My partner & I have been having problems for ages. We have been best friends, since university, for 10 years & have been together for 3 years. One day I smashed the window & he said he would live at his mum's for a while. During arguments like this, I have smashed things & basically physically abused him. Slapping, scratching & once ripping his shirt off him before he has to be at work.I have kicked him and made him cry. All the time we have been living together I have been dealing with depression. No excuse, just fact. He has been my rock, sat down with me on countless occasions to write 'productivity schedules' & tried to ween me off marijuana. But I never bothered, I haven't wanted to face the fact of having a mental health issue. I just find faults in him to point out, to blame for our horrid bad relationship habits. I have known he wouldn't leave me. After the window, He said he couldn't bare living me & needed some time apart to think. He phoned me daily to see what I was up to,saying we will take it slowly & spend time together before he moved back in. I ended up splitting up with him, out of insecurity.He sent me emotional msgs, begging me not to give up on us. I told him we were over. I felt so out of control and outraged at his rejection. I know very immature & self centred. After a day or so I msged him to talk, he agreed to meet up, but he cheated instead a night over the weekend we were meant to meet. I He confessed a few days later & says he did it out of spite & to 'make his move'. He said he was angry with me and in his mind we were over. He now says he is devastated by what he has done, regretted it straight away and 'knows he loves me'. We have so much work to do and I feel betrayed. I don't know what to do. He is amazing, I love him.