If you don't know how to ask a girl out, read this!!!

[lilwing89]

Okay, so you are a guy, and after all the broken crushes you had, you finally decided to stand up for yourself and make a move!
Just one problem; you don't quite know how to make that move..

We all know the story here on LF, and this is to answer anyone's question on "How to ask a girl out" or anything under that Heading.

I know that there will always be someone struggling in their love life, as I once did, that is why I am here to help you all. To everyone who feels left behind, all the "nerds" who say they aren't worth any girls time, to any guy who just needs some help with this stuff, you came to the right place.
And I want you to know, that it won't always work out, and you will be heartbroken sooner or later. So stand up, be a man and accept your destiny.

Everything I have learned(that is included in this) is from self experience/websites like LF where I seek help and advice.

On with the main lesson....


Well all of you who are reading have that perfect girl in mind, I'm sure that is why you are here. Now unless you want to live how you have been living(not knowing the girl, and feeling hopeless and feeling like you will never have a girlfriend) the first thing you want to do is become acquainted with her. Just simply, next time you see her, introduce yourself.
Example:
You-"Hi, my name is (fill in your name here), what is your name?"
Girl-"My name is (whatever the girl's name is)."
She might ask how you are doing. Always be prepared to answer any question like this. Pay attention to what she says, don't be looking at her breasts, and don't wander your mind off in other places(believe me, it all happens), glance into her eyes occasionally, and nod your head from time to time(not too much) and throw in a "Yes, I agree.", or a "I see what you're saying.", from time to time to let her know you are paying attention to her. Keep the conversation going.
If you don't have much time to talk to her(or she says she has to go), tell her you have to split, and you would like to talk to her some other time.
Example:
You-"Hey, well I have to get back to work now...I would like to talk to you some other time, could I have your email address/phone number?"
Ask for the email address if you feel more comfortable talking on the internet...or ask for them both!
Also sadly, she might say no, this is the world of dating, you have to move on and find another girl, that is what dating is all about. Perhaps if you couldn't take this very well, then you aren't ready to date or anything.
On the other hand, if she gives them to you, then GREAT!
You also want to let her know that you will call her/email her sometime.
Example:
You-"I'll call you sometime."
(you will come off as confident, and also she will want to know when.)
Girl-"What time are you going to call?"
You-"How does (time you want to call) sound?"
Girl-"It's good, talk to you then!"
You-"Have a good day!"
Note: If she says the time isn't good, just pick another time, don't panic or anything, just pick another time. And if she doesn't ask when, just call whenever you can.

Now after you got the number/email address, the key thing here is SHOW HER that you HAVE a LIFE. Don't email her/call her the second you get home, she might get a little freaked out by this. Wait a day or two, then make contact.(if you call and get the machine, DON'T leave a message)

After all that, you will want to become friends with her, and build trust with her. Get to know what she likes, finding things that you both like, then tell her some stuff you like. Keep the conversation at a nice flow and don't say too much, and show much confidence and be yourself, all at the same time. You are probably thinking right now "Oh man! This sounds really hard!" It really isn't, and even if it is, after a while it won't be so hard, and you will get the hang of it.


After a while find out if she has a boyfriend(casually). Then if you can keep the same subject, ask her what kind of guys she is into. Whatever she describes is exactly what you want to be. Just do this without being another person, and she will start liking you.
Give it some time, maybe 2-3 weeks, or even a month. You want to take your time so you don't come off as desperate or obsessive. Don't call her every day, and don't talk to her every day(this is how people come off as obsessive).
Maybe after a month or so(IF she doesn't have a boyfriend) if you like her, ask her if she wants to hang out if she hasn't invited you already.(Once again you might get rejected, and you need to back off and just forget about it, this is how dating works). Here is how I suggest doing it. Think of the things she likes to do for fun and then think of things you have fun doing, then see where you could hang and get a little bit of both(or if you have the same interests then its perfect!) The key is for both of you to have fun, and if you both have fun, you will want to ask her to hang out again, and she will want to hang out again!!!
Example:
You-"So I'd like to take you to miniature golf sometime."(if you both like golf, or if not, choose something else)
Girl-"Okay, when is good?"
You-"How about (time that is convenient for you)?"
Girl-"Sounds like a plan!"
If she says that time isn't good, pick a different date.
After a few times of hanging out with her(and it goes good) mention to her that you have a lot of fun being around her and you really like her a lot.
Example:
You-"You are so much fun to be around!"
Girl-"So are you..."
You-"Ever since I met you I thought you were really cool, and now it's clear that I like you."
Girl-"I like you too!"
If she says she likes you back, then its time to ask her out.
You-"So I was wondering if we could go out to dinner sometime"
Girl-"You mean like a date?"
You-"Exactly!"
She will either say yes or no. If she says no, keep hanging out with her and show her that you really like her and you want to get with her, and that you aren't just looking to get laid. If she says no again, just forget about going out with her, and stay friends if you like...maybe after a while though she might want to go out with you.

