The Girl I've known for 17 years, suddenly texts me

[gr8whitebuffalo]

I've known a girl for a very long time...since we were children. It almost seemed as if things went back and forth between the two of us but in reality I'm pretty sure it was all me. I was always infatuated, we live in the same neighborhood, we have the same interests, but about ten years ago when I was 11 or 12 I expressed my feelings for her and they were not the same as hers. She of course just saw us as friends. Our friendship seemed to dwindle through middle school and high school, and through almost all of college. But lately we've run into each other at nearby bars and started talking again. We have outright danced together at a bar where people don't generally dance. I've gotten a different vibe from her the past couple months, but I've always just assumed that if nothing happened way back when we were kids that nothing would just spontaneously change her mind after all these years. A couple weeks ago a mutual friend heard me refer to her as my "great white buffalo" (the one that got away). He told her precisely that I referred to her as my great white buffalo and that he felt he shouldn't be talking to her because I was clearly still interested in her. At this point she texts me and tells me she wants to talk to me, so late at night around 12 I meet up with her at the playground like we did when we were kids. She tells me what my friend has said, and asks me what a great white buffalo is and I explain to her that it means she's the girl I had feelings for for a very long time, she's the one that got away, but I also explained that if nothing had happened in all these years, I had no reason to believe that something would happen now. I tell her that I would think of her in a different way if she gave me indication that she was interested in me now, and even joked that inviting me out in the middle of the night was kind of that indication. We talked a couple times since that late night meeting, mostly about what one another was currently doing, or more importantly where they were (to see if the other was coming to that location haha). But tonight I drive past her house on my way home, around 11, and I passingly hope that she will see me and text me, and sure enough a couple minutes later she randomly texts me right out of the blue. Now we've both pretty much agreed to hang out in a couple days and I'm lost. Is she really interested in me spontaneously as I've hoped for? Or is she trying to rebuild this friendship because so many of our friends have moved away or moved on from childhood friendships? Does randomly texting me mean she is interested? Does agreeing to hang out Thursday mean she's interested? Is there anything I can do to convince her that we've gotten older, and that good friends are worth dating, and that it could really be worth exploring? Basically I need help! What is my move when I see her in a couple days. (note, I'm sure this is not a date, we will most likely go to a bar or something with other friends)

[searock]

I think the only way you have to know whether she is interested is to explicitly ask her. She might just be enjoying the ego boost.

There's no need for you to "blurt out your feelings", just tell her something light and fun like "So, is this a date? I would love for it to be a date. " see her reaction... you deserve an answer.

[smackie9]

Just ask her out on a date.....simple as that. It's better than saying "I have feelings for you"....I'm surprised you didn't ask her out on a date that night you talked. If you act like a wuss, she will lose interest.

One thing about dating someone you have known for a long time....you don't get that intense spark of meeting someone new....it's a crucial stage that develops the strong bond needed in a relationship. Also since you have already have your own idea what she would be like as your GF, she may not fulfill your expectations. Kind of like when you are exciting about getting something but when you finally get it, the novelty wears off. Sometimes not having someone is more desirable than having them. So don't get your hopes up too high. Just treat this like anyone else you ever asked out and just go with it, don't force it.

[gr8whitebuffalo]

I know all too well about wanting what you can't have and then once you have it the feeling wears off. I feel like most of my life I've just wanted a gf all the time, and then I start dating someone and it lasts 6 months or longer, but after that I realize they aren't the right person. Obviously this is the whole point of dating, so it's to be expected. I feel an appropriate plan of action would be to enjoy my night out in a couple days and on that night out I'll try to build attraction and nearing the end see if she'd like to go out on a date. I get the feeling she will act dodgy and make even asking her out difficult and awkward, but she'll do it playfully whether she accepts or declines.