A mind game went too far

[Hunny Bunny]

Hello guys,

I'd like to ask you a question. I have a lover. I am 30 and he is 45. But better say HAD. Not a GF/BF relationship. We were really into each other. Amazing sex. And I felt we had feelings for each other gradually developed as well. I noticed he liked playing mind games to make me want him more. I told him once or twice I'd really like a man having me pleading for fuc... me. He said he was gonna do anything to make me happy. No reason why I shouldn't have trusted him. I wanted the same for him. Then all of a sudden he began to put off our thrilling rides, excusing himself. Then said it was end. It wasn't. Then another I want you now... common mind games, but I hated the waiting. Then he called me over, I came... Left, I love you, I love you. Sweet texting the next day. But then he became cold again. I told myself I was not gonna playing now and gave him an ultimatum, which he obviously refused. All via texting. I waited, then asked him to see me. He refused with a short compliment. Then, I lost patience and texted him (during the time in which I was asked not to text to him), "If you are not gonna give me what I want, I am going to find it somewhere else this friday." He replied "Enjoy". The next day he texted me after my unobtrusive, maybe a bit easy-going, message, Do not text me, do not call, I don't want you. i apologized and stated that I am staying home on Friday night. And went no conntact. It has been 4 days and no reply. Today I sent him 3 messages. The last one was quite emotional :-). No response of course, otherwise, I would not ask here .

Btw. I was asked to come to dinner that Friday, which I refused but wanted to make him a bit jealous.

I am asking you. Is this another mind game? Is he punishing me? Is it really over? I am going to see him this Saturday how shall I behave? We had a really deep connection a week ago. But I am afraid he might think I am a slut... He has always been a bit shy and insecure, even though I texted him that I was not going to any date.

[melancholia]

I am asking you. Is this another mind game? Is he punishing me? Is it really over? I am going to see him this Saturday how shall I behave? We had a really deep connection a week ago. But I am afraid he might think I am a slut... He has always been a bit shy and insecure, even though I texted him that I was not going to any date.

WTF? You are all over the place. It sounds like you are talking about two completely different guys, or someone with multiple personality disorder. This is absolute lunacy. Get over it and move on. Demand better for yourself next time you get involved with a guy and don't waste your time playing games.

[Hunny Bunny]

Thanks for help :-) Btw. he's the same guy. No personality disorder, hopefully. He is really sexy for me. I do not think other women regard him as to be so. And it is easily said LET GO than done. I think it will take time. Do you know what it feels like after a long time without affection, being refused when giving a kiss and a hug. What it feels like when a man wants you badly and there is plenty affection? I do not want to lose it now.

[starbar]

You are 30.. don't you think its time for something more "real"? I think you are too old to be acting like some naive school girl hoping for more when it is obvious he just wants sex. You cannot sex someone into loving you. Work on your self esteem and set your standards higher

[melancholia]

And it is easily said LET GO than done. I think it will take time.

You are absolutely right. It is so much harder to let go than it is to say it. It's especially more difficult when you are stuck in the thick of it with all your feelings swirling around. However, re-read what you wrote. Nothing from what you wrote suggests that he cares about you or has even a shred of respect for you.

Do you know what it feels like after a long time without affection, being refused when giving a kiss and a hug. What it feels like when a man wants you badly and there is plenty affection? I do not want to lose it now.

Yes, I do. I know it can be painful, but I think it's much better to be free of the burden of someone who doesn't care or respect you, than it is to get boned every once in a while.

What do you believe you deserve out of a relationship? Do you believe you deserve more than what you are getting from him? If you aren't, your only option would be to talk to him about it and tell him what your needs and expectations are. But it sounds like he already broke this FWB situation off and doesn't seem inclined to rekindle that. I'm sorry if you are hurting, but I believe in you! And I believe you deserve more than what this man is capable of giving you.

[Wakeup]

I told him once or twice I'd really like a man having me pleading for fuc... me.

What does that even mean?

You have played a player and you lost the game. Go cold turkey withdrawl from him. That means zero contact so that you can rehab from your addiction to the mind-game-playing-sex only situation you have orchestrated for yourself.

You should seriously consider getting yourself a few counselling sessions under your belt so that you truly learn to believe that you deserve more then being someone's piece of ass and not much more. Granted he was YOUR piece of ass too but you don't know how to play the game and he's leaving you shattered. Stop abusing yourself in this mess with this guy.

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks for help :-) Btw. he's the same guy. No personality disorder, hopefully. He is really sexy for me. I do not think other women regard him as to be so. And it is easily said LET GO than done. I think it will take time. Do you know what it feels like after a long time without affection, being refused when giving a kiss and a hug. What it feels like when a man wants you badly and there is plenty affection? I do not want to lose it now.

You're fvcking yourself over for sex without love. He will use you for a place to cum and then go cold on you because he doesn't love you. Stop the insanity ffs.