He treats me bad, idk what to do

[JustAGirl1717]

he treats me so bad, what do I do?
We are 20/21 years old weve been together for a little over 2 1/2 years. I cheated on him about 4 months into it and he knows. I regret it everyday. I was drunk but thats still no excuse. Well now every time he drinks he brings it up and about a week ago he made me sit in the car and ball my eyes out telling him every detail about it to torture myself and last night he wemt to the bars without me (which I hate, I get jealous easy) well he told me about it today and I was just like um what and he said its not a big deal and hung up on me. I wasnt yelling or anything but that didnt matter. Then later in the day he said hes tired of my s*** and doesn't care what im upset about and to never bring it up if I am.

I think I feel guilty and believe I deserve it for cheating on him but I really dont know what to do anymore and for the first time I really was consdering suicide when I was in my car that night. I had never felt so low.

Please don't say just leave him if it were that easy I would. And I cant talk to him about it because he just gets mad

[chinagirl]

If you can't leave him, go to a therapist and get some help. Maybe the therapist can give you suggestions or tools you can use to cope with your issues with him.

[basilandthyme]

What's stopping you from leaving? Serious question - is it financial/lack of outside support/something else??

[smackie9]

Oh my.....the problem is not you, it's him. He keeps you around so he can keep punishing you. Girl that isn't love, it's abuse, he constantly wants revenge.....that is so sick. Your low self esteem is what has go you into this mess. One, you cheated. Cheating is a bad act within itself yes, but it happens. Cheating can also be a symptom, an escape from either abuse or neglect or other issues in the relationship. Two, you didn't leave, can't leave, don't want to leave even tho he keeps roasting your hide about the incident. Three you would rather kill yourself as an alternative to breaking up with him. From what I see here is that his abuse was always in this relationship be for you cheated, was a symptom to cheat because you were so broken mentally. Cheating was your alternative to leaving him. You need to take a good look at yourself. You are co-dependent, you sacrifice your own self worth just to stay with this asshole.

Chinagirl is right, you need to find yourself a therapist or a support group for abused women....NOW! You have hit rock bottom, its time to get professional help.

[JustAGirl1717]

Well I guess it would be that easy so I guess maybe I just dont want to. We have fun together and whennits good its really good but when its bad its really bad. Ive had some bad things happen in my lifr my mompassed away when I was 16, so 4 years ago. So I went to a therapist and talked to her about that and then about him. It helped until I went back like a month later and I felt dumb for not leaving him I gueess and lied to her and told her it was much better. I just dont know i have hit rock bottom and im even on medicine for depression. I already know this is bad but its like im stuc or something

[smackie9]

Dear you need to start being honest with yourself before you can forward with this, and make the healthiest decision for your own sake.

[TheEvilJester]

Trust me, I think we all know how hard it can be to let go of a relationship. But, the best thing you can say about your relationship shouldn't be that it is really good.... WHEN IT IS GOOD. A good relationship should always be good, even at times when things get tough. A good relationship should be able to get through the tough times and only be stronger for it.

Now, you cheated, which was very wrong. Obviously you know that. So, he had a right to be upset, and a little mistrusting for a while. ....FOR A WHILE. He made the choice to stay with you and try to get over it. Unless you are leaving out important details, you didn't hold a gun to his head and force him to take you back. So, he voluntarily chose to try to get over it and move on with your relationship. So, that means he needs to either accept it, forgive you, and move on, or if he cannot forgive and forget, he needs to let you go.

If he can't do that, and it is effecting you so negatively that you are getting near to hurting yourself, then you need to get out of the situation for your own good. I know that is not what you want to hear, but this is not healthy for you. Though, all relationships have tough times now and then, things should never be THAT tough. If you and he are both serious about making this work, then I suggest you both seek the help of a professional. Perhaps even together as a couple. And, trust me, I am not meaning to judge. I think everybody could use a little professional help now and then.

Either way, good luck. I hope things work out for you, whether that means with this guy, or you eventually find somebody else (only if and when you break up with this guy).

[Wakeup]

You don't love yourself very much if you'd stay with a man that keeps punishing you and treating you like crap. Where is your support system? Your friends/family/father? Can none of them help you leave and then get you back into therapy? Make it a new therapist where you don't feel you need to lie to them to save face.

He is not going to change, in fact he gets off on punishing you for cheating on him so if you stay, then you are in for not more of the same but much worse as he continues to sooth his own ego by abusing you.

By staying with him you just hold yourself back from finding someone better then him. Get a new therapist and start being honest to him/her about what's going on with you.

If you come her for suggestions but do nothing with the help you've been given then you're never going to ever get treated better he's not going to suddenly start being loving now. So do SOMETHING to get yourself away from him.

[michelle23]

This relationship is dysfunctional and unhealthy. Your suicidal ffs and still you choose to stay and try to make it work. It wont work. Theres no trust, he has no respect for you, hes probably going to cheat to get revenge and he thinks its justified.

Look he chose to stay with you and forgive you 2years ago. If he cant get past it, he should have ended it like a normal person-not use it as an excuse to abuse you and hurt you.

You need therapy to give you the strength to walk away.

[goodmorning]

Please don't say just leave him if it were that easy I would. And I cant talk to him about it because he just gets mad

so what do you want us to tell you? marry him and have 5 kids? there's absolutely no way this is going to work out.

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where are your parents? why are they allowing you to remain in this abusive, dysfunctional situation?