What you let go and comes back to you freely, destiny?

[amylouise]

My story is a little long, but it's one of those that makes me feel like I'm in some sort of movie. Please help me.

Ok let's start with me failing my a levels. I went to an amazing sixth form, but for some reason it just didn't work out for me. I cried for a long time and felt like I had to leave so I could start new. I looked at a college but didn't like and decided to go to another local sixth form down the road from me. I lasted a day there, it was so rough and awful but won't go into that. I came home and I cried for a long time and felt like I had no future, I was a college drop out and I had nothing. The very next morning, I receive a phone call from a science and engineering School saying they can offer me a place (the college must have passed on my number as science is my interest). Two days later I started and we were taken to the science museum. We were there all the students getting to know each other where all of a sudden I came across this one student teaching another how to speak German. It was as if all my attention went to this one individual and I just felt something instantly (his German speaking wasn't what pulled me in although it was pretty impressive) but I felt something strange inside. I had asked him what he wanted to do after college and he said to become a pilot. We had a laugh that day and became friends. That was on the 20th September 2012. Since then we have been texting (mainly about chemistry homework). A girl from one of our classes had a party where we all felt excited as our first gathering. We were texting each other about who would get drunk first, just being friendly and making each other laugh. The party came and it ended up me getting drunk and he stayed sober the night. I was dancing and I noticed him staring the whole time. Every time I walked out the room he followed. I was quite drunk to be honest and it got to the point where he just stayed with me; he was looking after me, making sure did nothing silly. We ended up me and him on a lounge sofa, me leaning on him, his arms around me, waiting for me to sober, at the same time my head leaning on his, and him stroking and caressing my hair. He watched me get into my dad's car to go home and asked me to text when I got home. The very next morning, exactly one month later on the 20th October 2012, we became one. That night I told someone I liked him when I was drunk and he found out and asked me that morning. He wasn't sure if it was true. I told him everything and thought I'd embarrass myself, the he said, "do you know what darling, the feelings mutual, and has been since the science museum trip". I never felt anything so wonderful and full fulling as being with him. We created so many trips, holidays, laughter and memories. We had so much love for each other and we had so much faith. The first time we were on the plane he said "I hope that this will be me one day, and I hope to take you flying around the whole world". How wonderful I felt with him. He never once made me cry, we have never argued, we got on so well and he looked after me. His mum is disabled, their relationship is very close. I grew a close relationship with her also, she called me family and kissed me on the forehead. But one day on the 29th November 2013... He ended it with me. Our pressure was immense with a levels we started to speak less but still felt strong. He decided to sacrifice me, because in his head he wants to do well, he loves his mum and family and wants a successful career for them to enjoy. That meaning at the same time, he is a career person. He also said that he never wants to be in a relationship anymore and never wants to get married. All because he loves his mum and wants to look after her, and I respect that. I cried for days, and so did his mum, but I don't think she knows the true reason, only that we cannot spend enough time. A recent nye party, and we both went, he kept a friendship distance, but was still keeping an eye on me secretly... later I thanked him. We both still love eachother, he has many sensitive, tender qualities to him and doesn't want to tell me incase it will upset me. Reality though, pilots do spend a long time from home, but when he comes back I suppose he wants to spend it with his mum and look after her. But I know he will always love me and I will always love him. Right now we are slowly pushing our feelings for each other at the back of our heads because it's the only way forward, but it's s there.

My question is, do you think he will change he his mind about not wanting to be married? I've let him go, and I am willing to wait a few more years to see what will happen, even if I will meet other people. But I believe in destiny, I believe I failed my A levels for a reason, I could have ended up else where do finish them. Also, he gave up a cabin crew job to come to our school. (I am 19 and he is 20). All these small things, we wouldn't have met, but only by chance... and now I believe it's faith. Do you think someone can lead an Un married life? Knowing that you have already met the love of your life?

[AnErin]

Well, THAT was easy to read, might want to go back and leave out the unnecessary details and maybe paragraphs a bit.
What I gathered...
Look, giving up is not the answer. Maybe you two hit a snag. Marriage is not a big thing but what IS a big thing is the relationship you two decide to have. Talk to him! Work on things. Go with the flow. Now let me nullify excuses-

Too young? Hmm, last time i was "too young" at 21, I was getting married for 14 years. We grew apart but 14 year is nothing to sneeze at.

Not perfect - NO ONE is perfect. that isn't what one should seek. they just have to have more good than bad qualities.

Family doesn't approve - Oh piss on them. this is between you two.

Have other things going? Perfect. You two can pull together as a TEAM to fight the world. My ex and I were unstoppable when we worked together.

Marriage vs Not? - A piece of paper does not define a relationship.

You and him need to figure out if you can join forces and kick ass together in this world.

[DalM0m]

yes, I do think that one day he will change his mind about wanting to get married but I don't think he will change his mind about marrying you. Sorry.

His excuse about wanting a career is just that an excuse. If he truly loved you he'd fight for your relationship, not offer up lame excuses for ending it. I don't know why, but for him, your relationship has run its course.

[basilandthyme]

I've known plenty of men who were never going to marry and who later changed their minds. However, they changed their minds after meeting a different woman.

Sorry.