boyfriend lost his job and said he needed time to figure himself out.

[caligirl9672]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and everything has been amazing it's honestly felt like the honeymoon period the whole time. 11 days ago, on a day I was supposed to spend with him, he texted me and told me he was feeling down and not himself because he lost his temper at work and lost his job because of it. He said he was embarrassed and mad at himself for how he acted. I told him I wanted to see him and be there for him and he said he would come over but he was going to spend time with his dad first and didn't know how long it would take. He assured me he was still coming over. We continued talking and he told me he felt hurt and like all he does is work and never gets anywhere, and that he feels like his life is full of struggles. Then he said he just needs to take time to figure out who he is. This was very alarming to me because I didn't know he lost his job and I saw him two days before this and everything was fine, also I've literally never heard him talk like that before, he has always been a super happy and optimistic person, so I knew something was wrong and started to panic I asked him to tell me he loves me and he said he loves me it's not me it's life. When he said he needed time I asked if he meant he needs time without me and he said he doesn't know what he wants. To that I told him I understand and I hope he finds what he's looking for. He did not reply and we haven't talked at all since. I understand him acting this way because he is EXTREMELY hard on himself. I don't think this has anything to do with me or how he feels about me I think he just doesn't want me to see him as a mess. I'm very confused because I don't know what he's thinking and I didn't think we would go this long without talking. I want to know what I should do, I don't want to lose him and I don't know if it's better to give him space and not talk to him until he comes to me or if I should let him know I'm here for him and think he's amazing and I want to be with him. Thank you for your advice.

[basilandthyme]

Tricky situation. I'd give him time - but not too much time.

Thing is, when we're in a relationship, life continues and bad stuff happens. Loved ones die, jobs get found and lost, we move houses and have children. All of these things cause immense stress on an individual - but a strong couple will work through it together and help each other. Imagine if a husband or wife wanted time out each time there was a private catastrophe.