If she says yes, congradulations my friend, I have served you well. You will want to do the same thing that you did when you were hanging out(and by God I hope you didn't take her to the same place every time), think about what she likes to do(or if she wants to go out to eat, think about what you both like to eat and choose a good restaurant to go to). Wherever you go, pick up the tab, even if she offers to pay for herself. It's the manly thing to do.
Be polite and don't be an ass to waiters. Have good manners, take her coat off for her if she is wearing one, hold the door open for her. If she compliments say thankyou, all that stuff. Maybe if you feel up to it, try that first kiss on her. The first kiss is what women take so seriously, they determine what you will be like in bed and all that other good stuff. So pucker up and be a man. Don't open your eyes either, that is quite rude. Don't try to shove your tongue down her throat either, just give her a tender kiss, see how long it lasts..don't give her any tongue on the first kiss, save it for later.

Be yourself is the most important thing I can tell you to be with ANYONE. If you aren't being yourself then the person doesn't really like YOU, and they like the person you are pretending to be!
If it goes well, ask her again, she will probably say yes..and after a few dates if they go well, ask her to be your girlfriend(I'm sure you don't need an example for this by now) and if she says no, be sad for a bit, then move on, it's the healthy thing to do.
If she breaks up with you or rejects you in any way, try not to get sad, just move on.
I hope my advice takes you far in your love life, and that is pretty much all the important stuff.
Good luck and let me know what you think/if this helps
-Lilwing

[Cybog]

#1. Never wait months and months to ask a chick out if you like her and the both of you are single. The longer you wait, the more "just friends" you become and there is no recovery from that.

If you meet a chick you like, Trust me when I say this - She knows right away whether or not she would date you / **** you. The more you pussy around and play footsies with her, the less confident you seem and the larger that gap between you and "Your chance to score" become.

You are simply wasting your time the longer you spend trying to "figure things out" with women.

#2. "I like you!" "I like you too!"..Do not talk about this garbage. EVER. This is all High school bullshit. Don't talk about how much you like each other. If you do, it will show. The more you point it out and sound like a desperate ass, the worse off you will be in the end.

#3.

Wherever you go, pick up the tab, even if she offers to pay for herself. It's the manly thing to do.

Again, rubbish. The more money you waste on a broad you may or may not end up with - the more of a fool you are. Women don't care how much cash you have, so stop trying to impress them. (This is, of course, unless you are after High Maintenance shallow broads)

If she offers to pay for herself, then good. Ever hear of a thing called Women's Rights? Equal Opportunity? Yeah, it works both ways. Some women are actually offended by you always paying ALL the time. So knock it off.

You aren't married yet, so until then, stop worrying so much about your shared income and let her pony up some doe every now and then.

#4.

If it goes well, ask her again, she will probably say yes..and after a few dates if they go well, ask her to be your girlfriend

Bad...bad....bad idea. Do you know how many of these pathetic problems that get introduced here could have been avoided if people STOPPED DOING THIS?!

People STILL think this is the 1800's and we have to exclude ourselves from dating more than one person.

WAKE UP PEOPLE.

One of the main REASONS relationships fail is because the two of them jump into the relationship WAY TOO FAST and don't realize what they are getting themselves into.

Here are a couple tips for a successful relationship:

a) If you say "I love you" within 3-4 months, expect a breakup.
b) If you call each other "boyfriend and girlfriend" within 2-3 months, expect a breakup.
c) If you are meeting her parents within 1 month, she has issues. (Unless it is a "family friends" type of deal.)

Time and time again people rush right into their relationship thinking "This is it!" and don't date around to find the right one.

YES, YOU CAN DATE MORE THAN ONE PERSON!

If you are dating a obsessive or controlling bltch, she will not like this. A broad who understands reality will realize that guys CAN date more than one girl at a time. Of course, sleeping with more than one chick has its own set of issues, but that's another thread for another time...

[lilwing89]

wow thanks cybog i learned alot in my own thread about helping ppl with their own relationships!

i should probably change the thread name to "If you don't know how to ask a girl out(and your in highschool!) read this!"
Or maybe..."Scroll down past the first post and read everything else!"

[lilwing89]

no wait..nevermind, not reading the first post wouldn't make cybogs response any sense...

but yea, if you have something to add to that, keep on adding.(anyone)

[shh!]

.

Here are a couple tips for a successful relationship:

a) If you say "I love you" within 3-4 months, expect a breakup.
b) If you call each other "boyfriend and girlfriend" within 2-3 months, expect a breakup.
c) If you are meeting her parents within 1 month, she has issues. (Unless it is a "family friends" type of deal.)
...

Right, as usual, except for your point C (if you are talking about teenagers). Lots of parents expect to meet the boys their daughters are dating, and when my daughter is old enough to date in 100 years, I will expect to meet those boys before she does (until she is an adult).

[Cybog]

I agree with that as well as far as teenage kids go. The dating game changes drastically once you are 18 and out of your parents house. New rules. New field. Etc. Points A and B are still in effect though, almost ESPECIALLY in High School.

[Tone]

Still good job Lilwing! And good job cleanin up Cybog ^_^

[lilwing89]

yes and thanks..
also i would like to throw in
although the odds are believable, all of you remember than every man/women/boy/girl is different. dont just believe the odds then just say "their right", and **** it, and just leave them hanging there.
you are going to do what you want, nomatter what me/cybog/tone/anyone on this site tells you, but if you make a mistake, DONT regret it....learn from it!

[Tone]

Yup, always remember it's better to try and fail than to not try at all and always live with regret.

[lilwing89]

yes always better...but dont live in regret for christ sake! learn from mistakes!