Ladies Please read My post, Many Thanks.

[Austin1uk]

Hello. I'm Austin from the Uk.
I've decided to post in this section as I would like honest upfront
Feedback,
must say this has been very difficult for Myself but I have to start somewhere so hear goes.
I have children from a long term relationship of 13 yrs
Wich broke down a little over 3 yrs ago and have been single single up until recently of August 2013.
I met My current partner of 5mths on a dating site, to wich I full heartedly admit
That I pretty much fell in love with her the moment we started replying to one another,
I knew she was My soul mate, please excuse Me for going on, you see I have fallen so deeply in love with her, we have discussed each other's past and lives, we both agree communication is the key,
To be upfront and being honest to each other,
I'm not a bad person I've never hurt anyone intentionally or cheated anyone in My life,
So why did I feel the need to tell what I thought were little white lies
On My profile,
I lied about having a driving licence and also My age (35)
Although I look early 30s and look after Myself it's no excuse,
I know why I did it.. It was because I thought I would be more appealing,
But what it has done is making Me feel physically sick, and discusted with Myself.
I have been so true to My new partner, in everyway possible, emotionally and financially
Although I don't earn a huge amount, I put My children her and her children first every time.
But this lie about My age and driving is absolutely killing Me,
The longer I've left it the harder it is to come clean,
She already has suspicions and has started to cause a trust issue after everything we have
Talked about and agreed about being true to one another.
I am so petrified of losing her, I love her with all My heart
And I just want to continue to build upon a strong foundation of love & trust.
She sent Me a message just last night saying she's finding things difficult to trust Me
And is a little weary of Me being truthful now in general.
Can You ladies please offer Me advice.
I can't take this burden anymore I hate it and want to start fresh no hidden tales,
And continue to show her as I have always done, just how much I love her and her kids as My own.
Thank You for reading and hearing your views
Thanks again x

[UKRomantic]

So, have you now told her your proper age and that you don't have a driving license?

If so, the only thing you can do is everything in your powers to gain her trust back.

Obviously no more white lies!

[Austin1uk]

Thankyou replying, I really need to Manup,
I'm so upset, no I haven't as yet, I'm debating as to the best way,
Either in person or maybe a hand written letter or something.
She isn't being herself at all so she knows something's not quite right,
I just don't know how to go about it, I truly do not want to lose her,
But it's not about Me, it's about what I've done and how she is going to feel & the effect it may have.

[UKRomantic]

Do it face to face.

Sit her down, and tell her. It will be much better this way for both of you. She will see how much you really regret the lies, and you will also be able to gauge her reaction.

[Austin1uk]

Thankyou again for taking time out for Me.
I was thinking just that, sending a letter I thought may have it's advantages,
As one can put everything down as face to face she's going to feel angry upset
I may not get the chance to continue, but I would prefer
In person, I won't be able to see her now until 7th jan, I guess i will send her brief but caring messages
Until then

[UKRomantic]

Just be nice, try not to seen like there's anything wrong.

Keep her interested.

[Austin1uk]

Thank You again.
I'll keep You all posted in case someone else had made same mistake
And hopefully learn from it.

[L-Jay]

Hi Austin, Im in a similar situation but on the receiving end of the lies. I am involved with someone online, when we started talking it wasnt with the intention to get involved. He admitted to lying to me twice and now I suspect there have been a lot more. If your girl listens to you and forgives you tell her you will provide evidence in the future of anything she may doubt you on, and dont get angry with her if she feels insecure at times and expresses her doubts. Support and reassure her, if you are serious get her anything she needs as proof. And yeah dont be even slightly tempted to lie to her again. The guy who has been lying to me is from the UK too.

[Austin1uk]

Morning L jay.
This has been absolute craziness, how it all started I simply thought I would seem
More attractive to a perspective new partner, and simply confess very early on,
I had absolutely no idea that I would completely fall in love with her,
I have always been straight down the middle in everything, especially with her.
Nothing has changed apart from My stupid lies on My profile.
I'm hoping she can see past this and actually realise I am true to her and have been true to her in every way.
There is no way I can justify it & I have no intentions of doing so.
I'm continually beating myself up over it,
If she can see past this stupid error I have made then I am free from this
Guilt I have nothing to hide. I made a horrible mistake & the most hurtful thing of all is that it's going
To hurt her, I am so in love with her, I was in a mentally abuse & manipulative relationship for many yrs,
Dealing with the affair she was having, I truly believed I would never find real true love & to be loved back in the same way,
But now I have and I'm petrified of losing her, I want to spend the rest of My life with My new partner.
Sorry to hear about Your situation, I don't know how far Your relationship has evolved, there are people that continually lie for whatever reasons, & others who have just made a horrible mistake. Wish You all the best, I think that's a good idea too,
About providing proof in nr future if any doubts arise, thanks again.

[Austin1uk]

Just like to post this simple message to any persons on loveforum
Who can relate to my post.
If You are thinking of telling lies no matter how insignificant
I strongly advise Don't.
Just the thought of doing everything right, and to potentially blow everything
On stupidity would be devastating.
I hope it's not to late for Myself all I can do is continue to be Me
And hopefully it will work out

[MarySmith]

Just tell her. It's not like you're coming out and telling her that you've had a sex change. Or will the age difference then be significant? I'd be upset if I'd accepted a 10 year age difference and then suddenly got told that there was a 20 year age difference. Other than that, I'd think that anyone who has experience in dating sites knows there are bound to be one or 2 white lies to begin with.... just come clean as soon as possible.

[Austin1uk]

Mary.
I'm 41 as opposed to 35 and she is 31, we were light heartedly chatting and the subject of birthdays / date of births etc came up, taking into account this horrible burden is with Me constantly, it wasn't the right moment to confess, as her children were present, anyhow I made some pathetic attempt with regards to My date of birth, this was new yrs day.
She txt Me a message the following day explaining that conversation about My birth date was bull sh.t and feels she can't trust what I say,
We have been exchanging messages even today, but I really need to sit her down and talk from My heart as I have been doing and just confess to a stupid thing I've done and I do feel absolutely riddled with hurt and guilt.
In all honesty I just want nothing more than for us to get over this,
I can't explain to her enouph how I cherish her with all My heart

[smackie9]

Well that's a really crappy way to start off a relationship. She's going to find out eventually so you better tell her, and don't be a chicken shit about it, tell her face to face. Holding off this long makes you look like a selfish p rick. If you truly love her, you will tell her and accept whatever the outcome.

BTW doing this by email makes you look even more douchey. You OWE her the truth in person.

[Wakeup]

Thankyou replying, I really need to Manup,
I'm so upset, no I haven't as yet, I'm debating as to the best way,
Either in person or maybe a hand written letter or something.
She isn't being herself at all so she knows something's not quite right,
I just don't know how to go about it, I truly do not want to lose her,
But it's not about Me, it's about what I've done and how she is going to feel & the effect it may have.

So just HOW have you been able to manage not letting her know that you don't have a drivers license if you've been dating her since August? Just how often do you get to see this girl that you've become a basket case over?

[Austin1uk]

Hi smackie.
I totally agree, why the hell did I do it in the first place,
Absolutely pathetic I know,
I have every intention of talking with her and I just hope she can forgive
At the end of the day regardless of how I feel, it's going to have an effect on her
And all I can do is be honest as I have been doing hence My stupidness,
Why the hell didn't I just spit it out very early on.
Thanks for your comment that's exactly what I want, folks on here not beating around the bush and tell it straight
As You guy's have.
I've done wrong and yes admittedly I'm worried and I guess man enouph to say I'm scared.
Scared of losing her when I have been true to her in every way possible by just being Me.