I'm thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend.

[xoRubyxo]

Hello all,

I'm a 33 year old female, and could use advice with my situation. I posted once before about an issue regarding the same man. I've been in many bad relationships, and am beginning to pick up on some red flags that have me feeling that things will not improve. Here are just a few of my issues
He told me he doesn't believe in monogamy, although he assures me he will never cheat, he refuses to discuss it further. I feel that this is a topic a couple should discuss and agree on, and I'm having trouble believing, or trusting, that he will stay faithful.
He pressures me for things I don't want to do. At the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he wanted me to have anal sex with him, I told him it was something I don't like doing. I even asked him before our relationship progressed, if it was something that would cause problems down the road. He said no, and that he'd "rather a good woman" than someone willing to do everything he wants. This topic has come up several times, even though he knows I don't want to do it. I told him I was willing to play along with the fantasy, and he was ok with that. But now he tells me he wants me to say I will consider it, even though I wouldn't. We had a very lengthy argument the other night, and he just won't empathize with my position, and I have told him exactly why I don't want to do that. He told me he doesn't agree with my reasons. I feel like he doesn't respect me one bit, and that I'm more like an object to him. I've been in controlling relationships, as well as have been cheated on several times. I feel like things will not get better. He refuses to talk to me about anything. We live a couple of towns away, and only see each other once a week, sometimes less. Am I right to want to break up with him? I would be willing to sort things out with him, if anyone thinks a break up isn't necessary. I do care about him, but I'm really not happy with the way it is going. Thank you for your help.

[michelle23]

Its very simple. You and he are not compatible. You have not learned much from all your past bad experiences coz you keep going for the same type again and again. Break up with him and consider some personal counselling to help you figure out why you are attracted to the wrong ones and why they are attracted to you.

You likely have doormat written all over you. When people keep getting burned and keep attracting the same douche bags again and again, it usually indicates an issue with you.

You need to set your standards much higher and get these QS out of the way early BEFORE you commit to him and if you dont get the answers your hoping for say NEXT and move on. Plenty of guys do believe in monogamy and plenty have no interest in anal so go find one

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Give up the butt or every guy is going to cheat on you.

[michelle23]

Thats not true ^^^ not all guys want it

[anonymous_a]

You definitely need to leave. His behavior is full of red flags for future abuse and/or control issues. Get out before it's too late.

[xoRubyxo]

I don't see why I should give up anything for a man who doesn't respect me. As if he wouldn't cheat just because I "gave it up"?
Thank you Michelle for your honest advice.

[xoRubyxo]

That's exactly what I want to avoid. His refusal to accept my reasons, and pretty much disregard my opinions, raises a real issue with me. I feel it in my gut that it isn't right. It's one thing to discuss fantasies, which I have no problem with. It's the part where he refuses to see my reasons as valid. It just had me feeling that he doesn't care much about me.

[michelle23]

Why are you dating someone who lives miles away? How often do you even see him? I wouldn't trust this guy at all. Just end it now so you can focus on meeting someone better. Stop wasting time on the wrong people. You have had a bad feeling about this guy for months, your instincts are telling you something so just get it over and done with now

[anonymous_a]

I'm with Michelle. Get out now.

[pcmaster]

"I have told him exactly why I don't want to do that."

So what is the reasons you wont agree with him?

[xoRubyxo]

Pcmaster: I don't want to experience pain during sex. He doesn't agree that it could cause me pain.

[Stickleback]

I think you already know the answer to your question.

You cannot be in a loving committed relationship with someone who would pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. It's your body, you choose what gets done to it, no-one else.

Get the hell outta Dodge sweetie. This one is not worth your time, effort or dignity.

[pcmaster]

It looks like you have to choose between relationship and your ass. What do you love more?

[michelle23]

Pcm just coz u have a little anal fixation dont mean all guys do. Some of you act like theres something wrong with her for not wanting it.

FYI: Anal can cause bowel problems, leakage, cancer, bleeding-even death. If you find a girl who wants it-good for you but theres nothing wrong with those of us who choose not to. And a lot of guys dont wana do it either

[pcmaster]

I dont have "anal fixation" lol ! Never my GF will get her ass used even if she ask for. I seen what it does to girls and it ends up with fat poop. Anus is where poo comes out and if you use it for sex then it can change the way you poop forever. The shape of poo will change and so your life with it OP.

But if seriously girls I dont like, I naturaly want to fck in ass(never done that) cause them pain, dont care if they get pleasure and maybe even make them cry. And never see again ofcourse. It would feel like dominition. So its hard to understand why OP BF wants to take this risk.