To Pursue Her, Or Let Her Go

[eclayman]

Searock, I believe she *might*, I am not 100% confident. As I mentioned, she does seem like a really friendly person, just like I am, but I can't brush away the points I made in my first post, such as her staring when I talk, she asking me to help her transition into eating the way I do, and others.

What other information can I give? I'm not sure what all information is relevant, but I'll give it if I know it.

so..umhey, that is a problem I have. I over think a lot of things, which is a very difficult habit to break out of. I do think it has the potential to be the least stressful, I'll definitely be thinking about your advice.

[searock]

Searock, I believe she *might*, I am not 100% confident. As I mentioned, she does seem like a really friendly person, just like I am, but I can't brush away the points I made in my first post, such as her staring when I talk, she asking me to help her transition into eating the way I do, and others.

This is just over analyzing. It proves nothing.

What other information can I give? I'm not sure what all information is relevant, but I'll give it if I know it.

As I asked before: what group is it? Why would it be inappropriate for you to ask her out?

[pcmaster]

I think OP is just afraid to fail and look like a fool in society. He cares too much what other people think of him. Thats why he cant progress, because he wants to like everyone and thats why no one will like him. Theres in fact only one person he have to really like to and even then its okay to fail sometimes. What OP dont understand is when he actually enjoys the girl as much as he wants to(spiritually and sexually) other people wont matter anymore. And when they both are happy others wont mind and will respect them both.

Searock maybe you are type of girl who dont like her boobs to be touched in public and thats fine. But it doesnt mean that all the girls are the same. To each their own.

[searock]

Pcmaster, look at the faces of the women in those videos... don't you see all the cringes and fake smiles? We (women) get socialized since we are kids to always appear friendly and polite to guys no matter how uncomfortable we feel, so it's very difficult for us to react in situations in which a guy just straight up harasses and gropes - especially if it's in front of a camera and everybody is acting as though it's a perfectly normal thing to do. But just look at their expressions and body language. Do they honestly seem happy to you? Because I can assure you, they aren't.

[eclayman]

No, I am not afraid to fail. I've failed in the past and have no qualms admitting any of my failures.

I was trying to avoid being ostracized because that seems to be a prevalent attitude towards people like me, so I'll just throw it out there. I'm devoutly religious. I wouldn't give two cents for a girl who is not the same. But she's not only that, she's extremely fun and reflects my personality. You're right in that it's over analyzing. I've got a lot of psychology classes under my belt, it's difficult NOT to analyze everything people say and do, which is why you find me here. The group is a Church youth group that I just became a volunteer of AFTER she turned 18. And as I said, it's not until the past month or so during certain revelations about who she is and what she likes that I've become so interested in her. It would be inappropriate for me to ask her out because I'm in a leadership position right now. She has graduated and will no longer be a member of this youth group this coming fall.

I'm sorry I tried keeping that information to myself, I can see it might have been frustrating.

[pcmaster]

To calm you down I can say that many women had sex with priests so if God will want you to date her then you will. Theres no escape from Heavens will.

[nico88]

Ok..that makes more sense now.

I still say don't back off. What so..umhey said makes sense too. Just so she knows you're interested in seeing where things can go between you two, it might be smart to tell her your plans you know?

[pcmaster]

Actually I don't recommend this girl. Might be huge struggle for first girlfriend. The problem is shes 18 and you are 24. Just a few years would make a huge difference already but here is 6 years. What you have to take into count if you proceed with this girl is that she might see you as older and expect you to be smarter than her according to age. Also she might not take relationship as seriously as you and naturally girls just wanna have fun. You might find yourself making impact on her every day, like starting with blank page everyday since she forget things fast and her 18 year old mind works faster. From one side its good since you could scrool up and then next day she would forget(get over already) what you did.

[so..umhey]

age is just a number. idk if u two have all of the same beliefs as my friends but there very strong christians. they were brought up that way and they believed in courting and no sex before marriage and they were never looking for something "fun and casual". they were always looking for the one. i don't think ur age difference will be a prob if u two were raised the same.

i think u should still go for it. good luck in whatever u decide!!

[eclayman]

Thanks Nico88 and so..umhey. That's definitely the way we think. Honestly, I'd say we compliment each other's maturity levels. How awkward would it be if I did talk to her and she doesn't really see me that way? We'd still both be showing up to the events with this group.

[nico88]

I mean yeah, it'll be a lil awkward. But like you said she's gunna be out of there soon so you wouldn't have to deal with it for too long you know?

[eclayman]

Well, I meant mostly for her. I don't want to cause her to stop attending, even if it is for a short while. But now that I've thought about it, it's still better to get it out there instead of wondering "what if?"

I'd like to be 51% sure that she's interested, though. I would have figured us two dressing according to a theme might've told me that, but Searock shot that down. I'll see her again in a few days.

So, a question about "touch". If I lean in, arms touching, and she doesn't move, would that mean nothing because she's friendly and outgoing? I tried google-fu'ing an answer to that, but to no avail.

[searock]

So, a question about "touch". If I lean in, arms touching, and she doesn't move, would that mean nothing because she's friendly and outgoing? I tried google-fu'ing an answer to that, but to no avail.

Because there is no answer. Dude, you need to stop over analyzing. The only way you can know for sure if she's interested in you is by either making a move (kissing her) or by asking her out. You don't want to do either for the time being, so you're just going to have to wait until you are no longer her group leader to have your answer.

[MOBSNACKS2015]

for some reason i can not create my own thread, i need help please, long story short i met a woman on a cam site who i knew was married and we met in person and we were together for 16 months in the online sense and then out of the blue in november she dumps me and moves on to someone else the same night and now 2 days ago she was on cam with her husband, all i want is for her to come back to me, what do i do??? thank you for any help.

[nico88]

Yeah man, listen to searock here. Love is all about taken risks you know? There's no way to tell for sure if she's interested unless you let her know how you feel.

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Mobsnacks2015: Dude really? A married woman who dumped you for someone else and is still involved with her husband that you want back? No ok? Just no....seriously. No.