In a Relationship, how does one manage the finance/money problem?

[bbq10]

I'm in a relationship with my bf for 1 month now, sometimes when we go out for dinner at those places that can pay via cards he will pay. But sometimes i will pay him back but some of my frens told me that sometimes i need to let the guy to pay for me sort of like let him pampered me.

What i did these days was, if he pays for dinner i will pay something else. like maybe desert or a movie etc.

Yesterday was kind of weird or maybe you can say a turn off.

He pay for dinner as usual, after that we just roam around the shopping mall didnt get a chance to buy him back sometimes or what.

We met his fren for supper his fren drove us to eat.

Here is the situation:

I put my bag on the chair to reserve seat thus my wallet is in there ( i was able to see my bad from the cashier). He wants me to accompany him to order the food , so i follow him and intro him what is nice over there as i use to patrol the stall. When the cashier told him total is $9, he just stood there like pretend he never hear anything. So i nudge him and say the cashier was talking to him den he took out his wallet. It was quite a awkward situation, i don't know why he react this way. Is he waiting for me to pay for it or something?

Should i talk to him about it? If yes, how should i start with?


I really don't know if couple goes out on a date, how should they manage their money?

[namemyname]

Oh...another "who should pay" thread!

I am old-school, and I believe whomever does the asking, does the paying. In the early dates, I don't ask guys out. I assume they take me somewhere they can afford.

You have gotten him into the habit of having you pay, so you need to keep doing that. It's too late to expect him to court you, when you've already positioned yourself as not worthy of that.

It makes me sad that young men have become so lazy and entitled, and quite honestly, fem when it comes to dating and paying. And, worse that young women enable it, and then complain.

[4 ratties]

Communication is key. Start now. Talk to him about you paying for stuff every once in awhile. In the beginning yes it's polite for the guy to pay. Or if u invite him somewhere maybe split it. I think The girl should pay every once in awhile cuz I don't think it's fair to the guy and you don't want him to think your into him for the money.

[bbq10]

Hi namemyname

So your advise is i should kept paying for whatever comes next after he pay for?

I don't really like the idea of the guy pays for everything. To me is like both of us is working adult so is fair that both contribute to pay.

But i really dont know why he did that, he can just tell me like he doesn't have cash on hand can i pay for it or something..

It was really very awkward..

[namemyname]

Well, he did that because again, you've gotten him in the habit of paying for things after he's treated you. So, he felt it was your turn, I guess.

If you don't like him paying for everything, then yes, keep doing what you're doing, but maybe when a check comes, you say, "do you have this? I'll get the popcorn, then", kind of thing.

[bbq10]

Do you think i should talk to him about this?

[namemyname]

You can, sure.

[LifeInflux]

I'm a guy who often takes it on myself to pay for just about everything... and call me old fashioned but I feel strange when the girl I'm with pays for things....

BUT, I'm not made of money, and women love going out. Sometimes I'll hint if I'm getting low on expendable funds and say something like.. "Didn't you say you were taking me to a movie tonight?" and make it kind of a game. Most of the time I'll scale back and cook for them because I'm a pretty good cook, but not many men have that ability to entertain at home without taking their pants off.

The truth of the matter is, its nice to have your partner pay for things. It shows that they care. I think if you want to split it the way it is now, thats great, but it would probably mean a lot to him if one night you said -- "Hey would you like to go to dinner and a movie tonight? My treat." Put it on the table before you go. If you start to pick up entire dates occasionally, you might get him to do the same, so you can go night to night instead of meal by meal.


If nothing else it will be easier to tally so you don't have awkward situations.

[namemyname]

not many men have that ability to entertain at home without taking their pants off.

Everyone likes a floor show, hon.

[bbq10]

How should i go about talking to him about this?

[LifeInflux]

Everyone likes a floor show, hon.

True, but after a while the costumes get costly as well :o

[bbq10]

I thought about this the whole morning too and i realize that the only way to straighten things out now is we pay by night instead of a meal which is harder to predict what comes next.

i shall treat him to a meal next date! =)

Thanks for your advise.

[bbq10]

Communication is key. Start now. Talk to him about you paying for stuff every once in awhile. In the beginning yes it's polite for the guy to pay. Or if u invite him somewhere maybe split it. I think The girl should pay every once in awhile cuz I don't think it's fair to the guy and you don't want him to think your into him for the money.

Yes.. I don't want him to think that i'm with him because of cash.. yesh i know i should start talking to him about it but i dont know how i should start.... Any suggestion?

[4 ratties]

Next time you go out, you can say "my treat" ... He might be like oh no no let me pay, then say "no it's my treat" or "lets split it"
I'm sure that flatters guys just like it flatters us girls. I know guys like to be the macho ones and the ones taking care of the family, but on the other hand, guys like gifts every once in awhile too

[bbq10]

i think i tends to give him gifts more than he give me... till now i didnt receive a gift from him..