Ladies I need your advice badly!!!

[confusedguy1012]

So let's say you lost a child recently what would make you feel like you need to hide your feelings from your boyfriend?

[lh707]

That's a touchy one there buddy..........just be there for her and support her, the feelings for you aren't a priority right now.

[basilandthyme]

She may not be necessarily hiding her feelings from you......it could just be that she doesn't want to talk about it. Some people like to talk about their issues and some people like to internalise and work through it themselves. There's no right or wrong.

Of course, if YOU need to talk about it with her then by all means tell her how you're feeling.

[michelle23]

Everybody grieves in different ways. Some people cant talk coz its too painful. Just hold her hand or cuddle her. Sometimes thats all people need

[confusedguy1012]

Michelle she's so tuned out she doesn't even want that that's what worries me I'm afraid she hates me

[basilandthyme]

What do you mean by 'tuned out'? Can you describe her behaviour?

[confusedguy1012]

I mean she's been laying in bed in our bedroom barely eating not even sleeping really just laying there we haven't talked sense she lost the baby and the only time she talks is when she starts crying about how she misses it and when I try to comfort her she pushes me away

[basilandthyme]

OK, well she's certainly not hiding her feelings from you. But by the same token, it sounds like she can barely cope with the idea herself, let alone verbalise how she's feeling.

I think it could be time for you to seek some professional advice for her.

[confusedguy1012]

I have the next step would be to drag her to therapy and it's like she's shutting down

[basilandthyme]

No, the next step is for you to seek the advice of a therapist. Ask the therapist how best to approach the situation.

[confusedguy1012]

I don't get why she's so broken I mean I know its hard but I'd it bad enough that she needs to shut down

[michelle23]

How long ago did she lose the baby? How far gone was she in the pregnancy? Was it planned?

[confusedguy1012]

It was planned and like maybe 3 weeks ago and about 6,7 months

[michelle23]

Okay then her reaction is understandable tbh. She needs time. Be patient and things will get better. Its devastating to lose a baby at any stage of pregnancy but she was long past the first trimester where most miscarriages occur so it was likely the last thing she expected to happen. Its a shock and she needs to grieve. All you can do is stay strong until she is ready to face life again.

[confusedguy1012]

Ya your right but I really wanna help this just sucks watching someone whose given up on life