Why are guys scared of the truth?

[sadbunnyface]

Is it because it will make you look less than perfect to us, or are you scared you'll lose us if we know the truth?

You do realize two wrongs don't make a right?

If someone directly asks you a q, be honest because in all likelihood they already know the truth to begin with and are seeing if you will be honest with them, so you dig yourself a bigger hole by lying, imo

[YoungCosmo]

Uhhh..wow. What? Except for something regarding a question, you seemed to imply being aware of some mystic, very cryptically stated by the way, holistic truth that you women are inherently aware of. WHAT?

[sadbunnyface]

I am giving my own views and what I think. From my own personal experience with liars lol Want to know why men lie when it is just as easy to admit what is going on and let the chips fall where they may. Lying only compounds an already touchy situation. I think you cannot respect the other person if you can't be honest with them. So guess that is why it bothers me. If I am willing to respect men and be truthful, why is it easier for me then some of them.

Are they scared to be honest, and scared of what?

[YoungCosmo]

Ah, now you're delving into ethics. Yes, that's precisely why I would never lie. Some guys won't lie; some men are ethical. Those who lie are unethical. Simple? Yes. Poignant? Completely.

[sadbunnyface]

The forum keeps logging me out, lol. Maybe because I am not scrolling the page/forum, so it renders me inactive even tho I am still logged in, idk.

Yes, that is it. All that sketchy nature about avoiding even a simple truth. Like saying I am eating dinner with friends tomorrow but actually they are going to do 3 hrs of sports, like wth, why not say I am going to do sports, why even lie on that. That is real example lol. Or this one, my phone is broken so if you want to call let me know in advance and I can wiggle wire so it works, lawls, come off it, you unplugged it for christs sake just say so. Grr. So annoying. And then there are the big whopper of lies.

[YoungCosmo]

I think some guys weren't raised properly by their mom (or especially, their dad).

[sadbunnyface]

The one I was ranting on in another thread is from a divorced family, and chose to stay with his mom after his dad vacated the family when he was in his 10 11 yo because the dad cheated with a woman who was his student at uni. His dad taught a law class if I recall correctly. The woman got pregnant and he left his family to marry her and raise that child. I feel if a man has a dad who is a compulsive liar or player/cheater why wouldn't he try his best not to follow that path for himself because he saw what he destroys. The guy I mentioned used to call his dad a douche and even wanted to change his name to his mother's maiden name when his dad died, he had that much resentment. But I slowly see him following in his dads footsteps. His mom was a doctor and always working...so I think from that time on he raised himself. Makes me wonder.

[basilandthyme]

Oh, for heaven's sake, it's not as if women are immune to lying. I have no idea why you've made a male bashing thread.

Anyway, the reason for lying is pretty much the same in either gender: it's about wanting to avoid getting in trouble for whatever it is they are doing.

[michelle23]

If you want someone as loyal and honest as you-then walk away if he lies to you ONCE. Those are all big red flags. Not all men lie and cheat. Your talking about a minority. Plenty of good guys in the world so stop bi***ing and whining about this loser and go find someone better.

btw a small white lie is forgivable: does my ass look big babe. "NO"

telling you he is studying in the library while hes actually in the pub with his friends is a BIG lie. Why lie if he isnt doing anything wrong? Id see that as a major red flag and wonder who was he really in the pub with since he lied... Things like this example should make you dump his ass straight away

And that whole phone thing you mentioned-probably had his other gf there at that time. You should have made a surprise visit when he wasnt expecting you to catch the bastard...

Anyway it has nothing to with his dad.. he could go either way. some people believe what there parents have done is wrong and swear never to make the same mistakes, others allow history to repeat itself, others say they wont do it and they do.. Its not black and white. Its a huge grey area. In general though people who come from broken homes are more likely to end up that way themselves-just like people who are obese generally have obese children from teaching bad eating habits..

[dickriculous]

Anyway, the reason for lying is pretty much the same in either gender: it's about wanting to avoid getting in trouble for whatever it is they are doing.

