friendzoned, how to get out

[anonymous123.]

hi all,
sorry for the name, just want to stay anonymous
but any advice would be greatly appreciated as i badly need it

heres my story,
at the start of september i started texting a girl about training and the gym and diet,
she was texting me every day for advice, and i always texted back and gave it to her,
then we started to go to the gym about a month later, we went all the time,
but about 2 weeks later i told her how i feel about her and that i like her,
she said that she just wants to be friends and that its up to me to continue on being friends if i want to,
so i decided il try it out with being friends,
i am very nice to her, even too nice,
we started going to the gym again and got on great together,
i then told her that i like her again last week and said i cant be her friend anymore so i decided to pull away and try to forget about her,
but she got very upset over it and she really wanted me back as a friend,
i got a text off a different number saying ''love you'' as well as a few other things, but i think it might have been her because i know the way she texts,
she just said that she wants to be friends again so i decided to give it another go and told her i wont make that mistake again,
what i dont understand is why does she keep wanting to be my friend so bad if i upset her,
if that was any other girl i would have been long forgotten about,
any advice would be great
thanks.

[pcmaster]

For me looks like she have BF and she just wants attention. If so theres no much you can do. Get to know whats going in her private life by asking her and then just go from there.

Whatever happens keep going to gym. Thats a good thing and should not be given up.

[basilandthyme]

She's kidding herself if she thinks that the two of you can be just friends. She knows you have 'more than friends' feelings for her and as such, it was always going to be too complicated.

She's also being disrespectful to her boyfriend when she wants to keep you around knowing your feelings. Imagine if you were her boyfriend and she kept another guy around who had feelings for her. Not so good, is it.

[anonymous123.]

sorry i forgot to say that she is single.

[pcmaster]

Well maybe just not her type. But it doesnt matter. Just physically escalade, touch her kiss her and see what happens. Often we guys think that girls like us like friends until try something more and it magicaly works and friendzone was just in our heads.

This may help

[michelle23]

Look if a girl likes you she will know it straight away. She will know if theres future potential within a month of getting to know you. Theres no point pretending to be her friend in the hope that shell one day change her mind. She wont.

She likes the attention you give her, its an ego boost. Have some self respect and tell her straight, you dont want to be her friend, you want to date her and if shes not interested-fine but your not sticking around to be her gay best friend so bubye.

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[smackie9]

Girls can be emotionally attached but have no sexual attraction to you. Yes signals they give off like flirting, hugging, saying love you, can be misinterpreted as attraction. Sadly girls are clueless thinking it's ok to do these things even when they establish "just friends" status to you.
Basically all you are is a BF without benefits.

Getting out of the friends zone is difficult because she didn't find attraction to you in the beginning. It takes 7 seconds for a girl to know whether you are BF material or not. So your chances are very slim to none.

The key to attraction to to make yourself less available to them. As you have seen when you walked she started texting you....this is because you ignored her. You want it to happen more like this you need to be aloof, stop hanging out with her, stop making plans with her, don't answer her texts right away or at all. Just show up at the gym, spend very little time with her, talk to other girls, be preoccupied when she talked to you, but do give her a small amount of attention when she really pushes for it. This is called the push and pull method and it can be a great tool to create attraction.

Your biggest mistake was telling her you have feelings for her. That makes it awkward. Your best move is to ask for a date by the 2nd week. You need to be confident, and not a doormat. You make them earn your attention, never give it to them so freely.

[pcmaster]

Keep going to gym and talk with trainer. Get your diet right too and once girl sees that you stay on your way and progress she will respect you even more. Once you are in best shape ever looks will do a lot of job for you before you even talk with her. Also it will make other girls feel easy to get and boring.

[anonymous123.]

thanks for the advice everyone,
im going to play it out and see what happens,
just finding it hard to be just a friend but hopefully il get used to it, and il start talking to other girls to take my mind off her,
and yeah il cut down on the texting and leave her come to me,
as for the gym, im in good enough shape as it is anyway and my diet is spot on so there is nothing to worry about there,
thanks all

[searock]

You can't "get out of the friendzone" because the fact that you "are in the friendzone" simply means that she is not attracted to you, nor ever will be, but she still enjoys your company as a friend. This is what "friendzone" means. You have to find the courage to stop being in contact with her no matter her attempts at keeping in touch (she is probably very young/immature to not realize that she is hurting you by not letting you go), and you will be able to move on.

[Luis64]

Reading this kind of made me sad as I’m going through the same. I have tried all, EVERYTHING IN THE BOOKS, GOOGLE, FRIEND ADVICES and nothing works. Be careful, because from liking her you can fall for her and over the time of being in love, she will turn into someone you genuinely care to a level (kind of like a family) that you won’t be able to run away as it will be simply heartless to do so.

[michelle23]

You cant force someone to love/want you. Full stop so stop trying to

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