She teases me a lot when around my friends

[pickler]

So I have been basically befriending a girl for over a month now. We both have been hurt in the past so we are not really too eager to date, specially her. But I'm basically the only person she spends time with now aside from when at work. She has also been a regular when I'm out with my friends.

One thing I noticed she is calm and collected when we are alone, is not afraid of touching me or joking with me. Laughs at my jokes and even helps me out (like making a bagel or sandwich).

But as soon as she comes around my friends she starts acting rather immature. Mocking me and teasing and sometimes taking bad photos of me and posting it on our whatsapp group. When I message her after the fact and tell her that her actions made me sad she quickly apologizes, but it happens again the next day. I'm not sure whether I should confront her more seriously about this or just laugh along. I don't want to be a clown but I also don't want to be a douchebag party pooper either.

I'm not quite sure what to do and what she means by it? Advice?

[searock]

Normally, teasing in a joking and light manner would indicate flirting, but in this case it's clear that she is actually upsetting you and disregarding your feelings altogether. I think that by acting that way, she wants to make sure that the rest of your friends know that she isn't romantically interested in you. If you are attracted to her, you should either (a) let her know by asking her out on a date, or (b) stop hanging out with her.

[smackie9]

She is a loner, and has latched onto you to entertain her. She is basically friend zoning you, and using you to have access to your friends to find a new BF. Don't be a sucker, ditch her and cut her off. She is useless to you.

[michelle23]

If your not ready to date then why have you befriended this girl? Men and women are never "just friends" not for too long anyway and right now you are friendzoning yourself and setting yourself up for future heartbreak

If her behavior is upsetting you, why tolerate it? Tell her you are not okay just being friends or having her humiliate you in front of your friends. She either wants to date you or she doesnt and if not, she can get lost.

Stand up for yourself and go after what you want

[pickler]

OK thanks for the advice.

I was not ready for dating at the time I met her. We were just talking at a party we met. Then slowly we started spending more time together over time until we became daily friends. My feelings at the time I met her was that I will never be able to date another girl again since I was in such emotional pain. I think it was same for her. Anyway things changed for me and I moved on quickly and I think i can handle relationship with someone other than my ex. However I'm not so sure about her.

Seems like everyone is telling me to get rid of her. I had no idea that I'm creating such a bad situation for myself. No clue she was taking advantage. So last night I told her I find some women confusing and it annoys me when sometimes I enter the friendzone unwanted. She gave no response and we haven't talked since. It will be hard not seeing her ever again as both my friends and myself have become somewhat Fond of her. But I don't want her stealing my friends and ruining my friendship with my friends.

Stuff I noticed :
She has no girl friends
Some guy friends
Still thinks about ex and has his pic
Constantly looks at hot celebrity male photos
Is more oriented towards what guys like than girls (soccer, cars and beer rather than shopping, makeup or hanging out with girls).

[basilandthyme]

I dunno what is socially acceptable in Canada...but here in Australia, if a friend puts shit on you, you put shit on them worse in return. Also, the more a friend puts shit on you, the more likely it is that they are comfortable around you.

My advice is to pay it back to her bigtime - but with a smile so she knows you're joining in the fun.

[pickler]

so I have been taking in some of the suggestions suggested here. I recently saw her yesterday and today. Yesterday I surprised her by going to her house with a couple friends. Soon as she saw my car she got out of her house and jumped in my car. Teasing soon started but it wasn't anything bad and I teased her even worst in return.

Today I went to her work with a friend and waited until she joined us at the park near her work.Also at one point she demanded i go get tea for her which i nicely rejected (don't want to be a provider ).I want to stress that I'm constantly making her laugh with cheesy replies and jokes (and sometimes dirty). For example she saw an old woman screaming and she said 'that's how your future wife will sound like, go drop the kids at school ', I replied with 'doesn't every wife sound like that?'. This gave her a laugh. It continued until some teasing started but this time I teased her back good. Sort of a roundhouse kick for every punch she threw deal. There was a lot of touching involved and she kept on saying i have bony hands but never pulled away though. Soon we got tired and left for home. During whole time my friend was pretty much a witness and he was somewhat alarmed by her actions lol. So she thought she scares him and started being very nice to him (she was always very nice to him though and called him her 'favourite person' once). This made me somewhat jealous I admit. Anyway when she got home we talked for an hour on phone until she went to bed.

Still not sure if she is interested or not, but she sure does like my company (at least all my friends say so).

[searock]

Again: ask her out on a date or stop hanging out with her.

[michelle23]

Ya the cycle just continues.. dont be that guy. Theres plenty of girls around who would like you as a boyfriend so dont waste time on an emotionally unavailable person who will never gjve you what you want

Everyone will give you the same advice-get rid of her. Shes a mess. Take it or leave it

Good luck