Eh, not true. When I tell a new girl that I'm packing a multi-orgasmic 8 inch poonslayer below my waist I'm not trying to avoid trouble. If anything I'm trying to stir it up.

[IndiReloaded]

This was neat. Kids start lying around age 4-5 to test their world perception:

http://curiosity.discovery.com/question/what-are-reasons-for-lying

[sadbunnyface]

Oh, for heaven's sake, it's not as if women are immune to lying. I have no idea why you've made a male bashing thread.

Anyway, the reason for lying is pretty much the same in either gender: it's about wanting to avoid getting in trouble for whatever it is they are doing.

Weren't you the person who talked with me on my 1st thread I posted? So you would know this was a companion thread to that posted thread and a real important to know question for me, so how is it even close to be a male bashing thread? That seems confusing. This is ask a male forum section, and this question I have is about how males act, makes sense to me to ask it. Not what you suggested at all.

[sadbunnyface]

This was neat. Kids start lying around age 4-5 to test their world perception:

http://curiosity.discovery.com/question/what-are-reasons-for-lying

That article looks interesting, I will take the time to watch the video that accompanies it when I log out, thank you. Hoping I learn some things. Because it boggles my mind when people need to white lie, if it isn't even involving sparing feelings, big lies I get is butt saving.

[sadbunnyface]

If you want someone as loyal and honest as you-then walk away if he lies to you ONCE. Those are all big red flags. Not all men lie and cheat. Your talking about a minority. Plenty of good guys in the world so stop bi***ing and whining about this loser and go find someone better.

btw a small white lie is forgivable: does my ass look big babe. "NO"

telling you he is studying in the library while hes actually in the pub with his friends is a BIG lie. Why lie if he isnt doing anything wrong? Id see that as a major red flag and wonder who was he really in the pub with since he lied... Things like this example should make you dump his ass straight away

And that whole phone thing you mentioned-probably had his other gf there at that time. You should have made a surprise visit when he wasnt expecting you to catch the bastard...

Anyway it has nothing to with his dad.. he could go either way. some people believe what there parents have done is wrong and swear never to make the same mistakes, others allow history to repeat itself, others say they wont do it and they do.. Its not black and white. Its a huge grey area. In general though people who come from broken homes are more likely to end up that way themselves-just like people who are obese generally have obese children from teaching bad eating habits..

Thank you. He was a different person when we were engaged and before he went away, I think he changed the type of people he would normally hang with when away, the men and women here were common people we both knew, not big time partiers either. Enjoyed seeing movies over clubbing/drinking. No, I agree not all men, but this is a specific question off a thread I first made in another forum, and is about the same person I have in mind and he def does lie.

Even white lies, I wonder why, like the sports thing for instance, why do I care if he play sports in his free time. Oh, he's done some doozy of big lies, he thinks I don't know the truth, but I do, and not from him either.

The phone thing happened NYE 2013. I tried to call him after when back home off my party, and he was at a "work" party with his group, I don't associate with those people. And his phone didn't work when I called, thought odd because ans. machine never picked up and it went on for months trying to call his home phone, I call his cell lots too, but prefer home phone because of not using my minutes lol. He finally admitted ( well lies still) but said it wasn't working right, I said call company and get it fixed and he wouldn't took offense I even said get it fixed. Months later not fixed. I live on other side of city compared to him and I do not drive. If it was easy to go over, I would have though. I oddly never once thought he has a chick there, and that is why, I felt he doesn't like me calling and him having to talk an hr with me, because if I call his cell we talk at most 10 mins. Whatever reason, it hurt my feelings.

I agree with all everyone said. I see each side. Just so raw to me still. I can't trust his words and that is a huge dealie to me.

[michelle23]

Hun do yourself a big favor and just end this nightmare relationship/fling/fwb-whatever it is. Your not happy, its not gonna get any better, hes not gonna change. You cannot fix him or tame him or control him or hope that one day he wont take you for granted. He has no respect for you and its already over for that reason alone.

Ill give you one tip in the future with men: If you break up-mean it and don't give him any second chances. If he breaks up with you-dont allow him to come back. When its over, its over. Why keep flogging a dead horse?