He says he keeps getting these uneasy feelings??

[Dexie]

Hi, I wonder if anyone could help me with this. I have been with the most wonderful man in the world for about a year now and we are very happy. We rarely fight and when we do, it doesn't last very long. We live together. We recently had a heart to heart and he told me that he gets these feelings of uneasiness to his stomach. He says he feels that it's not just about me, but that it's about everything. He says he feels like something just isn't right. I don't know if it's a trust issue (although we did discuss cheating - he did say he had major "uneasy feelings" due to a comment I made about cheating) I don't quite know what to do about this or how to make his uneasy feelings go away. He makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong when I know I haven't. I love this man more than life itself. What do I do when he gets like this? I feel really awkward around him when it happens (like I don't know what to say to him which is weird because we are so close)

[lalalita]

Intuition can be very strong and I never suggest going against gut feelings. Is there anything at all you're hiding from him?

[Dexie]

I know and I agree with you. But no, there is absolutely nothing I am hiding from him. I would never lie to him and I can't understand why he feels like this. When he tells me that he feels this way or when he acts distant, it makes me feel like I have done something wrong. We spend all our time together and do everything together. When we are apart, we're always on the phone to each other so I really don't know what it is? He knows that he is my everything and how much he means to me. We talk about our future together all the time so why does he get these strange feelings?

[Wakeup]

Just what was the comment about cheating that set him on edge? Perhaps he now thinks he can't trust you.

[pcmaster]

It must be just a stage. You said thats how he feels about everything. So theres is no your fault. You might suggest counseling or therapist to find where the problem actually hides. However I think that will pass with time. How old are you both btw? Is this your first love?

[XyOh]

It sounds like you're on the right track and you should just keep trying to communicate with him. Keep asking him questions and get to the bottom of it. Every answer should inspire another question. It seems like you haven't actually done anything wrong, so the communication should be relatively easy. Both of you lay down, be relaxed, be pensive, and ask questions with a good listening ear. Maybe give each other back rubs as you get to the bottom of it.

[Dexie]

The comment was something along the lines of would you ever cheat on me or something like that. And I just rambled on about the fact that if it ever came to that - I would prefer him to call me and leave me first before doing it. It was just a converstaion really, but I guess it just planted a seed in his head? I would never cheat on him, the thought of being with someone else actually makes me feel ill.
This isn't my first love, no, I had a seven year relationship before him as did he. I'm 29 and he is 38. I want so much to get to the bottom of this and want to help him overcome this problem but I don't even know how to react. I guess it's progress when he tells me that he gets the uneasy feelings right? Thank you so much for listening and taking the time out to respond....

[XyOh]

The comment was something along the lines of would you ever cheat on me or something like that. And I just rambled on about the fact that if it ever came to that - I would prefer him to call me and leave me first before doing it. It was just a converstaion really, but I guess it just planted a seed in his head? I would never cheat on him, the thought of being with someone else actually makes me feel ill.
This isn't my first love, no, I had a seven year relationship before him as did he. I'm 29 and he is 38. I want so much to get to the bottom of this and want to help him overcome this problem but I don't even know how to react. I guess it's progress when he tells me that he gets the uneasy feelings right? Thank you so much for listening and taking the time out to respond....

He's 38 and you're 29, you're both old enough to know that HE'S old enough to figure out how to express what's wrong. Tell him to spit it out ... but you know, in a nice, loving way. It's kind of ridiculous that a 38 year old man can't figure out how to translate "uneasy feelings" into words. Tell him the two of you aren't teenagers. There's no reason why you can't be adults and talk it out.

[chinagirl]

Unless he's the one who cheated on you and is feeling guilty?

[michelle23]

Hes 38 FFS. Just tell him to stop pussyfooting around the issue and tell you what the problem is so you can discuss it like grown ups. People dont get "uneasy feelings" for no reason so what is he uneasy about? Does he think you cheated? Is he worried you will in the future? Has he done something? Paranoia doesnt just pop up out of nowhere. If hes paranoid theres a reason for it..

It doesnt make sense that he feels uneasy coz you asked him not to hurt you.. wtf I would say thats a fairly normal conversation for most couples

[Dexie]

You're all right. I guess it's an insecurity and all I can do is support him through it. It really is not a nice experience to go through and I hate the fact that he doubts me at times. I think maybe he got really hurt in the past, I think that maybe time will tell and that he will open up more to me as time goes on and I should just be more patient and assertive. I hae already told him that it isn't fair when he has these periods of "doubting" me. I have neever given him any reason to think these things anyway. Also, there is no way possible that he cheated on me. I trust him whole heartedly in that regard. Again, thanks for all the advice, it's really appreciated :-)

[michelle23]

Its not your job to ease his insecurities. Hes the one with the problem-he needs to fix it and you need to tell him that. Stop being his emotional punching bag-its abusive to accuse you of things you havnt done