My parents won't let me date this girl I really like

[sillywilly1234]

Okay, so i had this party for my birthday, after almost everyone left, there was just me and 4 other people. 2 of the 3 girls remaining, one of my best friends and the one i'm going to talk about, holly. they stripped down to their underwear and went into my pool, it was at night. after they'd come out of the pool, they put their clothes back on etc. etc. i don't really know what happened next (i wasn't drunk, i just don't remember) but me and holly kissed. my parents drove them home blah blah blah. so me and her met up the next day, it was awesome. the day after was school and the one after aswell. they were good too. i know it was only 3 days but that didn't matter, i was completely in love, and so was she, i couldn't believe i got someone as beautiful and amazing as her. but then, wednesday night, my parents wanted to have a word with me, they proceeded to tell me how they don't like aher and how she is dangerous for me and how she would start coming onto me sexually and i wouldn't be able to resist having sex with her and how the condom could break and it would ruin my life, and i know having a baby at this age would, but i couldn't convince them, they also didn't like the photos she put on facebook as they were inappropriate (e.g symbolising liking a girl out) and the stuff she puts on ask.fm. they told me if they saw me or found out i was still dating her after that they'd delete my facebook and shut down my internet and refuse to let me go out with friends. i was destroyed, i hadn't felt worse since...nevermind but since i was like 10. i told her about this and after a while of talking we decided it would be best if we didn't date behind my parents back as i thought she deserved a better relationship than that. i'm also moving to america in january, it was september at the time and with all this, we wer both really upset. but we still have the opportunity of the future. although, we discussed that since she's 14 and i'm 15, we might find someone else, but we'll still have feelings for eachother, at least i will. i don't really know what kind of feedback i'm expecting from you guys, maybe if the same thing has happened to you? do you have any advise of how to deal with this? if so, i'd really appreciate the feedback

[K_6]

Wait until you're at least 16-17 to start dating girls. Your parents are right, it's too soon for you to date a wild girl and you're moving away anyway. You will meet plenty of girls over the years and have much more fun.

[DalM0m]

I am REALLY hoping that BackUp is being sarcastic. Please don't follow that advice.

As teenagers, you are sort of stuck. You can't defy your parents. Try to understand their perspective; they want to protect you.

If you believe that this girl is not quite as risqué as she portrays herself on the internet and you really want to date her, gently explain to her that she's giving your parents the wrong impression. Get her to clean up her FB & tone down her attitude. Then quietly & respectfully explain to your parents that they may have misjudged her. Show them her new FB page. Ask them if she can come over for dinner or some such other thing so they can get to know the real her better. If she can manage to impress them & show your parents that she really is a nice young lady, I bet they will change their minds & let you date her.

[Starnique]

Yes. He was being sarcastic. Hope that makes you feel better. =)

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Not sure who authorized you to speak for me, but no I was not being sarcastic.

You absolutely can defy your parents and people do it everyday. From not coming home by curfew all the way up to murder, and everything in between, people defy their parents. Maybe I exaggerated, but the point is if you can tell them to **** off, do whatever you want, and not care about the consequences, then they have no leverage over you. It's very liberating. Do what makes you happy OP.

[Starnique]

Whatever.

Go ahead OP and disrespect your parents. Maybe he will let you come stay with him when they put your ass out.

[searock]

BackUp is just saying those things because he's a guy. (<--sarcasm)

SillyWilly, this girl doesn't sound like a good catch, to be honest. You think you are in love, but you are just infatuated with her. I think you should talk to your parents and tell them that you are old enough to make your own decisions regarding who to date (provided you keep inside the 14-15 age range). So what if you're going to end up having sex? Tell them you're responsible and you would never have sex while you or the other person is drunk, and that you would always use protection no matter what. Try to keep your calm while you tell them these things (even if they threaten to take away your internet access "for ever" or something), they need to see that you really are mature and responsible. People use condoms all the time, the truth is that they are actually a very secure contraception method. Don't say rash things like "but I love her so much!!1" because it's simply not true: you are infatuated with her, not in love. Just tell them something like "I really like her and I'm responsible enough to know how to not get too involved. I just want to spend time with her, make out with her and maybe even have sex with her, why not? It's not like I'm going to ask her to marry me or I'm going to run away with her or something - actually, I am aware that since we'll be moving to the USA soon, this will probably be just a short-term thing. I'm young and I want to experiment and try out new experiences, I see nothing wrong with that as long as I'm responsible about it". Unless your parents are religious freaks, you should be fine.

[DalM0m]

Not sure who authorized you to speak for me, but no I was not being sarcastic.

You absolutely can defy your parents and people do it everyday. From not coming home by curfew all the way up to murder, and everything in between, people defy their parents. Maybe I exaggerated, but the point is if you can tell them to **** off, do whatever you want, and not care about the consequences, then they have no leverage over you. It's very liberating. Do what makes you happy OP.

BackUp -- you do realize that the OP is 15 years old, right? Your advice is irresponsible. Yes, he has the power to defy his parents but that level of automony would be better exercised later in life, say after he can drive & support himself.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Whatever.

Go ahead OP and disrespect your parents. Maybe he will let you come stay with him when they put your ass out.

There's these crazy things called jobs. Maybe he gets one and moves out if they decide to kick him out once he's beyond the age of abandonment. I'm trying to let this kid know that the world is he peach and he should eat that mother****er. His parents will come around and if they don't..**** 'em.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

BackUp -- you do realize that the OP is 15 years old, right? Your advice is irresponsible. Yes, he has the power to defy his parents but that level of automony would be better exercised later in life, say after he can drive & support himself.

When he can drive and support himself he won't need to exercise that power. I'm telling him to make it more difficult for them to not let him do what he wants. Irresponsible? Maybe. Effective? Yes. He already can't do what he wants, so I say if he wants to date this girl bad enough, stand up to them. Nothing to lose but facebook.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Minimum wage ain't terrible when you have no bills. Even so, he'll be learning a skill and gaining experience.

Most people don't want to fight. They may flex, but when it comes down to it, they don't want to..especially with their kids. If he's a good kid, but shows some balls over this then, they may respect him for it and allow him to see her. If they don't I think he should do what the **** he wants. They can only take so much from you. I guess what really matters is how much he wants it and what he's willing to give up for it.

[searock]

I don't think it makes sense to get into a huge power struggle with your parents unless there's a really good reason - which is clearly not the case. This situation can be resolved with a responsible mature conversation. During the conversation, if your parents still don't agree to you seeing this girl, tell them that you are going to see her anyway, even if it means they will take away your internet or whatever. You can see her at school, right? And your parents can't lock you inside the house for ever. Just prove to them that you are responsible and strong-willed and they will eventually realize that nothing bad is going to happen to you if you date this girl.

[Starnique]

I tried that growing up and that shit didn't fly with my mom. I was rebellious but I had my reasons.

I didn't think you would advise someone to talk to parents like that and be serious, especially if you won't talk to yours like that???

[HeartIsAching]

Wait until Christmas. Don't get your parents anything, and when everyone wakes up Christmas morning, tell your parents you want to date that girl. If they say no, tell them you hate them and you hope they die. Start drinking, doing drugs, and being a badass. When they threaten you with facebook, tell them to suck your cock.

Dude, there's something wrong with you.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I won't talk to mine like that because I don't have to. I pretty much just did what I wanted to, for the most part they were okay with that as long as my grades were good. If they had tried to stifle me, particularly in that area, I would have raised hell.