Apologizing to an ex after months? Should I?

[AdviceSeeker94]

Hi! I've been thinking about this for a long time, whether or not I should apologize. We broke up in mid-November after being together for roughly 4 months. I know we weren't together very long, but we both came into each others life at such a crucial time, and we held onto each other pretty tightly. I always felt safe and comforted in his arms. I'd go as far as to say I loved him. However, he was involved in things that I did not agree with at the time, and things I did not understand. Eventually, we broke up because of this. We had a tough break up. It was not ideally how I would have liked it to end, and I handled it very poorly and did things that I regret. I haven't let it slip my mind. We tried to remain friends and we couldn't. Perhaps it was too soon to force a friendship. I call him from time to time. We have talked 3 times since we broke up and decided friendship was not right for us at the time. He has a lot of things going on in his life and I worry so much about him. He's not quite stable. I feel like my actions when we were together and even after hurt him. I hurt him when the last thing he needed was to be hurt. That's why I never quite forgave myself. I've dated other people since, and I can't. I'm not ready. I feel like if I apologized to him, and I mean really apologized maybe I can move on. But, I just don't know if it is a good idea. The apology is genuine and I mean it. I feel like I have to get it off of my chest before I can fully move on. Let's call it closure. I think often about how I wished he knew how sorry I was. I don't want him to hate me. But, this apology is not for myself alone. He spent a lot of time blaming himself for my actions and I think he needs to hear it. He should know he's not the one who screwed up despite me blaming him at times. What do I do? :/

[IndiReloaded]

Depends. Is this apology really just another way to hurt him? Is it to salve your guilt or do you think it will genuinely help him?

I suspect by now he's healing and moved on. So I would say that it would be selfish of you to try an apology now. Unless you want to be with him. Do you? If not, leave him alone.

[Wakeup]

A long time ago I had a boss that never treated me well so, I broke up with him. I quit that job with two weeks notice. At the end of the two weeks, he apologized for treating me so poorly and he didn't understand why he kept giving me such a hard time when I really didn't deserve it (true story).

I thought even less of him after that for wanting me to forgive him for his bad behaviour. pfffft.

Leave this boy alone and get your closure from within without dragging him into your issue of "needing his forgiveness" in order to forgive yourself.

He's more then likely not even thinking about "what you did" at this point so don't remind him.

[OrangeSun]

I wish my love would say sorry Id take back in secno judgement. Ive stayed there and not run away but I know the first move would need come from my love. Which my love is very proud but I need it from my love because I need to know I was worth it and loved also. So of u did the breaking take a chance. Better than not knowing

[smackie9]

Apologizing for what? You both were not compatible, that is nothing to apologize for, it's just a part of life. Stop stewing in your feelings for him, it will not change anything....time to let go and move on.

[Wakeup]

I wish my love would say sorry Id take back in secno judgement. Ive stayed there and not run away but I know the first move would need come from my love. Which my love is very proud but I need it from my love because I need to know I was worth it and loved also. So of u did the breaking take a chance. Better than not knowing

You said "my love" WAY TOO many times. If you're not being loved back then stop using that phrase because it just keeps you mired in your one sided feelings instead of allowing yourself to move on (like she has).

[moneyspills]

If you want to get your ex boyfriend back a little reverse psychology may be what you need to win your ex boyfriend back. Now this may sound complicated but in reality it really isn't. These reverse psychology tips will help you get your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of just brushing you off.

While this may sound rather simple and completely opposite of what you want to do, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back then you need to cut off all communication with him. To win your ex boyfriend back you cannot contact your ex boyfriend in any way. None, zip, zero. What this means is that you need to stop call your ex boyfriend, no text messages and absolutely no going to see him at the places the places he hangs out at or his home.

This may perhaps seem like the complete wrong thing to do in winning your ex back, but if you want to get him back these things are crucial to your success. Lets think about this one for a second okay? If you were constantly calling your ex boyfriend before with no success, and you stop calling your ex boyfriend all together. Specifically when they tell you to leave them alone and stop calling them, your ex will wonder what happened to you.

Here's a video to help you:

[smackie9]

This is unhealthy. If things couldn't be fixed, then why venture back into that misery.