sorry I know thats not what you want to hear. IF you do breakup though-you will be okay. Its not the end of the world and time is a great healer. Perhaps you are just not compatible or you met at the wrong time. Anyway first girlfriend, fifth girlfriend doesn't matter. You'll get over it. The heart is stronger than you think

And if it doesn't work out-it wasn't meant to so stay positive.

[Simpo]

Thank you, I think it was a simple case of wrong time and that she lives far away and we both love spending time cuddling, touching, holding hands and other things. Its just going to be really hard for me to get over her since she is my first girlfriend and the fact that she was perfect for me and i had plans and everything in my head. She is also my best friend and not sure how I'm going to cope without her. I really don't want to lose her out of my life and still want to remain friends but it's going to be really hard since we were more than that. I know this is going to sound stupid since she is the one who lost love in me and is in a way the problem but I find comfort in spending time with her even just as friends since she understands me like no one else does but at the same time I know this can lead to more problems but it just helps to know that she is still there and cares for me.

[michelle23]

Shes not "perfect" for you. If she was, she wouldnt be contemplating breaking up. Love works both ways-giving and recieving. If one is more emotionally invested than the other-then it is not meant to be.

I know its hard-we have all been there but trust me, the best way to get over her is to have no contact with her. Keeping her in your life as a friend will hold you back and prevent you from falling in love with someone else.

[Simpo]

I meant perfect in the sense that we loved the same things and were always on the same page, knew what each other was thinking. The other thing is she said she didn't want to break up which is kind of confusing since she basically said she doesn't love me like she used to. I believe your right in the sense that I was more emotionally invested than she was.

I know I shouldn't keep her as a friend but at the same time I don't want seem like I hate her for what she did and break off contact. I understand why she did it, she told me that she felt it wouldn't be right to string me along over the holidays and give me false hope for when she returns which shows she still cares about me but not in that way.
Tbh I can't see myself looking for anyone else for a few months if not a year. You always hear about heart break and how difficult it is but only until you experience it do you understand how truly devastating it can be, especially if you still love the person.

[michelle23]

Ya thats good. You should be alone for awhile until you get over her but it will be a lot harder to get over her if you stay friends. Shell understand why you cant be friends. Its better to just cut all ties. I tried to stay friends with an ex once-I broke up with him-he was devastated-I was fine but it just made it harder for him. We went no contact for two months-then he text me saying "im ok now, can we still be friends" and I said okay. but then everytime we talked after that-hed just keep asking me to get back with him and was hurt each time I said no.

In the end I had to be a bitch and put my foot down so hed get the message loud and clear. We havnt spoken since. Its better to just move on with you life

[Simpo]

I really respect your advice and thankful for the help your giving me but I just want to hold on until after superman (next weekend) then I will talk to her and we can decide where we are going to go from there. If I want to cut ties or try a distant friendship. A small problem is that we also have tickets for wwe wrestling in November and we discussed earlier on in the relationship that if things did go wrong that we would go as friends as long as the break up wasn't messy or if someone was cheated on. She has had a big impact on my life and I feel that I can't just treat her like she doesn't exist because I still care for her even if it is just as a friend. (Im a very caring guy, always want everyone to be happy, im too nice which is one of my flaws)

I am willing to take the risk even though I know and have been warned that it can go wrong but as they say every relationship is different. But I thank you again for the advice and support

[TLe]

You are like me, always try my best even though its risky, so I wont regret later. As long as you have hope, go for it and you will find out if its worth your effort.
Good luck.

[Simpo]

You are like me, always try my best even though its risky, so I wont regret later. As long as you have hope, go for it and you will find out if its worth your effort.
Good luck.

Thank you. I am basically going to tell her that I love her and I am willing to put the effort in to make the relationship work over summer but if she chooses not to make the effort and wants to just try being friends then I have to try and move on. At least if she does decide to break up with me I can leave her knowing that I tried everything I could to make it work and won't have any regrets