Thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend.

[confxsed]

It kills me to write this because breaking up is the last thing I want to do but I'm not sure how much longer I can carry on.
Basically, I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months and there was a time where I really thought I loved him but now I'm not so sure.
He's a lovely guy, we rarely argue and he's never intentionally hurt me, he says he loves me but I'm his first serious girlfriend and I'm not sure he knows what love is exactly (not that anybody really does). Admittedly, we don't have much in common, some of our values are quite different, we never have deep/stimulating conversations or tell each other secrets and shit like that, we're not really close. I just don't think he's that type of person, maybe we're different people? I also think he's stopped enjoying sex as much. We don't really do much together because we're both young and don't have a lot of money but we spend a lot of time together at his place, except he has house mates who are ALWAYS there, it's okay sometimes but it would be nice if my boyfriend could make an effort to move to another room so we could spend time just together. (I'm a very anxious person and have trouble making conversation in a room full of people, it makes me feel very uncomfortable and he knows this but it doesn't seem to register.) I also have some mental health issues which he's aware of but doesn't seem remotely interested in, he doesn't ever ask me how I'm coping or anything and that's something I'd like support with. I'm not sure what he thinks of the relationship or if these things ever cross his mind, he just seems so clueless! I can't bring myself to break up with him because I know he means well, I want to love him but I think I'm more attached than anything, I can't see my life without him and I don't want to end it, he is literally the only person I've got.

I tried to speak to him about something before but he took it the wrong way and started talking about how much of a shit boyfriend and useless person he is and we both got quite upset, the problem continued and when I tried speaking to him about it again, he'd forgotten completely.
How do I speak to him without upsetting him or damaging the relationship?
I just want to make things work, do you think it's possible?

[HeartIsAching]

What did you say to him the first time?

[confxsed]

It was about not spending enough time doing things together other than sat inside watching tv. Only I worded it better and it took me a hell of a lot of guts to talk to him about. it.

[basilandthyme]

What's stopping you from initiating the activities you'd like to do? Lead by example.

What's stopping you from asking your boyfriend to go into his bedroom with you for quiet time? Have you ever told him how much you enjoy that quiet time away from the flatmates?

As for the mental health issues, I know he doesn't ask you about them - but does he listen and support you when you need to talk? To be honest, I wouldn't go asking someone (even a partner) about their mental health unless they raised the topic themselves....so I'm not seeing that he's doing anything wrong. He probably feels (as do I) that if you're not discussing the problem, then it's all fine.

What I'm seeing here is that you're wanting him to read your mind. And guess what - he can't do that. Instead of telling him what he's doing wrong, tell him what you'd like to do. It's all in the delivery.

[confxsed]

Nothing, apart from anxiety and not wanting to sound clingy, I don't like asking him to change things because then I feel he doesn't want to put in any effort himself. Sometimes I'm not even sure he actually wants to do stuff together.
(And it's not that I particularly want to talk about my issues, it'd just be nice for him to show he cares, I guess that's more on the irrelevant side here.)

After re-reading my post, I can see that it looks like I want him to read my mind but I've dropped so many hints, it's common sense not to treat your girlfriend like a **** buddy.
He's just so difficult to talk to, it seems like he gets upset and makes me feel bad so I don't raise the topic again. I guess I should say something though, thanks.

[HeartIsAching]

Stop dropping hints. That shit drives is absolutely batshit. It often causes me to dig in my heels. Got a neighbor who's a good friend, but she uses passive aggressive shit like that all the time. She seldom asks for something straight out, and I won't take the bait and offer.

As bnt suggested, just say what it is you want.

[Woods]

Women are riddles sometimes and he's not going to suddenly have an epiphany of what you want him to do. I appreciate that can be frustrating (and from the sound of things this guy just isn't doing it for you, anyway) but by not being clear with him you're not giving him the chance to make you happy. It's like the others have said, it's all in the phrasing. Instead of stating what you don't like, state what you would like i.e. 'when I visit you today I'd really love it if we could have time alone instead of sitting with a group' or whatever.