Looking for advice and just need to talk.

[mrconfused31]

Hi,

I would like to give my relationship history before starting with what I need help with. I have not had many relationships in my life and am currently married what would I guess you could say is my high school sweetheart. We have been together 13 years and married 8. We have always been best friends since the day we met. Although we have never actually been a traditional couple that goes on dates and what not we have always greatly enjoyed our time together. We are both somewhat introverts and have always found great comfort in each other, something we both have not had with any other people in our lives for the most part, which is mostly why I think we decided to get married. We are comfortable together and exist and live well together. We have enough things in common that our time together is great and the best is we never really get on each others nerves and fight like what we hear with other couples we know and whatever. We are just a great fit together and it works. We do not have children and probably never will have the traditional family which is ok. The reasons being is she does not want to have kids at all and while I somewhat do it would never fit or be something possible with our relationship. That is also something I guess I am fine with. I personally have never met anyone that I would want to have that with either. I feel you would need a special connection to be able to have children and make sure they have the greatest family presence they need and I don't think together we would fill that for some unknown reason and also if she doesn't want children I can be fine with that because we have a good thing.

However my issue is this. For starters I like my video games. I play with a lot of people in my country and around the world and have a great deal of good online friends that I enjoy time with. Its probably better than the games themselves to be able to connect to people who generally you would never have the chance of meeting in real life. The thing is a while back I met a woman in a game and I have fallen for her hard. Up until very recently I have only known here by her real name and voice. I don't understand how I could have gotten such strong deep feelings from nothing more than a voice but it makes me feel that she is the one real true love of my life. I know it sounds far fetched and I guarantee it is considering she is Iraqi and I am American and I know if the craziest thing happened that we someday tried a real relationship with each other, which at this point has never came up but I cant get the thought out of my head, it would most likely not be able to happen. Her country has been in war basically her whole life. Her parents have spent her and her siblings lives worrying for their lives and their is no way she would be comfortable coming here and having family at such a distant. And I for one could most likely never safely go there for the fact I am American. But still I cant help but dream.

The thing is like I said I fell hard for a voice and conversation. We have found time through our time differences to get online everyday and hang out in our pixelated world and just talk its great. She would love one day to have a family and quite honest just talking with her she seems like she would be the only one I would have feelings for to want the same. Like I said before I like the idea of children but the relationship would have to be just right. I came from a broken home and I would not want that for my children so the relationship would have to seem strong enough to handle that. I have met a lot of people on line and this has never happened. I also find it crazy that it is just through a voice and conversation that I have these feelings. I understand that seeing someone that is attractive to you can get stuck in your head but this is too hard to comprehend. I am not sure if this could be true love or what. I think about her daily, we chat and check in everyday and just recently traded photos and chat through Skype and such and yes she is beautiful and I would dream of her Im sure if I just saw her but that is not what developed these feelings.

I know its a long shot and I am way putting the cart before the horse but I have no idea what to do if something more could ever come from this. If im crazy for even thinking that. There are all these what ifs.

I am going to end this soon because I know I am repeating myself and babbling but I am not great at these feelings discussions and what not but I would greatly appreciate insight because I am going outta my mind lol.

Thank you so much for you help if you can give it.

[Wakeup]

Everything with this woman? (could be a man posing as a woman for all you know) is a fantasy. You are not definitely not making your wife happy if you're spending your emotions and most of your time online accompanying some thing you've never met while you ignore your wife who you have met and decided to give the rest of your life to. Remember your parents... how they divoriced and broke up your family? Well that is the slippery slope you are now on by having this emotional affair with your fantasy VOICE.

Get the fk off the computer, stop the gaming for a month, put your focus back on the real world and the wife you describe as being in a wonderful relationship with before you **** it up for good and she gets hurt by you ignoring her for some voice who tells you words that have no action to back them up as truth.

When I read about so many of you gamers doing exactly what you're currently doing and wasting their lives on line and with VOICES they've fallen in love with, it makes me shake my head and wonder what really is wrong with you all that you allow this shit to take place.

If I needed to start dating again, I would NEVER date someone who games. Y'all must look pasty white and ill of health. You can't sit there for that many hours and not have it affect your health in a very negative way. I just heard on the news that it's worse then smoking to sit for long periods of time.

Get up, take your wife on a night away, focus your energy and emotions on her and vow to tell the VOICE that you'll not be logging into "play" with her in the games or on Skype as it's interfering with the woman you vowed to forsake all others for. If she's decent she'll applaud you for your integrity and the royalty you'd be showing your wife.