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Thread: Don't know if I should leave my girlfriend or if I can

  1. #1
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    Don't know if I should leave my girlfriend or if I can

    Don't know if I should break up or if I even can
    My girlfriend and I have been going out for well over 3 years now and have lived together for a year and this whole ride has not been easy. The problem lately i feel like I've had enough and need to just walk away from this relationship. But the question is should I?

    As I said we've been together for three years and for the first 5 months it was great until I had a night out and kissed this girl I worked with (just kissed that's all) and I've been paying for it ever since 2 and a half years later. Since that point there have been numerous situations where this whole relationship has gone sour. On numerous occasions she's felt feelings from several other guys (my youngest brother among them)
    And also I found out that she had signed up to 4 dating sites all of them saying that she "wants a relationship a trillion times better then the one she has", and when I confronted her on that she just said she only did it because she was mad she didn't really want someone else.She's become overly possessive to the point where for the last 2 and a half years I've lost all my friends because she feels that I need to be by her side forever (literally) i do martial arts as a hobby which she chuck massive tantrums should I attend any of them. Be in mind when she wants to see friends or go out on her time all she gets from me is " ok sweetie have fun". ( yes I can see I'm being whipped majorly) she's constantly telling me what to do even if she's more then capable of doing things herself. She's lazy and manipulative, just one of those people where if it's their fault they can easily warp words to make it your fault.
    She doesn't work and constantly asks money from me but at the same time expects an engagement ring before Christmas making it nearly impossible to save. She constantly puts me down but calling me stupid and retarded and when I stand up to her she's very quick to post it all on Facebook to let her friends know what an asshole of a boyfriend she has. And even this morning she got bored and decided to become very annoying like kicking me and using a piece of string to make the cat jump on me while I was on the phone sorting out moving to a new house and I told her to stop and she said " someone has their rude pants on toda. I mean that's how blind she is to what she does I have spoken to her hundreds of times but situations like that but no it's all my fault for being a terrible boyfriend.

    Now it's like why do I stay with her if she's like that. The fact is that she's good to me also she makes me dinner and she can be fun to be around and surprises me with odd gift every now and then which I like and of course I love her to me she is a rare find having almost everything in common.

    But there lies the dilemma I do not know whether I should stay or not. I feel lonely being without friends and if I leave her then I have nobody but is it worth it? And I don't know whether I'll be happy without her. The other problem is that if I should leave that I will be consumed by guilt because her family
    Kicked her out and I took her in. She's depressed and attempted suicide a number of times which should I leave may happen again. And of course she too will have no one as well. The last problem is that she's been in and out of hospital because of a kidney disease. For me to leave her would make me feel heartless.
    So there's my story I hope someone can offer some advice on what I should do.

  2. #2
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    You have a few choices: stay and put up with things as they are, leave and forget each other or get couples counselling and try to fix it. Its your choice.

    Personally I think you should have split up when you cheated coz your relationship has been messed up and dysfunctional ever since
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  3. #3
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    Lesson #1: There is always a way to exit a relationship, no matter how hard it may be.
    Lesson #2: If you're unhappy to the point of wanting to leave, the relationship is already over.

  4. #4
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    Never settle. Of us that have done this, are haunted by what if's and this is never an easy road. Many people stay in unhappy unions due to fear of being alone.

    The longer you stay with Miss.Wrong, the longer you'll be without Miss.Right.

    You could stay alone for years but at least, when you do meet her, you'll know you made the right choice and be happy for all the lonely moments that led you to her. She's out there, somewhere. I'm not saying your present Miss' isn't a good person. But it's obvious your not feeling it through and through and to deny a heart; well, that's just bad form.
    Take a chance. Follow your heart and embrace the solitude that will come, at least, for awhile.

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