Need help fixing a problem approaching women

[LonelyNerd]

Hello. I got a problem that I can't seem to fix. It's probably a psychological problem but since I can't afford a therapist I am posting it here.
A little background, I'm 22, never had a gf, never asked a girl out, always lived in fear, only now decided to try and change myself.

Anyway I figured out after intense reading, thinking and talking to friends that I have an issue that I call "fear of not knowing the outcome". Basically, if I talk to someone (mostly girls) I've never talked to before I start having fears from not knowing the results of what I'm about to do. My mind sets itself to a mode in which it tries to force a predictable result. and as a result whenever I approach a girl/unknown person I automatically start talking in a manner that seems aggressive from the side and, as I said, it looks like I'm not trying to hook up with the person but to murder him (or her).
Is there any efficient way to fix this problem besides approaching hundreds of girls and making them run away from me? No one has actually ran away from me physically but I could see the look in their face that could only mean "please don't hurt me I'll do anything" or in the more brave way "get the hell away from me creep".
Please help me fix this or at least direct me to a place where I can get answers without paying money

[basilandthyme]

Many people can't just start talking to strangers. And many people don't want to be approached by strangers. The issue you have isn't at all uncommon, nor is there anything wrong with you.

Suggest you stop worrying about trying to approach strangers and work on extending your social circle so that the new people you meet are at least by way of introduction or common interest.

[LonelyNerd]

I just feel like what I'm having is more serious, I literally look like a murderer when I approach people. I guess I'll have to try anyway...
Thanks!

[basilandthyme]

Except for those who are highly skilled at it, approaching randoms has a really high failure rate. Why would you persist in something which is really difficult and with low success rates when it's far easier and more effective to talk with women who you have *something* in common with?

[Kibo]

Maybe you start with something you know the outcome of. You could start by asking people what time it is, or where the next bus stop is. Smile, be polite and thank the person for the answer. Then move on to the next person. If you have been doing this a while and you start to feel more comfortable, you might try to extend the talk or ask other questions.

Also your mindset is important. Do you like other people or do you think they are stupid? Are you afraid that you could be rejected? Try to think of everyone as your friend.

There are many instructional videos concerning pick up on youtube. I can also recommend you the book how to win friends and influence people. I am reading this currently and I found the information in this book amazing!

There are so many more things you could do. Visit courses on improvisation theatre or other public courses where you meet people and can practice social relations. If you only started now, you are going to need a lot of practice. Go out and try things out.

All beginnings are difficult. Keep it up.

[LonelyNerd]

Maybe you start with something you know the outcome of. You could start by asking people what time it is, or where the next bus stop is. Smile, be polite and thank the person for the answer. Then move on to the next person. If you have been doing this a while and you start to feel more comfortable, you might try to extend the talk or ask other questions.

Also your mindset is important. Do you like other people or do you think they are stupid? Are you afraid that you could be rejected? Try to think of everyone as your friend.

There are many instructional videos concerning pick up on youtube. I can also recommend you the book how to win friends and influence people. I am reading this currently and I found the information in this book amazing!

There are so many more things you could do. Visit courses on improvisation theatre or other public courses where you meet people and can practice social relations. If you only started now, you are going to need a lot of practice. Go out and try things out.

All beginnings are difficult. Keep it up.

alright let me explain what I've done so far.
A few days ago I've decided to give a test to the DC program (Demonic Confidence) and in the first day I was supposed to ask 30 women what time it is and I failed, only asked 27, and had an emotional breakdown in the end of the day from how hard it was, imagine, an emotional breakdown from asking girls what's the damn time!!
Anyway, mindset is indeed important and I'm now trying to turn everything around me into my comfort zone, which is not as easy but I think I'm gaining some results. I don't care about getting rejected, I never cared about it and I don't mind, it's not knowing the outcome that scares the shit out of me.
I watched few videos, one that I really liked by Sasha Daygame and I learned a lot of things from them, but had a hard time transitioning into real life because of my confidence issues.
I guess the courses idea is nice, I'll sure try it
Thanks a lot!

[basilandthyme]

Your negative self talk is clearly one of your problems. You talk of failure because you only asked 27 girls the time. Mate, you asked 27 girls what the time was!!! Huge effort - and next time you'll do better.

that glass is half full - not half empty

[LonelyNerd]

I could definitely benefit from some positive thinking