Mind is split about ex

[Simpo]

So I am going to an event with my ex in the beginning of November and I have no idea how it is going to go or feel about it or how she feels about me. I'm really excited about the event (WWE - wrestling for those who don't know) just not on the whole hanging out together for a whole day and night. (staying at travelodge in a family room so two beds)

Quick back story, we split up due to her moving home for summer, so distance and we were in a rough patch and didn't have time to fix it and she felt at the time she loved me but not in love with me so broke up and were both really hurting about it but decided no contact would be good for a while.

3 months on with nc, she moved back up and we met up to catch up but she had a bf and been seeing him for 2 weeks. We met, had a drink (coffee) and chatted and innocently flirted and what not. Then 3 days after we caught up, she broke up with her bf. I asked about it and she said distance was an issue. (so clearly my ex has a thing about distance + not sure if meeting me again had any affect on this or im simply over-thinking it)

So now this event and her is constantly on my mind and have no idea how to go about things. I can kind of predict that we will probably have sex on this trip since usually when your in close proximity with someone you've been close to or intimate with it kind of just happens. (also we ended up having sex the day we broke up so not great at controlling our urges)

If this did happen then I don't know how I would feel, part of me would like us to get back together but I'm afraid that we'll just break up again when she moves back down, another part wouldn't mind being friends with benefits since then at least I won't be heart broken if anything happened and the other part of me thinks just class it as a one off and leave it as it is. All this assuming we even have sex...

any advice or thoughts on this is greatly appreciated

[cbad]

She's told you explicitly that distance is an issue for her and that she isn't in love with you. It sounds like you guys like each other, but not love. I mean, no offense, but your post is mostly focused on the sex you'll be having with her. You keep bringing it up. But even then, it's just because you'll happen to be in close proximity to her, which really doesn't make me think you feel very strongly about her, either. Bottom line is neither of you have really expressed a desire to fight for the relationship, so that tells me as an outsider that you probably don't feel that strongly about it in a true sense. Again, no offense.

[Simpo]

no offense taken. I understand it may of come across like that but I do truly care about her, and do feel very strongly about her and am willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work but not so sure if she is. Tbh I've probably thought about her everyday since we met and even after we broke up. I'm slightly focused on sex since I haven't had it for a while and know that something sexual may happen at the event and thats whats making me have these thoughts

[cbad]

OK, but she's still said that distance is an issue. Now, look, if a GUY says that, I can understand because we're all horny and stuff. If a GIRL won't even try for a short time to keep up a LDR, then she's not interested.

[searock]

OK, but she's still said that distance is an issue. Now, look, if a GUY says that, I can understand because we're all horny and stuff. If a GIRL won't even try for a short time to keep up a LDR, then she's not interested.

WTF - I'm a girl and I would hate long-distance and a huge part of that would have to do with the lack of sex. Girls have sexual urges too you know.

[cbad]

If you're a girl and you won't even try for a short time to keep up a LDR, then you're not interested. I stand by my statement.

[searock]

D'uh, but the same thing goes for a guy. Any person that is interested will try to make an LDR work for a short time.

[Simpo]

Okay, well I am interested in putting in the effort but since she doesn't want to put in the effort at a LDR then she's not interested? Note: that we did consider it for a while on the day we broke up but due to the situation/rough patch we thought it would be hard for us to make the LDR work. She told me that she didn't want to have a LDR since the last two relationship she tried them and it just hurt both of them and lack of intimacy and being able to see/touch each other really bothered her

[cbad]

That's right. Basically, she feels about you the same as she felt about those other two guys. She's telling you that you're not worth more effort, so what does that say?

[searock]

She is being rational and mature: she knows that LDRs don't work for her, therefore she is unwilling to waste time and energy trying to make something that she know won't work work. You should let it go.

[Simpo]

well a bit crushing tbh. so... what should i do?

[cbad]

You can do anything, but just realize that she's not going to be in a relationship with you. So, if you just want to watch the wrestling, just do that. If you want to have sex with her, do that. That's not the point. The point is that whatever happens on that trip is going to end at the end of it, according to her own words. So basically go forth accordingly.

[searock]

Exactly... if you want to go on the trip with her, have sex with her, by all means go ahead and do it. Just don't expect a relationship, because it's not gonna happen.

[Simpo]

Ok thanks for your input. Bit shitty that it has to be that way but I know your right I will need to just move on from her after the event. Just hard since she's all I can really think about just now and I have tried being with someone else but I knew I was still hung up on my ex so broke up with her before things got serious. Its hard to find a girl that likes similar inerests to me since im into games, cars and movies and so was my ex. Had very similar life goals too which makes it worse since I knew it could of worked out

[searock]

If that's the case, I think it's best for you if you don't go on the trip with her. It would only make moving on even harder for you.